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What is up with trying to shame your child as a form of punishment??!

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 1:37 PM
  • 19 Replies

How did one Utah dad teach his teenage daughter a lesson about dressing more modestly? 

Here’s the long and short of it — very short of it.

Fed up with his daughter constantly wearing Daisy Duke-style micro-shorts, Scott Mackintosh took a pair of scissors to his jeans and cut them crotch-high, so that a pocket peeked from beneath. He then donned a “Best. Dad. Ever.” T-shirt and wore the outfit during a family night out on the town.

“I was absolutely going for shock value and a little bit of embarrassment,” he told NBC’s Mike Taibbi.

Mackintosh said he didn't intend to wear his micro-shorts outside the home, but his daughter failed to notice his outfit because she was glued to the phone. So he upped the ante and wore his shorts out to dinner and a game of miniature golf.

“I decided to make a ‘small’ statement on how her short-shorts maybe aren’t as ‘cute’ as she thinks!” he wrote on his wife’s family blog.

Mackintosh’s mortified daughter finally reached her limit when they went out for milk shakes.

“I just got out of the car, walked in and she says, ‘I’m staying in the car,’” said Mackintosh, who also has three other daughters and three sons.

But the night didn’t embarrass Mackintosh's daughter enough to prevent her — along with his wife and one of his sons —from posting pictures they took of him on social media. The images went viral, and soon the family heard from people across the nation as well as around the world.

Mackintosh said the entire incident was meant as a gentle way to get his point across, but he did question whether his tactic worked.

“There was no ‘Dad, I get it’ or ‘Dad ,you’re the best … thanks for that awesome lesson,” he said. 

However, he said his daughter has been better about her choice in shorts.

“I think she’s just aware of my feelings. And sometimes, understanding your parent’s feelings are important,” he said. 

 

 

There's this story, the story of the mom who made her DD stand on corner with a sign about not twerking anymore and then there is the countless others who use this a a form of punishment. Hell, even judges are using this form as a sentence for people convicted of certain things! Enough of this crap already! Take the bull by the horns and PARENT, ENFORCE rules in society. So stupid! Do you really think these people who are punished this way, actually learn a lesson and never do the offense again??? (I sure dont!)

by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 1:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
slashteddy
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM
3 moms liked this
And what's your idea of enforcing the rules? Brutal beatings?

This is a valid parenting method, whether you agree or not, and imo, can be more valuable than simply grounding or taking away privileges in some cases. For embarassing behavior that some kids don't think is embarassing, this method drives the point home more than taking away their cell phone.

It works for some parents and their children and that's all that matters. No one is harmed by it, at all.
IrishMama625
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that all children are different and that different styles of disipline may work better. Brutal beatings aside, because that is abuse.

I see the father's point of embarrassing his daughter by wearing shorts similar in length to her own, but how did the daughter get these shorts in the first place and if they were so inappropriate, why were they not donated or thrown out by the MOTHER and father? 

xtwistedxlovex
by Gold Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
In general I disagree with shaming, but as far as the shorts go I support it - minus the sign, anyway. He was making a point, and it's far better to teach your kids WHY they shouldn't do something than to forbid it and expect them to blindly obey. They frequently follow the rules until they move out and then go wild because their one reason for not doing such things - YOU - is no longer an issue. Better to give them a valid reason that will stick with them than just say ”you won't because I say you can't."
DDDhousewife
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the punishment needs to fit the crime. in the case of the dad wearing the short shorts to get a point accross to his daughter? I think it was perfect. Lord knows if my dad had walked around in shorts like that I never would have worn anything shorter than knee length again haha!

xtwistedxlovex
by Gold Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Teens frequently alter decent clothes to make them ”cool” and indecent. She may also have gotten them from friends or bought them herself.

Quoting IrishMama625:

I think that all children are different and that different styles of disipline may work better. Brutal beatings aside, because that is abuse.

I see the father's point of embarrassing his daughter by wearing shorts similar in length to her own, but how did the daughter get these shorts in the first place and if they were so inappropriate, why were they not donated or thrown out by the MOTHER and father? 

Ktina11
by Silver Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Wearing the short shorts was not shaming. He simply displayed what his daughter was displaying. I think this is a great way to demonstrate views and perceptions to teenagers.

I see holding a sign identifying a person as a "thief", etc is an acceptable way to hold them responsible for their actions. You choose to steal? You will be labeled a thief.

I would be mortified and it would totally have worked on me.
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bmw29
by Buttcrackncornchips on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:43 PM
If it works and doesn't cause long term damage then good for them.
MichaelsCasey
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 2:46 PM
I absolutely support it in this case. However.. Aren't they the ones funding her wardrobe? If you don't like what she is wearing, don't buy it in the first place.
Fallaya
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Kids embarrass their parents all the time. It's time for a taste of their own medicine!!!
petie1104
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Logical consequences tend to work with both my teen and my younger kids. If they wear short shorts (only a problem with dd) I simply tell her to throw them out. That ones easy, she doesn't have short shorts to wear. If they wrote nasty stuff on social media, they lose computer priviledges, and not just for a week. Usually its a month or more. If I caught them tweaking or being vulgar, they aren't allowed to go anywhere with friends, unaccompanied, for a while.

I don't think that bullying my kids is the way I want to parent.
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