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Got One Daughter Angry With Me. (UPDATE on post lower on this page)Turns out my dd really does have an obsessed ex girlfriend

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 1:03 AM
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this

  I'm sitting here right now so disappointed in my 15 1/2 yr. old daughter. Also knowing that she is very angry at me right now. I will have to start at the beginning.

  My 15 yr. old daughter started off High School this year(9th grader) loving school. About 2 wks. ago she comes to me and says mom I don't want to go back to school. I asked her why. She said her ex-girlfriend has a new girlfriend that is threatening her, and some other girls. My daughter is still friends with her ex. Apparently her ex's new girlfriend was threatening not only to hurt anyone that talked to my daughter's ex. But she also threatening to hurt my daughter's ex if anyone talked to her. As you can see where this is going. My daughter's ex-girl friend got involved in an abusive relationship. I immediately turned this all into the school. With even proof through some things that were said on FB.

  So my daughter's ex's new girlfriend was ordered to stay away from my daughter. As for the threats towards my daughter's ex girlfriend I told the school. I than told my daughter to stay out of it. That she is a minor and it is not her responsibility to protect her ex in this at all.

Well, here we are almost 2 weeks later and after me warning my dd's ex to keep her out of it again and again her ex told me that my daughter was the one refusing to stay out of it. She lied to me. She said she told my dd to stay out of it. Come to find out tonight she was dragging my daughter back into it. I found the proof on FB. She even was chatting on another site with my daughter that she has to use for school and that is all it is to be used for. She was chatting to her about the abusive girlfriend and my dd's ex was the one who kept on bringing the entire thing up.

This was all dragging my 15 yr. old dd  down. She has problems with anxiety, and depression as it is. So tonight I took my dd's Chrome Book she got to use from school and told her she will only use it for school work. Outside of school she will only be on it for school work and I will be present. All Social sites are blocked at their school except the one they use for school. I'm calling the school when they return to school on Tuesday to address the fact that personal issues should not be , being discussed on there at all. I changed my dd's FB password too so she can find no other way into it. She is grounded from all friends houses until farther notice too. I have good reason to not want my dd involved in all this. I have learned quiet a deal from her ex's girlfriend's one family member. Her ex's girlfriend has quiet a lot of mental issues and is refusing to take her meds. This girl has made threats towards her own family. I do not want her near my daughter or my daughter involved with her at all. We are trying to get my dd switched to a new school to also get her away from this. The ex's girlfriend is a 10th grader and has no classes with my daughter or any of the 9th graders I have learned. She has no reason to even be around 9th graders. The school has warned  my dd's ex's girlfriend to stay away from my dd. My dd and her ex are being watched during class and if they discuss this in class they will be told to stop it,

  Also there is a back story to the ex she is obviously obssessed with my dd. She tried to horn her way into our family and acts all crazy when my dd wants to ignore her. She also has sent me messages trying to get me to break my dd and her present girlfriend. I know her present girlfriend. I like her and actually think she is good for my daughter.

So tonight my DD's punishment became no more internet for now outside of school work, and grounded from friends for now. I left all her friends on FB know she is grounded. A few of them know what is going on and have messaged me saying they think what I did was good. That they agree this is messed up and my dd does not need to be part of this. They are fed up to with my dd's ex dragging her into this.

My dd is mad at me and started saying that it wasn't right for me to be checking her FB. She has always known I do. When she asked for one I told her on the condition I have all pass words. Just like I do with all sites for any of my minor children. She said you just don't trust me. Which was not true but now because my dd had also lied and said they don't chat about it anymore and tried to hide the other site from me. Not realizing I knew all about it. She had broken my trust when she was younger. But I gave her a chance to earn it back. I fully thought I could trust her. I don't anymore and it is her own fault. She could of blocked her ex on FB and ignored her in the other chat. She refused to respect my wishes and so did the other girl. They both have lost my trust. 

I have learned that my dd's ex's mom may not know what is going on either at least not all of it. I only met her mother twice I don't know what I should do in that case. Should I tell her or not. Our family has some other major things going on right now and so does not need this. My daughter has been depressed and mistreating everyone in the family do to her bad mood since this all started. You can respond if you want it is up to you. I know I did what was best for my daughter.

I have learned one thing through this and hope it may help a few other mom's do so too. My younger 2 will not be allowed to have FB or any other such social sites until 18. Not until they are responsible adults. They can use our home phone just like I did as a kid. Thank you for reading my vent.

PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR ELDEST DAUGHTER (20 yrs old) SHE IS GETTING A BIOPSY TO BE CHECKED FOR CANCER ON OCT. 15,2013pink ribbon

by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 1:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
terpmama
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 1:23 AM
I let ex's mom know what you know... If I were her id want to know so I could protect my kid.
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 2:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I would let the other mothers/parents know and then really keep my own child on a tight leash since she has broken the trust once again.  Remind her she is still a minor therefore under your rules of house.  You are trying to do the best for her given what is going on in the family and that the teen attitude of hurting others is no way appropriate.

jazzieel1
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 2:35 AM

I did tell my daughter that she broke my trust. She had it and she broke it. That she can blame no one but herself. That if she is going to behave this way it is proof the certain choices she is not ready to make. I explained to her very clearly what I meant by that. I also told her I know she thinks I'm being unfair and mean. But that someday she will understand and be thankful for me doing this. I told her I love her that I am just disappointed in her and her ex's behavior. I told her I am doing what is best for her matter if she likes it or not.

SissyAnn141
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting jazzieel1:

I did tell my daughter that she broke my trust. She had it and she broke it. That she can blame no one but herself. That if she is going to behave this way it is proof the certain choices she is not ready to make. I explained to her very clearly what I meant by that. I also told her I know she thinks I'm being unfair and mean. But that someday she will understand and be thankful for me doing this. I told her I love her that I am just disappointed in her and her ex's behavior. I told her I am doing what is best for her matter if she likes it or not.

 After speaking to her mom.

 I would have her DELETE ALL ACCOUNTS, IN FRONT OF ME.

   If "Homework" needs done on computer, it can be done in :

     Kitchen or living room.

SissyAnn141
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 3:46 AM

BUMP!

SissyAnn141
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 4:20 AM

 

       If this is NOT YOUR CHILD, TALK TO DAD.......

     Then let him decide to speak to mom or not.

    If you and her get along, maybe it is best you speak with her .

jazzieel1
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 7:05 AM

 

First off I never said she was not my child. Me and hubby have 5 children. He is all 5's dad and I am all 5's mom. I do not and neither does he have step children. As for the other girl, my dd's ex does not have any father in the picture at all. Hasn't for yrs. So what you are saying makes no sense, sorry.

Quoting SissyAnn141:

 

       If this is NOT YOUR CHILD, TALK TO DAD.......

     Then let him decide to speak to mom or not.

    If you and her get along, maybe it is best you speak with her .


 

jazzieel1
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:48 PM

An update on this situation:

My daughter came to me in the end begging me for help. This ex girl friend has now we believe become more of a danger. Also on top of it the school she goes to the way they are teaching her is not working. So together the school and I have decided it is time to switch my daughter to cyber school. I am feeling relieved. My daughter suffers from depression, anxiety, and mood swings. Basically the school district, her doctor, and us parents all agree that she is safer at home. Also with me being a stay at home mom and all the help her family and  some of my friends are offering she is better off at home. This ex of her's hopefully will get help. But she will no longer be my daughter's problem. I have her so blocked on the internet that my daughter can't figure out how to find her if she wanted to. And she came to me and begged me to get this girl out of her life. The girl tried to tell me she can chat, talk, and/or what ever she wants to when it comes to my daughter. The school warned her stay away from my daughter or we would be pressing charges. This girl has made statements that I myself heard saying that if she can not have my daughter no one can. The school said they have also made sure the mother is aware of everything going on with her dd. The mother apparently I have learned through other chats thinks something else is going on here. She seems to think her dd has been there for my dd. Which is far from the truth. She has no idea what this has done to my dd or the things her dd is putting my dd through.My daughter they are evaluating because she may a have a mild case of bipolar or something similar. She does not need this girl in her life and does not want her in her life. We all agree now she is better off at home. She has a strong support system set up now outside of school to help her. So starting Friday we start the process of signing her up for cyber school.

jazzieel1
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:47 PM

BUMP

jazzieel1
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

bump

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