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Is it ok to feel left out when as a stepmom you are not involved by your
husband when his daughters BDay come around?
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Replies (21-30):
BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:34 PM
Nope no cool w me
We plan my ss a birthday celebration. Just like we do for our daughters bdays
Wicked.Jester
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:39 PM

What does the BM have to do with it if the kids want a day with their father that doesn't include you?


Quoting Nickie76:

No actually BM is a scumbag and its ALL about her. I don't tolerate alcohol & pot at a children's b-day day party it's about being an adult. If you people support that then so be it. My step kids are fine w/ our arrangements.

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

You wouldnt tolerate it huh?

Even if its what the child wanted?

I guess their birthdays are all about you.

Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.



nmeyer617
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Quite true. I am so glad that I don't have to deal with this issue. Co-parenting is so damn hard anyway. Pot and alcohol and asshole parents make it exponentially harder.


Quoting Nickie76:

Yeah and if BM is an asshole then having separate events is better for THE CHILD. Have a great afternoon :)

Quoting nmeyer617:


FWIT, your attitude would make me (as the birth mother) not want you included in anything. My ex-husband's new wife was AWESOME in respecting my feelings. Both he and his new wife left it up to me. Because I felt like they were so understanding and sensitive (he moved in with her a month after we split up before our divorce was final), it felt weird that she wasn't there. If she would have just INSISTED and not tolerated it and made it about her, I would have been pissed and not wanted her there. But because it is about the children and she is important to my kids, I actually have been planning my youngest son's third birthday party with her.

Bottom line: It is about the child.


Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.






Nickie76
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Simply because that would be the only other celebration going on is w/ their BM. There would be no reason for DH to exclude myself or any of the other kids. This would especially be unfair seeing as there are 11 kids and two sets of multiples. Not everyone's situation is the same.

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

What does the BM have to do with it if the kids want a day with their father that doesn't include you?


Quoting Nickie76:

No actually BM is a scumbag and its ALL about her. I don't tolerate alcohol & pot at a children's b-day day party it's about being an adult. If you people support that then so be it. My step kids are fine w/ our arrangements.



Quoting Wicked.Jester:

You wouldnt tolerate it huh?

Even if its what the child wanted?

I guess their birthdays are all about you.

Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.



Nickie76
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:47 PM
It is unfortunate. We were invited to 3 of the kids party (Triplets) & we had to decline because my infant twins would have no where to go away from the chaos w/ the adults. So sad :(

Quoting nmeyer617:

Quite true. I am so glad that I don't have to deal with this issue. Co-parenting is so damn hard anyway. Pot and alcohol and asshole parents make it exponentially harder.



Quoting Nickie76:

Yeah and if BM is an asshole then having separate events is better for THE CHILD. Have a great afternoon :)



Quoting nmeyer617:


FWIT, your attitude would make me (as the birth mother) not want you included in anything. My ex-husband's new wife was AWESOME in respecting my feelings. Both he and his new wife left it up to me. Because I felt like they were so understanding and sensitive (he moved in with her a month after we split up before our divorce was final), it felt weird that she wasn't there. If she would have just INSISTED and not tolerated it and made it about her, I would have been pissed and not wanted her there. But because it is about the children and she is important to my kids, I actually have been planning my youngest son's third birthday party with her.

Bottom line: It is about the child.



Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.








bearsbabies
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:53 PM
It doesn't sound like dad was very involved. He gave her a rental amd money. I would want to talk those things out with my husband as well. What if she wanted to decorate the car with writing on the windows or a small cooler with road trip goodies and a map. If theu have same bank accounts that should be discussed and if they have separate bank accounts it should still be discussed, what if ahe wanted to chip in and upgrade the vehicle so she could be involved. Just sayin...


Quoting NDADanceMom:

LOL you don't want to be involved in celebrating? You just want to be sure he didn't spend too much! I would leave you out too.



Quoting Favourofgod:

She just turned 22 years old. She dont talk to me


We have been married for 4 1/2 years. Her dad


rented her a car and gave her some


money. I was feeling left out cause


he didnt share what kind of car, how


much money, etc. She dont like me


cause I wont let her drive my car


anymore.

Wicked.Jester
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry, I am not going to understand this one.  If one of my SS wanted a day alone with their Dad....or if any of my children did for that matter, I would not be threatened by that.

You sound really insecure and controlling.

Quoting Nickie76:

Simply because that would be the only other celebration going on is w/ their BM. There would be no reason for DH to exclude myself or any of the other kids. This would especially be unfair seeing as there are 11 kids and two sets of multiples. Not everyone's situation is the same.

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

What does the BM have to do with it if the kids want a day with their father that doesn't include you?


Quoting Nickie76:

No actually BM is a scumbag and its ALL about her. I don't tolerate alcohol & pot at a children's b-day day party it's about being an adult. If you people support that then so be it. My step kids are fine w/ our arrangements.



Quoting Wicked.Jester:

You wouldnt tolerate it huh?

Even if its what the child wanted?

I guess their birthdays are all about you.

Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.




Nickie76
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:57 PM
Lmfao and you sound like a bitch who obviously can't read :)

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

Sorry, I am not going to understand this one.  If one of my SS wanted a day alone with their Dad....or if any of my children did for that matter, I would not be threatened by that.

You sound really insecure and controlling.

Quoting Nickie76:

Simply because that would be the only other celebration going on is w/ their BM. There would be no reason for DH to exclude myself or any of the other kids. This would especially be unfair seeing as there are 11 kids and two sets of multiples. Not everyone's situation is the same.



Quoting Wicked.Jester:

What does the BM have to do with it if the kids want a day with their father that doesn't include you?


Quoting Nickie76:

No actually BM is a scumbag and its ALL about her. I don't tolerate alcohol & pot at a children's b-day day party it's about being an adult. If you people support that then so be it. My step kids are fine w/ our arrangements.





Quoting Wicked.Jester:

You wouldnt tolerate it huh?

Even if its what the child wanted?

I guess their birthdays are all about you.

Quoting Nickie76:

I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.




Nickie76
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 3:03 PM
I would totally be OK w/ DH taking his kids out for they're bdays. What I've replied had nothing to do w/ anything but pointing out that all situations are different. Some people are narrow minded idiots and have no clue what goes on in different house holds.
Wicked.Jester
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 3:05 PM

So beause I don't agree with you I cannot read?

Yep, insecure.

Quoting Nickie76:

Lmfao and you sound like a bitch who obviously can't read :)

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

Sorry, I am not going to understand this one.  If one of my SS wanted a day alone with their Dad....or if any of my children did for that matter, I would not be threatened by that.

You sound really insecure and controlling.

Quoting Nickie76:

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