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New mom and stressed

Posted by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:35 PM
  • 12 Replies
Hi! I'm a new mom to a sweet little boy. He just turne one month last week. I'm getting used to the sleeping patterns, or lack of at times. My stress comes from my husband. I feel like he doesn't really do anything. Yes, he works the comes home and he holds the baby and will occasionally vacuum but there is so much else that he could help with. It drives me crazy an I find myself very upset with him all the time. His reaponse to my nagging is that he works and contributes. I feel he doesnt do half as much as i do. taking care of a new baby is soooo much more work, i think. Did any other moms feel this way? What do I do?
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
shawnastooksbur
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Its just life the men dont now what to do as much as a mother dose see the baby realy needs the mom more then the dad my little girl is 6 months nd he stell won'twatch her or change her he just works and gos to sleep they dont get into the kid intell there walking so its normla for all dads
da_nica
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 3:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Yup my kids father didnt really help out as much as i wanted.. But yah men cant handle half the stuff us moms can... We are multi taskers and do a great damn job .. Bless all you hard working ladies and stay at home moms..
MidnightKat
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 3:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes being a new mom is overwhelming , but it will get easier as time goes by .


Kindly ask your husband to help with baby with doing little tasks one bit at a time , so he feels like he can accomplish it.

 Start with telling him that you love him and say please help with this or that , whatever it may be you need most help with baby care.  

Tell him he is a good provider and he will respond positively to you. 

One step at a time.   Little by little.   

Work as a team .   


NDADanceMom
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Schedule time to go out and leave him with the baby so he will be forced to step up.
doomshroom
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I felt the same way. I think it's safe to assume that this is a very common new mother complaint.

Communication is key. tell him how you feel without accusing him, because that will likely just make him more defensive. he may not realize or appreciate the workload you're dealing with.

It will get easier as your son gets older.
Rhylansmommy1
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 4:01 PM
Thanks for the advice ladies. I will definitely try to ask for my husbands help in a more positive way. It is definitely true that women are much better at multitasking. Hopefully month two will bring a little more calm to the household or I will get more use to the routine.
treystiredmommy
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 4:04 PM

are you nursing? if not, on a night that he isnt working the next day, make him get up with the baby everytime. just keep poking and pushing him and eventually he will get out of bed.  if you have to, pretend to be so overtired that you dont remember or realize you did it.  Make him get up with the baby for the entire night.  Fake like you are sleeping if you have to.  After one night of getting up 3 or 4 times he will have a glimpse into what you do all night let alone during the day and maybe be more willing to help out. i did this after dh told me he thought i had post partum depression.  i said no.  i have post partum exhaustion.  if you wanna help me one full night of sleep would be great.  he did and suddenly after that he was more willing to help out.  now we have 3 and i am exclusively nursing our 1 month old and i get no arguments when i ask for help cuz he gets to sleep uninterupted every night.

Caera
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 5:09 PM

Taking care of a new baby is not sooooo much more work than working 40+ hours a week in an office. 

It's just different kind of work.

You'll get used to it. In the meantime, don't nag him too much. Keep in mind your hormones are probably still a little whacked, and some of that "upset" you're feeling might actually be just from that.

hugss
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by Emerald Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I like this idea :)

Quoting NDADanceMom:

Schedule time to go out and leave him with the baby so he will be forced to step up.


LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:31 AM
2 moms liked this

Hugs! This happens alot! You need to get yourself into a routine, and if something doesn't get done! Oh well!

Have hubby pick up dinner once a week. Sleep when the baby does! Have family come over so you can relax and take a break!


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