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Stepson

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:32 PM
  • 10 Replies
My 1.5 step son is so mean to me just don't know what I'm doing wrong
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:36 PM
1 mom liked this

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:39 PM

1 and a half years?  Be firm and consistent.  Show him love, but remember that you are his step mom, not his friend. It is his age.  Be sure to have fun times together. Give him extra attention if there is a jealousy problem.

or do you mean 15 years?  Be firm and consistent. Show him love, but remember that you are his step mom and not his friend. The teens are a really hard age, both for the teen and for the parents/ step parents.  At this age he is torn between wanting to still be a child but feeling that he is an adult.

RADmomma
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:40 PM
I agree.

Try to be fun but fair & consistent as well.

Also remember that if he is getting bounced between mom & dad... And you, that a lot for him to understand!!! Be patient & don't take it personal


Quoting frndlyfn:

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Shoot what if she meant 1 and half step sons.  What then?  ha ha.....  I like your advice for both ages.

Quoting Bmat:

1 and a half years?  Be firm and consistent.  Show him love, but remember that you are his step mom, not his friend. It is his age.  Be sure to have fun times together. Give him extra attention if there is a jealousy problem.

or do you mean 15 years?  Be firm and consistent. Show him love, but remember that you are his step mom and not his friend. The teens are a really hard age, both for the teen and for the parents/ step parents.  At this age he is torn between wanting to still be a child but feeling that he is an adult.


mila20
by Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Year and a half and his mother past so I'm trying be patient to his adjusted being with us all the time he knows me been around him since he was a baby and I do I have 2 my own


Quoting RADmomma:

I agree.



Try to be fun but fair & consistent as well.



Also remember that if he is getting bounced between mom & dad... And you, that a lot for him to understand!!! Be patient & don't take it personal




Quoting frndlyfn:

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors



frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this

oh man a grieving toddler could be even harder to communicate (him, not you) what is going on.   I could not imagine the confusion and pain he feels.

RADmomma
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:14 AM
Oh wow.

If she passed recently...His whole life is turned upside down. He is dealing with emotions and he doesn't know how to express himself. He is probably so confused about his mom

He wants his mom. Doesn't understand where she is, why he cants see her.... And your the person who is replacing her in his eyes. So I'm not surprised his emotions are being put on you.

All you can do is offer love. Lots & lots of love. Keep as much of his environment (rules & expectations, schedule & routine) the same as its been since before she passed. That will help him feel secure! Stay fair & consistent with rules. Be patient & know that at a year & a half..., he's still learning how he feels


Quoting mila20:

Year and a half and his mother past so I'm trying be patient to his adjusted being with us all the time he knows me been around him since he was a baby and I do I have 2 my own




Quoting RADmomma:

I agree.





Try to be fun but fair & consistent as well.





Also remember that if he is getting bounced between mom & dad... And you, that a lot for him to understand!!! Be patient & don't take it personal






Quoting frndlyfn:

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors



mila20
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:44 AM
I know all I do offer love when comes to dido line and bathing or bed time I leave that for his father to handle


Quoting RADmomma:

Oh wow.



If she passed recently...His whole life is turned upside down. He is dealing with emotions and he doesn't know how to express himself. He is probably so confused about his mom



He wants his mom. Doesn't understand where she is, why he cants see her.... And your the person who is replacing her in his eyes. So I'm not surprised his emotions are being put on you.



All you can do is offer love. Lots & lots of love. Keep as much of his environment (rules & expectations, schedule & routine) the same as its been since before she passed. That will help him feel secure! Stay fair & consistent with rules. Be patient & know that at a year & a half..., he's still learning how he feels




Quoting mila20:

Year and a half and his mother past so I'm trying be patient to his adjusted being with us all the time he knows me been around him since he was a baby and I do I have 2 my own






Quoting RADmomma:

I agree.







Try to be fun but fair & consistent as well.







Also remember that if he is getting bounced between mom & dad... And you, that a lot for him to understand!!! Be patient & don't take it personal








Quoting frndlyfn:

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors




Bmat
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 7:50 AM

Love and attention are all I can come up with.  Be firm in your enforcement of your rules, even so. He probably feels very out of control and needs to find his boundaries.

Quoting mila20:

Year and a half and his mother past so I'm trying be patient to his adjusted being with us all the time he knows me been around him since he was a baby and I do I have 2 my own


Quoting RADmomma:

I agree.



Try to be fun but fair & consistent as well.



Also remember that if he is getting bounced between mom & dad... And you, that a lot for him to understand!!! Be patient & don't take it personal




Quoting frndlyfn:

1.5 yrs old?  Do you have any of your own children?    Alot of toddlers can go through a mean phase and as parents you need to be firm about the boundaries and how to approach the misbehaviors




ramita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:52 AM
I like the advice of all the others, but I'd throw in there to visit a counselor and get some advice on what you can do to help him. I'm not sure what other than love that you can do for one so little.
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