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Two Ectopics can I have a "normal" pregnancy? How do I stop hurting.

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
  • 17 Replies

good morningI am not sure how I found myself on here but it feels as if I don't have anyone to talk to or who can understand and relate to what I am going through.  People say "I am so sorry, maybe next time", don't they understand that I don't feel better.  I have gone through the sadness and now I am angry, I am angry at god and I know I shouldn't be but I am.  I have two children from a previous marriage and I had done a tubal ligation in 2006 after I knew my marriage was doomed.  I met the man of my dreams, my soulmate and true love months after my marriage broke up and I felt that I would make an amazing mother with him as the father; after extensive research I did the reanastamosis in 2008 (very expensive) I was made aware of my risk for an ectopic but I thought they all tell you there are risks, what are the chances. 

I got pregnant in 2009 and was almost at the 4 month mark to meet my OB, it ruptured and I ended up in the emergency department- they saved my tube and claim to clean up the scar tissue, my report said my tubes were in remarkable condidtion.  What does that mean?  

I did not feel bothered so much.  Recently, I was pregnant and again we knew I was high risk so I was doing weekly blood tests and was told we had to wait at the 7 week mark for an ultrasound, the day of my ultrasound I was 8 weeks and had already fallen in love and started planning for our new arrival.  The lab told me we have good news an bad news, you are pregnant eight weeks with Cardiac Activity (heartbeat).  However it is in the wrong place.  I need you to go to the nearest emergency department and give them this report.  

I choked my tears until I got into my car and then that was it.  They managed to save my tubes again, and the surgeon was nice and said I have a 30% chance of recurrence but a 70% chance of a normal baby.  I have cried every day since they killed my baby, I am in a daze when I drive to work, yes I came back on Monday after having surgery last Tues.  

Can someone give me hope that they have had normal babies after two ectopics.  PS> I am 37 yrs old so my clock is also ticking.  My husband and I are usually very close but this time it feels that we have grown distant since our loss.  Please help me to stop crying.. ttc

by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
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by Emerald Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to CafeMom,
I am not sure but I hope others have some answers for you.
Hugs to you.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Here is a bump, hope someone can answer for u. :( (hugs)
sunpeaches1
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I have had 2 ectopics & 2 fetal demises but I also have 2 healthy boys born full term, natural conception & healthy pregs.
aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Oct. 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM

((Hugs))

brandie1470
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 1:59 PM
I am 27wks pregnant. My last pregnancy was tubal. I almost died from internal bleeding because the dr missed it. He tried to tell me it was a miscarriage.

I was angry at god. I lost my faith and was questioning everything. around feb I started looking into things again. My faith was restored. I decided to let god take control. I got pregnant on my anniversary. March 27. Around the time my tubal baby would have been born.

Anyway...i have pcos and 1 tube. It took me 9 months to get pregnant.

I hope you get a baby soon. If you really want it, dont give up. the odds were against me and here I am.
Hotelpro
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Dear Sunpeaches,

Did you have your two normal pregnancies after your two ectopics?  Why did you have ectopics?  I have had a reversal did you?


KayBeCareful
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, you can have a normal pregnancy after two ectopics. There are many women who have. There are also many women who have perfectly healthy babies when they are in their 40's. 

They did not kill your baby.  Your baby had no chance of surviving. What they did was save your life. Your husband is probably just trying to be strong for you and not show his sorrow at the loss. It's so very important to keep the lines of communication open in trying times. 

elasmimi
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 4:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with all of this, especially the part about they did not kill your baby. Just be glad they were able to save your life. I am so sorry for your loss, please check out our TTC group, and don't give up on God or your husband.

Quoting KayBeCareful:

Yes, you can have a normal pregnancy after two ectopics. There are many women who have. There are also many women who have perfectly healthy babies when they are in their 40's. 

They did not kill your baby.  Your baby had no chance of surviving. What they did was save your life. Your husband is probably just trying to be strong for you and not show his sorrow at the loss. It's so very important to keep the lines of communication open in trying times. 


momofblueeyes04
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 9:11 PM
Have faith and pray. I know its hard to see now but God is in control. Maybe for some God dosnt want you to become pregnant bc of the risks. Have you thoughtb of adoption
LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 8:56 AM


Hugs! I am sorry you are having trouble. Have you joined the Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support group?


Join us in the Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support group

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