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I have been a housewife for seven years, I just started working again about a month ago while the kids are in school. On my dh days off I can do full shifts and on the weekends my brother can watch them so I have been avareging 33-40 hours a week. When I was a housewife my house was awesome (not perfect) and dinner was on time most nights. Now that I am working I am finding it hard to balance housework, home work, and work . My house isn't a full on call cps disaster (although sometimes I feel that way) its messy, I have fallen behind on laundry a few times and my living room has toys all over it. By the time I am done helping three kids with homework and dinner even started its 630/7pm haven't had a chance to unwind, really clean anything, and bed times suppose to be at 8pm. It's just been all so overwhelming that I have been feeling like a horrible mother and wife because I haven't been able to pull all this together by now. I don't get it, how do you guys do it. I am sitting here about ready to cry because I feel like such a failure.
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:03 PM
Replies (21-30):
KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:48 AM

you will find a rhythm that works for you! I have been back to work for almost 2 years and it was difficult at first to get a routine but it does happen.

Crock-pot meals are your friend ;P I stick to easy meals on the weekdays.

I try to clean up behind myself as best I can, clean the kitchen nightly and take one night a week to focus on re cleaning common rooms and  then clean every room on the weekends.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:58 AM

It is tough to juggle everything

ScrChk23
by Amanda on Oct. 3, 2013 at 11:22 AM

It is not easy.  Your family will have to step in and help out with meals , housework, and homework.

TrishyyKat
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 11:26 AM

It's just something you have to get used to! Not a failure at all! I know when I went back to work my house was so messy, I couldn't seem to get any housework done and the kids always just messed it up right back again! I agree with chores, maybe start a chore chart with rewards for finished chores? Also pick a day when you are off work and choose that time to catch up on laundry and other housework you can't do when you are working. I will get easier!

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momngram
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:37 PM

You will find a rhythm soon.  Its a huge adjustment from sahm and working mom. Does your dh help?  Are the kids old enough to help out?

MommmaBeee
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:40 PM

You adjust.. You will get it momma until then dont put to much stress on yourself..

Musama
by Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:49 AM
It is not easy to run a home and be a worker,i used to experience the same when i just started working.My working hours are from 6am to 6pm for 21 days then i go for 7 days off, it was difficult so i got a house help to look after my two daughters and do some house chores,then i spoke with my husband to help out like by putting things exactly where he found them after using,then all i do is cook dinner and do little house chores until i start my break.It has really helped me a lot.
kellysp6637
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:17 AM

 I hear you....I work between 44-50 hours per week.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful dh who helps around the house and likes to cook...but he too works full time.....together we manage to keep the house organized and clean....my kids are also 18 and 10 so they are old enough to pick up after themselves.....When I began full time again, (about 9 years ago) it took me some time to get adjusted.  Now, I can find the time to work and go to the PTA meetings, school committee meetings, volunteer twice a month at my dd's elementary school, help with homework, take her to soccer, horseback and clarinet lessons, dentist appointments and doctor appointments.

We are always on the go....not necessarily a bad thing. 

Don't feel like a failure....you'll adjust and do fine.

*Like another said...use crockpots for some dinners

*make meals on weekends so you can reheat during week

*include your kids in housework they can do...putting away their own clothes (even if it isn't perfect), making their own beds.  This will alleviate some duties off your to do list, but also make them feel pride in their own contributions

*strategize with your dh about how the two of you can make this happen together....afterall, you guys are a team. 

*plan ahead for as much as possible....buy b day cards in advance and put them in a special file folder that separates by month...so you never have to forget a special day for a relative/friend...because you'll already have them in your file.

*Use a calendar...often!  Write things down so you don't forget...particularly important school events....

*do atleast one load of laundry per day...this way it won't pile up and overwhelm you and consume your weekend.

 

You can do this!

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:21 AM
First of all, realize it will take you awhile to find a routine that works for you and your family. You'll only find it through trial and error and time. Be patient. My house gets pretty messy and I let it go. I straighten when I can and usually we'll do a better cleaning over the weekend. If we all pitch in, it gets done quicker.
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fudgybuddymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:27 AM

You are not a failure! It sounds like you are doing the best you can in a tough situation! My hat is off to you & other working mothers with multiple kids-I don't know how I would do if I had 3 or more kids & worked & have to keep the homefires burning as well as you seem to be!

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