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fear that I am dying?

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:59 PM
  • 3 Replies

Ever since my mom got diagnosed with cancer, I have been worried avout having it myself. She recently passed away from it and I have this constant worry that I have cancer and I am dying. Is this normal? I have crappy state insurance so I cant get a primary doc, I would have to go to the ER and I am afraid they are going to find something and want to keep me and start treatment. I have pains right next to my heart, not my heart though, that scare me and I want to get checked out. I automatically think its a tumor and I am so afraid to find out for sure. My mom lived for almost 4 years after her diagnosis and treatment. She went through so much and I am so afraid to go through the same... her father also died from cancer, but he was 75, she was only 51.

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:59 PM
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by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I have suffered from anxiety and my anxiety used to manifest as health issues. I noticed it when a family friend died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was constantly worried that any slight pain/twinge was a tumor/blood clot etc. My mind went to the worst possible scenario all the time. And it is amazing how many pains we create because we are focussing on it. 

I would suggest that first off you do go get it checked.You may be surprised that it is nothing and purely anxiety fueled. If they find something then you deal with it one step at a time. I would also suggest you find a therapist that specialises in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). That changed my life.

I can totally understand why you are stressed and worried, and thats totally reasonable. I am sorry about the loss of your mother. No wonder it has hit you so hard.
But the anxiety is going to eat you up. I was in a really bad. I got to the point where I was having panic attacks multiple times a day and scared to be alone in case something happened to me. I went to the ER/doctor a few times over nothing but its just coz you are focussing on your health.

You will get through this and come out stronger on the other side.

by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I lost a great aunt and both parents to alzheimers.Everytime I foget something I totally freak out thinking I now have it.Hugs!

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:07 PM

I think it is pretty normal to be anxious and worry about our own mortality right after someone so close to us passes away. Everyone deals with it in one way or another and you have to give yourself time to go through that process. You know yourslef better than anyone else, so if you are truley conscerned then by all means, get checked out! nothing wrong with keeping track of your health (both physical and mental)!

Now I know not everyone follows (or even believes in ) God, but if you do I would suggest going to your pastor, preacher, deacon, elder, etc...and seeing if your church can help with any kind of counseling.

Either way, I am sorry about your Mom and I hope you are able to get the help you need!

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