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Help with a 13 year old

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 11:39 AM
  • 37 Replies
1 mom liked this
He has always been pretty responsible but lately started really slacking. I'm having to repeat myself a lot. This morning he couldn't find a hoodie. He has 5, turns out 4 have been left at school. 5th was dirty. I told him you need to be responsible and be bringing home your hoodies everyday. He got right in my face raising his voice to me saying "I AM RESPONSIBLE!" I told him you are not to get in my face and yell at me, bring me your ipod. He freaked out, throwing a huge fit saying "you and dad don't love me." As the fit went on his dad told him "you need to calm down." He's never yelled at me before. Do all teenagers try this? Was I too hard on him by taking it away?
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 11:39 AM
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X_Patriot_Mom_X
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 11:43 AM
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he's a teen you dont remember what it was like being a teen? Then again when i was a teen if i got in my mothers face i would have gotten knocked out soooo....Thanks to those life lessons I dont tend to talk ill toward my elders. My kid knows if she gets at me like that i'll knock her one. You're a hell of a lot nicer i wouldnt just take the ipod i'd sell all that shit on ebay. So no..dont feel bad...like i said you're a lot nicer then i am.

ashandryzmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 11:47 AM
I do remember what it was like as a teenager. I was horrible to my parents and never had any consequences or privledges taken away. I always have said I would not allow this to happen to me. He's our oldest and this was the first time so I was caught off guard and wasn't quite sure how to react.


Quoting X_Patriot_Mom_X:he's a teen you dont remember what it was like being a teen? Then again when i was a teen if i got in my mothers face i would have gotten knocked out soooo....Thanks to those life lessons I dont tend to talk ill toward my elders. My kid knows if she gets at me like that i'll knock her one. You're a hell of a lot nicer i wouldnt just take the ipod i'd sell all that shit on ebay. So no..dont feel bad...like i said you're a lot nicer then i am.
ashandryzmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 11:58 AM
No one else has experience with teenagers?
caligirl7613
by Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 12:38 PM
i would have taken the ipod and told him guess u will be cold on the way to school today since you cant be bothered to bring home your hoodie. n i dont care if it was 20 degrees out, he wouldnt have had a hoodie or coat on until he got to school and got one of the ones he left there
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Lukas
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 12:40 PM

My 13 year old Wolfgang can have outbursts, I am divorced from his father because he got violent and I think Wolfgang wants to control with scaring.  I tell him he looks like he's crazy when he does that and then he has to go outside, upstairs work it off.  He won't pick up alot or do homework and tries to get me to be responsible and I tell him, you are the one doing it not me. He gets computer taken away, silence, TV all with complete calm, he doesn't run show I do.

X_Patriot_Mom_X
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont blame you it sucks when you think "it aint gonna happen" and then its like right out of nowhere and you're standing there like "WTF just happened here" *hugs*


Quoting ashandryzmom:

I do remember what it was like as a teenager. I was horrible to my parents and never had any consequences or privledges taken away. I always have said I would not allow this to happen to me. He's our oldest and this was the first time so I was caught off guard and wasn't quite sure how to react.


Quoting X_Patriot_Mom_X:he's a teen you dont remember what it was like being a teen? Then again when i was a teen if i got in my mothers face i would have gotten knocked out soooo....Thanks to those life lessons I dont tend to talk ill toward my elders. My kid knows if she gets at me like that i'll knock her one. You're a hell of a lot nicer i wouldnt just take the ipod i'd sell all that shit on ebay. So no..dont feel bad...like i said you're a lot nicer then i am.



fudgybuddymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

No you were not too hard on him for taking it away! Mostlikely this is hormones raging but still in all you have to stop it now before it gets worse! Also talk to him when he is calmer & see if there is anything else that bothers him. It may not work but it will give you a sense of where he is at. Keep the punishments up cause he has to learn that I'm sorry will not cut it for behavior like this. When my 14 yr old Molly gets in my face I send her to her room so that I can think of an appropriate punishment for the behavior ususally not letting her go out with her friends helps the behavior to calm down.

Lovingtrust
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 1:35 PM
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I was a school counselor for 10 years working with teens.  I can say that often when teens are absent minded or overreactive about things, something is going on that is often kept to themselves.  Sometimes they don't understand that talking to someone will help.  You handled the situation as many parents do, which is totally normal.  Don't be upset at yourself, but use this opportunity to have a candid talk with him once things have calmed down a bit.  You often get a lot out of them once they are calm and know you are ready to listen to their concerns.  At this age, kids tend to talk more to their friends, but it never hurts to reach out to them and to set aside time to talk about how things are going at school, and even thoughts about life, the future, concerns, dreams, etc.  Good luck and keep up the great work in setting limits!  :)

indymom72
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

With my 13 year old the electronics are the first things to go.  She hasn't yelled in my face yet but I get tossed tons of attitude.  Hang in there, sounds like you're doing things right..teenagers are so hard!!  I often wonder where my sweet little girl went. haha

ashandryzmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 2:12 PM
He did go without a hoodie today.


Quoting caligirl7613:

i would have taken the ipod and told him guess u will be cold on the way to school today since you cant be bothered to bring home your hoodie. n i dont care if it was 20 degrees out, he wouldnt have had a hoodie or coat on until he got to school and got one of the ones he left there

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