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Where to begin??

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:38 PM
  • 6 Replies
Hi. I'm Lynn, divorced , age 46. I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend for almost a year and he has a 12 year old son with severe non verbal autism. He also has a 13 year old daughter who is wonderful with her brother. I have a 14 year old son and 11 year old daughter.

I have no idea how to connect with his son or how to help my boyfriend when his son has terrible meltdowns. I don't understand the condition and don't know where to start to learn about it. I love my boyfriend very much and want to understand but have been overwhelmed by the info on the web. Thanks for any advice on getting started to understand this would be so helpful. Thanks so much !!
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:38 PM
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Replies (1-6):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:46 PM

There are tons of books on autism.  Some written by adults with autism and how they coped growing up.   I think that just being there for him to vent to or blow off steam on the more frustrating days is very important.   Just ask him questions on how to become a steadier influence in the childs life.

RADmomma
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:56 PM
There's a group here from moms with kids on the spectrum.... I would start there.
hugss
by Emerald Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 12:11 AM

Welcoem to CafeMom,
Maybe just read a little bit now & then so you don't feel overwhelmed ..
Also here is a group here that may help too :)


LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:32 AM

Hi! It will take some time but as you get used to him, things may ease up a little. Talk to your BF and his daughter. Ask questions, look for support from them. They will see you trying and begin to point out behaviors that come with his autism. Good luck! The Autism group someone linked you to, has a ton of information!


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amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:51 PM

Welcome!

I think right now, talking to your boyfriend would be the first step.  Ask him what sort of support you can give to him with regard to his son.  Ask him questions about how best to get to know the child, etc.

ScrChk23
by Amanda on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:45 PM

Have you checked out the Autism group here on CM?  I have heard wonderful things about it!  Does he see a doctor regularly?  Maybe the dr would have ideas on how to connect with him.  Or ask your BF's daughter how she connects with him.  Nice to have you in the group!

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