This is a post I made on August 27th....
I just need some reassurance to know I'm not overreacting and my hormones aren't making me go crazy. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant with our first baby, a boy. He is 38 and I'm 25. We have a good relationship and rarely ever fight but my issue is he lies to me so much is hard to stay with him. I just don't trust him.
Two months ago he left his email up on my kindle and I found out that he had been answering ads on craigslist about discreetly hooking up with girls and sending pics to them, getting their pics, and exchanging numbers. He said nothing happened I forgave him, then 3 weeks later he was on the personal ads again. He said he never responded just looked. I booked a ticket home and almost left but then decided to give him one more chance.
This last week I found out he was texting a female employee from work. He is the manager and his excuse was she was the keyholder and that's wet sure had his personal cell number. Well they were not texting about work so that didn't make since. He was asking her forgiveness about something and she was saying that he will always have a place in her heart. He put her in his phone under her last name so it seemed he was talking to a male named Stephen. He told me her real name and said he did that so I didn't freak out. The thing I don't get is I've never ever gotten mad at him for talking to his female employees so why would he say that? He got mad once that a male employee had his cell number so why is she different. Why did he just not tell me who it was and why try to make it seem like a guy? It doesn't make sense to me. Then after I asked him about it nicely last night this morning they are deleted?
He says I'm overreacting and I'm being insecure. I have never been insecure about myself or in a relationship other then my ex who kept cheating. He is making me feel this way! His lies make me self conscious. These aren't the only things he lies about but these are the most recent. I'm just confused. At one point I wonder if it's my pregnancy hormones or if I am allowed to feel this way. I have talked so much about him being honest with me that I deserve that because I'm totally honest with him but it still happens. I'm just lost, hurt, and confused.
btw yes I went through his phone after the last few months I can't help it because he lies and it seems every time I give him a little trust something happens. he says I have nothing to worry about but then why lie and hide it?
As of today...
I woke up to his iPod that he had been hiding and with him everywhere and the history was cleared. I looked at the internet history in the advanced settings that he obviously didn't know how to clear and found sites in the last few days from things such as youjizz.com, horneywife.com, punishtube.com, exposedwebcams.com, Mr.skin.com, naughtyamerica.com to fling.com, cupid.com, socialsex.biz, lotro.com, ashleyrnadison.com, and many many more. I'm done! I'm over forgiving him and trying to work it out since in now 17 weeks pregnant, and then finding more lies and that he hides. I mean some of those were sexual hook up sites! I have no idea if he had an account with any of those, knowing him he will say they were just pop ups which may be true but not every sexual hook up site he went to can be a pop up in the cookies. Can it? That many?
He is going to try to say I'm hormonal and over reacting maybe I am. I just don't give a s##t right now. I have told him over and over and over how I feel I'm not waiting for it to lead to something more if it hasn't already. We have been together for one year and I feel life its ALL lies! I love him but not this side of him. He treats me like a queen but now I think it's because he feels guilty for everything he does.
So I packed his s##t and it's sitting on the front porch for when he gets his in an hour. This apartment is in his name but right now I could care less. ALL of my family is states away he can figure out family to stay with or whatever until I get enough saved up to leave.
I'm hurt, angry, and feel betrayed! I am also questioning if this is the right thing to do....??