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Would you forgive (or expect forgiveness) if there was cheating going on in your marriage?

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Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Cheating Shouldn't Ruin a Marriage

by Michele Zipp

gwyneth paltrow familyWe have to hand it to Gwyneth Paltrow even though it pains some of us to do so. The woman is making her marriage to Chris Martin work and she's making it look easy. We should remember that this is a couple who chose the names Apple and Moses for their kids -- if they can agree on that, they can agree on anything.

Apparently Gwyneth would also forgive her husband of 10 years if he cheated on her. And she expects he would do the same. Cheating shouldn't ruin a marriage, she thinks. And I agree with her.

Cheating, oftentimes, is a symptom of a problem. There has to be something huge going wrong for a person to cheat. So it's not necessarily the act of cheating that ends a marriage, it could be the culmination of all the other issues with the cheating being the cherry on top. Bad description, I know. Nothing sweet about it. It's all horrible -- cheating, marriages ending, love lost. Which is why when couples can make it work -- truly make it work and be truly happy -- that's an art. An art Gwyneth and Chris have seemed to master so far.

On cheating, Gwyneth said, "No couple is the same, and as such, every couple takes on different challenges. I would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven, but I can’t give an honest answer as I haven’t really experienced that." She also said that if Chris cheated on her, she'd want to know right away and not years later. I have to agree with her again there. What is this world coming to? I'm agreeing with Gwyneth!

Cheating happens sometimes because people screw up all the time. You can say that shows there isn't enough commitment in the relationship, but breaking up after cheating also shows that the couple can't stick it out through thick and thin or as we vow "in good times and in bad."

As with anything ... it always depends.

What do you think? Would you forgive (or expect forgiveness) if there was cheating going on in your marriage?

by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:09 AM
Replies (31-37):
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm with you... If its a one time thing and he came clean we would try to get past it... If it was becoming a habit ... Nope I couldn't handle that kind of pain again and again


Quoting mommyakabooby:

I think it depends on the circumstance. If you're able to get past it and Make the marriage work, then go for it. If the cheating party can stop cheating, then relationship is over. No sense degrading yourself like that. 


evilstepmomof4
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 2:52 PM

My hubby was on the verge of it. I caught him. .... Well actually I hacked his e-mail because he was all weird acting for months. He traveled for work now and again. I told him if he wants a divorce I'll give it to him. He freakout that I caught him and was willing to let go that easily. I told him I don't NEED a man in my life to make me feel whole. I like having a man in my life to enjoy it with and after all his debt was paid off that my name was attached to like the house and car and bills, he'd have nothing. I haven't forgave nor forgot and he knows it was wrong to THINK about doing that to me and our family.

PrimalMom
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I did forgive. It was hard and I'm grateful it didn't go as far as others I have heard of but this article said it right, there were already problems and it was sort of like the cherry on top. For my heart I was able to wrap it all in one big bundle and work it out. The big D word had already been used so we knew things weren't fantastic at the time. Had I thought our marriage was great and he cheated that would have devastated me uncontrollably. ....This was years ago and we can both talk about it with honesty. He exalts me for working it out with him and swears it was the dumbest thing he ever did.

I don't think I would want forgiveness. Call me naive but I can't see myself cheating. I know what I have with my husband and I want it. If I didn't want it I just wouldn't stay in the relationship. Sort of like he thought he wanted a different life and it just all rolled into one. 

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa :) on Sep. 28, 2013 at 3:40 AM

 cheating is a deal breaker for me as well!!

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Sep. 28, 2013 at 7:02 AM

 I would more than likely forgive, I married for better or for worse and if there is cheating going on in a longtime marriage, suddenly, then there is an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with.  I would never cheat, it's not who I am, so I will never require forgiveness.

jaycam
by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 1:26 PM

No I wouldn't fogive it. My exDH cheated on me all the time and after the first time I forgave him and tried working things out it back fired in my face so no I would be gone if I found out my DH now was cheating on me and he would do the same. We both have been there done it and I don't think after you go outside of your marriage for sex that it is a easy thing to get over. Those trust issues are always going to be a problem.

jconney80
by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 8:25 PM

I think it depends

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