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I have been a housewife for seven years, I just started working again about a month ago while the kids are in school. On my dh days off I can do full shifts and on the weekends my brother can watch them so I have been avareging 33-40 hours a week. When I was a housewife my house was awesome (not perfect) and dinner was on time most nights. Now that I am working I am finding it hard to balance housework, home work, and work . My house isn't a full on call cps disaster (although sometimes I feel that way) its messy, I have fallen behind on laundry a few times and my living room has toys all over it. By the time I am done helping three kids with homework and dinner even started its 630/7pm haven't had a chance to unwind, really clean anything, and bed times suppose to be at 8pm. It's just been all so overwhelming that I have been feeling like a horrible mother and wife because I haven't been able to pull all this together by now. I don't get it, how do you guys do it. I am sitting here about ready to cry because I feel like such a failure.
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:03 PM
Replies (31-36):
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:46 AM

That doesn't make you a failure. Try to get the husband to help out with housework. Get the kids involved; Reward them for helping out also. The housework shouldn't all fall on you. Set a routine and allow yourself time to adjust. Plan the meals ahead of time if you don't already, so that cooking can go by faster. Look specifically for quick recipes. If homework time isn't organized, try to organize it if at all possible to make it run smoother and faster. Example: Have kid 1 and kid 2 do homework that they find easy while you help kid 3 with difficult homework. By the time kid 3 is done with the hard homework and can do easy homework by himself, kid 1 will be done with the easy homework and can go clean up or something. kid 2 will be ready for help on the hard homework. Kid 3 (the one who's cleaning) can be assisted  with his hard homework after kid 2. And you can change who gets helped first and which kid has to clean every day so they have "turns". I don't know, just figure out a routine, as I said before. That's the first routine that popped into my head so it's rough. Best of luck. 

by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:59 AM
I live one day at a time. Ya, the house isn't perfect and the laundry isn't always done, but I just treasure every minute with my kids and catch up in everything when they're sleeping. Or they help
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Hire a cleaner and make sure DH and the kids pitch in with housework and cooking. Once you're working you are no longer expected to do it on your own. 

by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:33 PM

 YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE!!! When both parents work, the housework, cleaning, cooking, laundry not shoud be but NEED to be shared between both parents. You're only 1 person and can only get so much done. If your dh isn't helping, he needs to.

Give yourself time to adjust. Get into a routine, it'll take a while. And when your childrens' needs change your routine will. Take a deep breath and go with the flow.

Your children, won't remember that your kitchen floors were clean enough to eat off of. They'll remember you were there helping them with homework, going to games, recitals, or whatever other activity they participate in. If they're old enough, have them help out cleaning up their toys either while your start dinner or just before they go to bed.


by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:57 PM

you're not a failure! make a list and give everyone a set of chores that they have to do.

by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:32 PM

When I worked I couldn't do it all.  Many times the housework had to take a back seat so I could tend to the kids.  I mean, we still ate and had clean clothes and things like that.  But it didn't look as nice or put together as I can make it now that I'm not working.  Something had to give or I would have and that's never good.  So I had to focus on the basics and let lots of the niceties go.

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