Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Would you forgive (or expect forgiveness) if there was cheating going on in your marriage?

Posted by   + Show Post

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Cheating Shouldn't Ruin a Marriage

by Michele Zipp

gwyneth paltrow familyWe have to hand it to Gwyneth Paltrow even though it pains some of us to do so. The woman is making her marriage to Chris Martin work and she's making it look easy. We should remember that this is a couple who chose the names Apple and Moses for their kids -- if they can agree on that, they can agree on anything.

Apparently Gwyneth would also forgive her husband of 10 years if he cheated on her. And she expects he would do the same. Cheating shouldn't ruin a marriage, she thinks. And I agree with her.

Cheating, oftentimes, is a symptom of a problem. There has to be something huge going wrong for a person to cheat. So it's not necessarily the act of cheating that ends a marriage, it could be the culmination of all the other issues with the cheating being the cherry on top. Bad description, I know. Nothing sweet about it. It's all horrible -- cheating, marriages ending, love lost. Which is why when couples can make it work -- truly make it work and be truly happy -- that's an art. An art Gwyneth and Chris have seemed to master so far.

On cheating, Gwyneth said, "No couple is the same, and as such, every couple takes on different challenges. I would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven, but I can’t give an honest answer as I haven’t really experienced that." She also said that if Chris cheated on her, she'd want to know right away and not years later. I have to agree with her again there. What is this world coming to? I'm agreeing with Gwyneth!

Cheating happens sometimes because people screw up all the time. You can say that shows there isn't enough commitment in the relationship, but breaking up after cheating also shows that the couple can't stick it out through thick and thin or as we vow "in good times and in bad."

As with anything ... it always depends.

What do you think? Would you forgive (or expect forgiveness) if there was cheating going on in your marriage?

by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:09 AM
Replies (21-30):
grownupkidsmom
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 5:25 PM

Cheating is definitely a deal breaker for me!  Marriage is not only a commitment, it is a contract!  Dating is another subject, unless you have decided to date each other exclusively; then it has become a commitment. 

People cheat for all sorts of reasons, but you have to ask yourself this question:  Is it a reason or is it an excuse?  Cheating in a marriage is an excuse; why get married if you're prone to cheat? 

I was a military wife and my husband was on an aircraft carrier and during the Gulf War he was gone for 11-months.  Did I cheat?  NO, I did not.  Was there temptation?  Of course there was; it's every where!  If you act on the temptation, then you really have to analyze your relationship.  You have to know yourself and your spouse.  People living together, without that little piece of paper; it is still cheating, and leaving is easier, because in some states, common law relationships are not recognized. 

You have to determine your self worth. 

RaisinGirl78
by Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 6:10 PM

Cheating is a deal breaker for my df & I. We both know we would never trust each other again. 

ashybaby87
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 11:29 PM

Sorry, cheating would end it. I would lose the trust and without trust there wouldn't be much of a relationship. It'd be hard to move on but I also don't want to have to question if my husband is at work or if he's running late because he's cheating. He can do all the bending over backwards he wants to make it up, but I'd never honestly get over it and be able to move on from it.

catlover792
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 11:46 PM

 


Quoting RaisinGirl78:

Cheating is a deal breaker for my df & I. We both know we would never trust each other agaian

 

I would be done !

Melissavh
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 7:59 AM
Done and done.....
momdoes
by Platinum Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:06 AM

One must ask is a symptom of a bigger problem (the cheating) or is IT the problem? If I mean that little to my husband for him to cheat on me instead of being stronger and coming to me first, then the problem was always there. While it would destroy my marriage to him, I would forgive him after our divorce, but never forget or go back.

LaffItUpFzbl
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:11 AM

Cheating is a deal breaker for several reasons. 1) There may not be ANYTHING wrong. When my first husband cheated on me, he admitted that he only did it because he wanted to. We didn't have any issues with our marriage until he decided to start cheating, then would not stop. 2) Sometimes you can forgive the cheating, start to work on the marriage, then it happens AGAIN because the cheater just won't stop cheating. 3) VD's are a huge reason to end a marriage for cheating. People who cheat are likely to not use protection because they're already throwing caution to the wind. I'm lucky the only VD I ever got from my ex was crabs. Could have been much, much worse. 

border7305
by Bronze Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:59 AM
NO!! Never, Trust is a big part of a Relationship.. :)
MrsCarnes88
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 9:18 AM
I think it depends on the circumstances.. a one time mistake one night stand whatever may be forgiven May.... an ongoing affair sexual or emotional no I would want a divorce...but then again I dont know I havent been put in that situation and hope I never am
preciouschild
by Sam on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:37 PM

I think if he can stop and you can work on it then work on it especially if you have children ppl get divorced to easily these days. Just think of all our parents or grandparents went through to be married for 40-50 years.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN