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Teen Friend Advice PLEASE. HELP

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 6:29 AM
  • 12 Replies

How involved do you get.....my daughter has a "friend" that she has knownn for about 4yrs and they haven't been getting along for a few months now. Well the young lady decided they would not be friends and approached my daughter to let her know and said hurtful things to her....offensive things. Do I say something to the parents...I was very surprised by their conversation & how this young lady acted....

by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 6:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pnukey
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 7:39 AM

No. They are teens and need to work this out on their own. It's a good time for them to learn how to handle disappointment. 

LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:35 AM

Unfortunately troubles with friends is something your daughter will have to deal with all through school. Talk to her to see why the friend reacted that way. ASk leading questions to see what happened but don't judge. Give her support on how to handle these type of situations, but as Moms all we can do is watch unless things get bad. Then I would go to teachers, principals and see what they are seeing also.


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funhappymom
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:09 AM


Quoting Pnukey:

No. They are teens and need to work this out on their own. It's a good time for them to learn how to handle disappointment. 

I agree with this. As hard as it is to watch our children hurt, it's so beneficial to them to learn how to deal with that hurt and disappointment without us interferring. Being there for her to talk to is very helpful though.


heather77g
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:12 AM

I wouldn't say anything at this time. I would talk to my daughter though (make sure she knows your there for her) and help her know this is a learning process to handle disappointment, and having to move on.   Now one thing though, especially since mean things were said... I would keep an eye on my daughter and make sure that nothing turns to drastic like bullying, or other forms of embarrasement through online or public events.


(hugs) All you can really do right now is be there for your daughter. 

sburger315
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:18 AM

depending on what the "friend" said I would say something to the parents.

When I was in high school I had a "friend" who no longer wanted to be friends. She began calling my home phone leaving nasty messages threatening to beat me up and that she knows where I live. At school the girl then starting harrassing me, throwing food at me during lunch and taunting me in the hall ways. She ended up friending some cruel people who were telling her to do these things and of course she wanted to impress them.

babie113
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
No leave it be. This is an important learning curve.
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NDADanceMom
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM

No.  It just raises the drama.  one of the girls my daughter dances with is rude to her.  Stupid things like most of the class wears canvas ballet slippers.  My daughter wears leather ones.  The leather ones are more expensive and what was required last year for the end of year recital.  they still fit my daughter so its what she wears, I didnt go out and just buy the most expensive pair for fun.  this year its canvas slippers but recital isnt till june and because she is growing still I decided to wait to buy the canvas ones.  this little girl keeps saying how the leather ones are ugly.  honestly they look pretty much the same right now but in a few months those canvas ones will look like crap!  Why the little girl feels the need to sit in warm up and ask the class if they agree the leather ones are ugly is beyond me.  I nearly said something to the mom about the constant picking but I decided it would just bring dance mom drama and i am just ignoring it. 

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by Emerald Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I agree with this ;)

Quoting Pnukey:

No. They are teens and need to work this out on their own. It's a good time for them to learn how to handle disappointment. 


Pnukey
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

That's terrible harassment! Did her parents do anything? Did the police have to get involved?

Quoting sburger315:

depending on what the "friend" said I would say something to the parents.

When I was in high school I had a "friend" who no longer wanted to be friends. She began calling my home phone leaving nasty messages threatening to beat me up and that she knows where I live. At school the girl then starting harrassing me, throwing food at me during lunch and taunting me in the hall ways. She ended up friending some cruel people who were telling her to do these things and of course she wanted to impress them.


sburger315
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Her parents didn't do a damn thing. Her dad was a drunk who was in jail and her mom was a druggie that was never home. So looking at it now I can see where she gained this attitude but it still wasn't right. My mother did call the school and the princible alerted the teachers so they could "keep an eye on me". Police weren't involved but my mother did threaten because she recorded all phone calls/messages from this "friend". She eventually stopped but it's the one thing that comes to my mind when I think back to high school...sad.

Quoting Pnukey:

That's terrible harassment! Did her parents do anything? Did the police have to get involved?

Quoting sburger315:

depending on what the "friend" said I would say something to the parents.

When I was in high school I had a "friend" who no longer wanted to be friends. She began calling my home phone leaving nasty messages threatening to beat me up and that she knows where I live. At school the girl then starting harrassing me, throwing food at me during lunch and taunting me in the hall ways. She ended up friending some cruel people who were telling her to do these things and of course she wanted to impress them.



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