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Twerking at a school dance? How would you punish YOUR child?

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • 27 Replies

Uptight Mom Punishes Daughter for Twerking at School Dance

by Jacqueline Burt

twerking signI don't know about you, but I kind of thought the "make your kid hold up a humiliating sign detailing his or her wrongdoings in a high-traffic area" disciplinary trend was over. (At least I hoped so.) Alas, I was wrong. Not only is the trend still going strong-ish, it's evolving to include new misdemeanors, moving on from the realm of petty thievery and cursing to ... twerking. Yes, twerking. Don't believe me? Just ask 11-year-old Jamie Hena, a seventh grader in California who dared to twerk at her school dance, much to mother Frances Hena's dismay. 

Now, before we go any further, I should point out that twerking is apparently NOT against school rules -- Jamie was in the clear until a friend told her mom about the "inappropriate" moves she busted. 

So, beyond the question of why any parent thinks making their kid hold up a piece of cardboard with a half-hearted apology scrawled in magic marker is actually an effective form of discipline, what I want to know is if poor Jamie even knew she was really doing anything wrong. Also, WAS she really doing anything wrong? Um ... nope. Sure, she was dancing "inappropriately" for an 11-year-old girl, but one could argue that The Twerk (as I've decided it should be referred to always from this point on) is an "inappropriate" dance for anyone at any age to perform.

That said, it's no less/more raunchy than any other inappropriate dance craze from years past: When I was 11 years old, Dirty Dancing -- the movie -- was all the rage, and while there was precious little dirty dancing going on at any school functions (boys and girls still stayed far away from each other on separate sides of the gym), it was still something we all knew about and were like, whatever. Meaning Patrick Swayze didn't corrupt us, you know? (Neither did the lesser known Lambada craze from around the same time.) Just like Elvis and his hips didn't corrupt our then-young parents, Miley Cyrus and her twerking didn't corrupt Jamie Hena or anybody else. Because while twerking is tacky and suggestive, it's still just a dance, and to punish your 11-year-old for dancing "disrespectfully" is to load up that innocent butt-waggling with a butt-load of innuendo she probably never even realized was there in the first place -- 'til ya made her stand there with a sign and think about it, that is. So who's corrupting whom??

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Do you think this was an appropriate punishment for twerking at a school dance?

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
IandLoveandYou
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:48 AM
2 moms liked this
Ugh.

Not by intentionally humiliating her be forcing her to hold up a sign by the road. I hate that.

How about talking to your child about how she is objectifying herself and why that's harmful?
There's a thought.
LilLadyLovely
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:55 AM

 Like you I dont understand how holding up a sign is going to make a child understand what they did wrong and why it was wrong. I see how it embarrasses them but is that really teaching them anything?

I would much rather sit my child down and explain how its not a very appropriate dance for a young lady that respects herself, and that it isnt very attractive for a young lady to behave or carry herself that way. I think children these days need much more explanation and real-life examples than ever before and Miley Cyrus would have been my real-life example seeing as though many young girls look up to her these days.

I would think that reading and hearing all of the negative backlash Miley has recently gone through would adequately get my point across. Maybe if she seen how negatively people responded to Miley twerking it would show her how most people don't see that dance as being "acceptable" or "cool" for young woman to do.

If that didn't work I would explain it again and prohibit her from attending any social events for the rest of the school year.

mommy2boys03
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this

From information I was told by a friend of mine her mother forbid her to twerk.  That being said to me that is just daring a teen or preteen to do it.  I personally think that the dance looks ridiculous and eventally all these girls are going to see videos of themselves and go what the f was I thinking and the longer parents make a big deal about it the more kids are going to use it to rebel.

1st_time_mom789
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:00 AM

Yes! This exactly!!!

Quoting IandLoveandYou:

Ugh.

Not by intentionally humiliating by her forcing her to hold up a sign by the road. I hate that.

How about talking to your child about how she is objectifying herself and why that's harmful?
There's a thought.


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TheSilence
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this
How about we allow parents to decide what is and is not acceptable for their children to do and punish them as they see fit. As long as they aren't beating their children you shouldn't even think you have a say in it.
Just because you would, obviously, allow your 11 year old daughter to twerk doesn't mean every parent will or should. Maybe this girl was warned that tweaking is inappropriate and still chose to do so.
Just because a school doesn't ban it doesn't mean a parent can't.
Cafe Robin
by Group Owner on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:09 AM
4 moms liked this

Worse than my child twerking at a dance would be my child standing on a street corner telling everyone that she twerked at a dance!

I can just imagine men honking their horns at her and inviting her to go with them... 

I think these parents are looking for a lot more trouble if standing on a street corner telling everyone that you twerked is what they encourage and enforce!

susannah2000
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:25 AM

I don't think that making her hold up a sign was right, but I do not for one minute think that an 11 year old is clueless that such a move is inappropriate. I would be having a serious talk with her about respecting herself and her body, and to help her remember, missing the next school function or two. As mentioned, also pointing out that no one thought Miley was "sexy" but just kind of gross.

housewifehell
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:44 AM

I thought punishment meant you were supposed to THINK about what you have done wrong. So I feel yes this was s great punishment. I was talking to my DH the other day and I was asking him about "lewd" behavior. He looked like I had two heads. Apparently he had never heard that term before but I remember my grandparents saying it and it referred to behavior much less provocative than twerking so what the hell happened to those standards?  If my child was "twerking" anywhere she would be punished because that is not acceptable behavior in our home or our family and honestly I cant understand why its become acceptable in public.  I know everyone is saying its not acceptable but if it truly weren't acceptable then Miley would be apologizing profusely and her fan base would be gone instead of it getting bigger because of this.  Makes me sick twerking is nothing more than dry humping and sorry if you wanna do that get a room!


Definition: Lewd & lascivious behavior    occurs when a person commits an indecent act of sexual gratification with another with knowledge that they are in the presence of others or publicly and indecently exposes genitals or pubic area, unless the person is a female breast-feeding her child. A person convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.


To me this type of behavior is so close to this line especially with the outfit she was wearing that to me she should be charged with a crime doing this on national tv!

kmorales7690
by Proud Army Wife on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:57 PM

 We did dances like that when I was in high school lol, it wasn't called twerking back then it was just dancing! lol I don't know if I would make her hold a sign, but I might not allow her to go to the next dance.

angelachristine
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:03 PM

That was my thought too. If she had lied or stolen or done something of that nature I'd be fine with this kind of punishment but telling everyone she had twerked seems like it would excite pedophiles.


Quoting Cafe Robin:

Worse than my child twerking at a dance would be my child standing on a street corner telling everyone that she twerked at a dance!

I can just imagine men honking their horns at her and inviting her to go with them... 

I think these parents are looking for a lot more trouble if standing on a street corner telling everyone that you twerked is what they encourage and enforce!



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