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I have been a housewife for seven years, I just started working again about a month ago while the kids are in school. On my dh days off I can do full shifts and on the weekends my brother can watch them so I have been avareging 33-40 hours a week. When I was a housewife my house was awesome (not perfect) and dinner was on time most nights. Now that I am working I am finding it hard to balance housework, home work, and work . My house isn't a full on call cps disaster (although sometimes I feel that way) its messy, I have fallen behind on laundry a few times and my living room has toys all over it. By the time I am done helping three kids with homework and dinner even started its 630/7pm haven't had a chance to unwind, really clean anything, and bed times suppose to be at 8pm. It's just been all so overwhelming that I have been feeling like a horrible mother and wife because I haven't been able to pull all this together by now. I don't get it, how do you guys do it. I am sitting here about ready to cry because I feel like such a failure.
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:03 PM
Replies (11-20):
kaydence0207
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:44 PM

Routine is key. I go to work fulltime and take online classes as well which take another 12 hours out of my week at least. I make sure my daughter participates in chores. I don't go to bed with a dirty house, which means after homework is done (mine not hers) I am ususally going to bed about 1am, but I would rather lose some sleep than have a messy house. Have the kids do their own sorting and laundry folding, if they are in school then they are old enough. Give a chore list everyday. Keep up with messes as they are made. Oh and I am also 31 weeks pregnant so everything is taking me a little longer and is becomnig a little harder to do but I manage. Being a working mom is much harder than staying at home, but you can do it!!

Tammywhynot
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Would u like to have a word with my kids..lol

Quoting happymommy1105:

it's called making them help

kids pick up after themselves.

dh picks up after himself. 

it's a team effort. 

it doesn't all get done by 1 person. 

in our house- i stay at home and i still don't do it all alone- I am 1 person, I am NOT about to clean up behind 4 other people who are perfectly capable!

kaydence0207
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:48 PM

Also, you may want to make a rule, if it's left in the common area (living room, dining room, kitchen) it goes into a bucket and they have to do an EXTRA chore (on top of the ones that you should be appointing them) in order to earn said toy back. It works wonders!!

Hadadat
by on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:51 PM

Totally not a failure. It's an adjustment. See if there are some rules you can put in place to haelp get the kids involved in the pick up. My son, 7, has a job to sort the laundry (there are signs on the wall telling him what goes into what basket) and he has to pick up all his toys from the living room before bed. Anything left behind gets donated.

I plan my meals Saturday and then prep them Sunday. lots of freezer meals for the crock pot or easy one pan meals like chili. My DH does the trash and dishes and we both pitch in with homework.

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 5:54 PM

What works the best in my house is--- I take whatever you didn't put away! You have to earn it back.  I don't care if it's your favorite blanket you sleep with, your underwear, your toys, whatever- if you failed to do your part, then you get to do extra to earn it back. 

Quoting Tammywhynot:

Would u like to have a word with my kids..lol

Quoting happymommy1105:

it's called making them help

kids pick up after themselves.

dh picks up after himself. 

it's a team effort. 

it doesn't all get done by 1 person. 

in our house- i stay at home and i still don't do it all alone- I am 1 person, I am NOT about to clean up behind 4 other people who are perfectly capable!


notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Oct. 3, 2013 at 8:26 AM

make out a schedule, if your kids are old enough for homework they are old enough for chores, does your dh help out at all?

NDADanceMom
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 Who is messing it up and why?  My house stays pretty clean all the time because who ever is able to take things out obviously can put them back.  If a kid is old enough to drag out cars they are old enough to drag them back.  If a parent is taking things out they can put something back before taking the next thing out.  My kids were allowed one toy at a time, they had to put back the old one before getting a new one. 

Clothes?  In the hamper and I bought one that sorted darks, whites and brights.  Even a 3 year old can be taught to sort.  When one compartment was full I threw it in the wash.  I never let it pile up. I  plan meals so that there isnt much prep for weekday meals.  A roast in the crock pot takes 10 minutes of prep.  If I want stir fry I cut things up on sunday and get the meat in the marinade that day too.  The next day I can whip up my stirfry in the time it takes to boil the rice. 

RADmomma
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:32 AM

 im a sahm so I am not help. But it takes time to get into a good routine.

lenashark
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:37 AM

How old are your kids? If they are old enough to do homework, they are old enough to clean up their own toys and help around the house. Laundry is something that you can double task with since you can just throw in a load, go work on something else, and then come back to it when its done. Do a little everyday, clean up things as you go, so it doesn't end up building up and getting overwhelming.

AydensMommy1008
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:39 AM

Ive worked 2 jobs and took care of my son as a single mother, then I got with my current bf 3 yrs ago and Ive been a SAHM since.
Your husband should be pitching in now that you arent home and helping keep the house clean and get the house chores done. He should understand that you are not in the home now as much and shouldnt have a problem helping out. I ask my bf to still do things sometimes and Im a SAHM now, but bc theres 4 kids here fulltime and 2 that come for visitation, he has 5 kids and I have 1 I feel its only fair for him to help out when he's home.

It is very hard to juggle work and parenting. You just have to keeep adjusting til you find a schedule that works for you guys. Like what shifts are you working? Maybe it'd be better if you had different shifts/days off? On my days off I used it to catch up on laundry when it was just me and my son, but now I have a basket and a 1/2 of clothes nearly everyday so I do clothes every night.  You just have to get a plan together for when you get off and what needs done, you can break your cleaning down to diff days.. it just takes time to get used to it. Youll be okay, just hang in there. And seriously, talk to your husband about how you feel, he really should be helping if he is not..

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