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i have a 4 year old son and i am having some problems that i don't know how to deal with.  Where to start... First off one of my big issues is that he has this obsession with pulling my hair. It's not a confort thing anymore like I thought it was when he was a baby. Now it's all day everyday and that is how he wakes me up in the morning by grabbing a handful of my hair. It's not mommy get up, he just yanks my hair. I have been told that i could be an attention thing but i don't believe that it is because he still does it even when i am giving him attention.

The second big thing is the pushing, shoving and hitting. I have made calls ot his doctor but i am getting no response. It goes on all day every day. Anytime i try to sit down to take a minute to myself just to sit down or to calm myself when he is aggrivating me with the hair pulling or hitting, he either comes over and yanks my hair or he climbs on the chair behind me and either kicks me in the side or back or he jumps on my back. I only weigh 117 lbs. my son wieghs 37 he is a third of my body wieght. Having hium jumo on me like that really hurts or he grabs onto my shoulders and tries to shake me. He is a very strong kid i can't always ovrepower him to stop right away. I feel like i am yelling and screaming at him allday because i can't get him to stop unless i raise my voice, but that doesn't always work. We have tried time-out, corner time, and i am starting to take thinks away but i am getting very frustrated. I'm tired of my son using me as a punching bag. There is a differance between rough housing and just being mean .. and he is just being mean.

Any help would be appreciated!! We are having trouble getting him potty trained too he is just not showing any interest, should i force him.

 

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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by Ruby Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:46 PM

Welcome to the group,
sorry you are having to deal with this.
I do agree with the others in that sounds like it may be something else.
I hope your doctor can help.
Goo dluck :)

Peachy000
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this

He's 4 he may be a 3rd of your body weight but you are still stronger than him anude the adult, I don't wanna sound mean but stop with the screaming and shouting and set some ground rules with him. tell him absolutely no hair pulling hitting shouting or demanding will be excepted ever again. He is 4 you need to step up and show him you are in charge give him a warning, make a chart so he can see what is expected of him and when he is breaking a house rule, spank his bottom and put him to bed/ every time he doesn't listen to you.

it sounds to me like your both. In a negative rut and  like your exhausted and probably a bit down, but make sure you do plenty of praising him too. 

msharleyjr
by Bronze Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 3:03 PM
I used to place my hand over my babies then spank my hand its not the pain so much as the sound. This way They thought they were being punished and they stopped the behavior and. I could have some control. I very rarely spanked my kids their entire life.
DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 3:26 PM
My son did the exact same thing to me when he was about that age. Finally after a year of dealing with it, i had him tested for everything and it turned out he was ADD/Autistic.. It was heart breaking to me I cried for days. I got him the help he needed and it has been better since then. He is now 12 we have a wonderful relationship. Good luck mama
elasmimi
by Platinum Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 8:34 PM

This is what I would suggest. You might have to get a referral from his pediatrician, but just be firm and insist.

Quoting goddiddlyumshis:

Try having him seen by a child evaluator or developmental pedi.
My son has done all of those thing, and his autistic and has impulse control disorder.


SissyAnn141
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 2:57 AM

 

Quoting msharleyjr:

I used to place my hand over my babies then spank my hand its not the pain so much as the sound. This way They thought they were being punished and they stopped the behavior and. I could have some control. I very rarely spanked my kids their entire life.

 Try this, and if this is deliberate behavior, pop him on the BOTTOM.

  and put him in the corner.

Natsumi444
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 I can`t tell with the information you are giving here. You don`t mention if you are dealing with this by yourself, if your kid only behave selective only with you, if  there are other kids, does he have a normal social life at the park with other kids for example, and with what frequency, perserverance  discipline techniques is your way?, when did it start, when there are other peers or persons doesn`t he behave better, does he really gets what he wants, does he do this in public  places like the supermarket? I like very much  EmpoweringParents Child Behavior Help, directed by an specialist, and his suggestions always works with my 3 kids. Read http://www.empoweringparents.com/Anger-as-a-Weapon-When-Your-Child-Points-the-Gun-at-You.php You maybe overwhelmed, maybe feeling guilty, going crazy, take care of yourself if your not doing it, and as one of the ladies said, get rid of that doctor. Here in Japan, doctors are called gods, most of them never listen and get angry if you dare make a comment about the diagnostic, something like "I think my son had catched a cold", the doctor will give you the'are you a doctor?"  look, brrrr. But I`m not Japanese so I send them to hell and found a nice Japanese doctor. How old are you? How were your parents?  are you  always at home?  If you let your kid do this to you, you neither change doctor, it looks like you are to passive? Or inexperience woman and mother, fearing authorities like doctors? Do you have support from your parents, friends, husband?  Many times is not lack of love but of parenting techniques. Screaming and beating, are not parenting techniques, it only gets worst and fill your kids of resentment. Once my kids were 5, 3 and 1 year old, wow! I was losing my mind, wasn`t a perfect mom, even though I had studied psychology at the university!!! I was very ill and stress made it worst, no support from my husband, alone in another country. I remember lying on the futon (on the floor)with influenza (three times send me to the hospital in those days)the kids jumping over me, 'mom let`s play! mom I`m hungry!", I stand up prepare something for them to eat and again in the futon,fever, going constantly to the bathroom, etc.etc. We shouldn`t go through all this alone, we are not superwomen! It`s good to have this site and share our experiences and give hope to the new mothers, one day you will look back and say I survived! I never forget what I have learnt "we have to try not only to feed our kids, not only show the good from wrong but above all we should try to create a peaceful and enjoyable environment at home" Perseverance, healthy discipline, will help.  But you need a good specialist help with your kid, the first thing you have to do , now.  Ah! and don`t forget you are not only a mother, a wife, etc. don`t leave aside your dreams, hobbies,etc. balance, balance.

xena7620
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 9:04 AM

well when you are on caresource your options are limited

 

xena7620
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 9:07 AM

well we had a good moening yesterday he didn't yank my hair to get me up he actually just said mommy get up.  he tried this morning but i got up before he got a chance

 

Lucymama1
by New Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Yeah sounds like he's begging for a spanking .  :)

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