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New Name and deciding if I should add another baby?

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:31 AM
  • 25 Replies
I haven't been on cafemom in a long time! I decided to change my name and make a new account and start fresh and new :)

As of right now I have 3 children ages 5, 2, and my daughter will be 1 at the end of October. My husband is the biological father of my youngest and he wants another child. When we started dating I had my two boys from my ex who decided he didn't want his kids anymore. I don't blame my husband for wanting more kids, in the back of my mind I would like another with him as well. I'm just scared! I've gotten used to life with my 3 I'm scared adding a 4th will make things overwhelming, too overwhelming..

My husband will be starting a construction job soon making wonderful money so financially we will be okay and we plan on moving this winter to a bigger home with more space that's another up side...

Anyone with 4 or more children want to give me some straight up no sugar coated advice on adding a 4th child to the mix? How long should we wait or not wait, just honest advice :)

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:31 AM
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by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:34 AM
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I have 4 and honestly for me it wasn't much different than having 3 other than trying to figure out seating in the vehicle until we got one that fits all of them lol.

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:34 AM
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In your situation, I would have another. If you can afford it and your husband is a supportive, loving father and partner, it would be great to create another life out if love and add to your family.

We are stopping at two because that is all we can afford, but I would want a large family if money was no object.
by Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:53 AM
When we had our first together money was okay we didnt struggle and that made things pretty easy, the kids always have what they need. With this new job he won't be home as much only on the weekends which is okay so I will be home with the kids, my oldest is in school right now. We would be able to afford it it's just that initial leap going to another member of the family lol, am I mentally prepared? Lol! Right now I'm pretty comfortable I'm hoping the 4th won't be much a difference for me already having 3. And with my husbands new job I will be able to stay home with them while he's working as well. It all fits together it's just the thought that scares me a little! Lol juggling 4 :)
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by Sapphire Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:13 AM

Welcome back,
Good luck & hope you do go for that fourth :)

by Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Thank you! :) my husband is over the moon with the idea of a fourth I've seriously been considering lol! Keep thinking about stopping the safety method and just going for it :) I would LOVE to have another girl for my daughter to have a sister to grow up with, if that's the case I will be done having kids, 2 boys and 2 girls would be wonderful :)
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:40 AM
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I have a friend who has 6! Yes, 6... she says if you can do 2 you can do 10! Remember the mayhem created just adding a 2nd child... by time you master that you can master a herd! Lol
Really, its about if you are ready. After my 2 I needed a pause. Plus life turned upside down for us in many ways shortly after having my 2nd. When he was a yr old dh got hurt on the job the same time the home we were renting got foreclosed on! (Yes I was a victim of that crap!) So I had to go back to work at the same time I had gotten my ducks lined up to go back to college. Plus moving & all the trimmings! Money was tight w the main bread winner laid up injured & he had to learn to be a stay-home-daddy...that had some interesting moments! So I was on baby making break even tho I knew I wanted more...just not at that time. I had the 5yr iud put in, bc pills didn't work well for me, and I was officially on pause for 5 yrs.
Got iud out this yr ;)
Now I'm ready ;)
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:42 AM
4+college funds....weddings cars..... no thanks.. I have one so glad I married a man that didn't want kids
by Freebirther on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Hello and welcome back. I say that if you both want another, and feel its a good time, go for it. I'm on my 9th. My last 5 are all 15-18 months apart. I think it's a fun age difference.

Here are my two youngest. :)
by Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:56 AM
Oh wow!! See my husband has 11 brothers and sisters lol! He comes from a large family but luckily he doesn't want that many! Lol he just wants one more at least for now lol I think I will be done at 4 there's no way I can do 12! Haha! But that's what I figured 3 was the big transition for me I think the 4th wouldn't be too bad :) I've pretty much mastered juggling them throughout the day :) the boys play together very nicely and my daughter is just alone I would love one close to her age and hopefully a sister :) I've always wanted a sister but never had one :)
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:17 PM

I honestly just gave my husband a talk. If we wanted four it had to be within these next 3 years. After the 3 years no more kids for me. We can afford it we are stable we have a home. Its totally up to you of course, but if you both are thinking about it go for it.

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