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A mom in a post today said she felt retarded for not knowing something.  I posted a video from a stop the R word campaign to let her know how it makes people feel.  Some people have heard the word so many times that they just dont realize how hateful the word is.  Sometimes a gentle nudge is enough for people to realize that its no different than any other slur word.  I wasnt judging her.  Its really no different than my great grandpa calling people of color the N word.  He always heard it being used and never really thought about it being hateful.  It was just a word to him.  

She pmd me and said she really didnt care.  its just a word and she and her kids will always use it.  No big deal.  Sad.  What do you think?

by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM
Replies (91-94):
by Bronze Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 2:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I've got a better about we all stop using labels like the R word or "Special Needs" or "Special People" because fact take those "labels" away and you have people...people with a heart, with a soul, who bleed when you prick them, who hurt when they are in pain, who search for answers and knowledge (even if its in their own way) and who just want to be loved and accepted. I think we all tend to forget that.
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 4:48 PM

In music is it RITARD, not RETARD.

I don't use it very much, and try to find other words instead.  My ILs use all sorts of slurs and I have worked to keep them (slurs) out of my home and vocab. We'll see how that battle goes when DD gets older...

Quoting NDADanceMom:

Quoting frndlyfn:

I do not use it .   I do not mind if people use it correctly and not as a slur.  When you are using it to call a person a name is when you cross the line.

I understand that some people use it thinking its sometimes the proper word.  In music it can be, but to describe a person it really isnt.  Developmentally delayed, cognitive delays, or even just stating the disorder such as "child with downs syndrome" are much more respectful. 

by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 4:53 PM

No, I don't use it, and I have explained to my 6-yr-old that it is hurtful to use on others. Even if the person isn't actually mentally retarded, they could have someone in their family who is, or another person could overhear it. He understands that some people are born mentally handicapped, and I trust he won't use it. I think kids who are exposed to adults in the home who use it don't know any better.

by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 5:20 PM

I understand that the word retarded could be taken offensively. But think about the definition of the word.


Blacks and whites alike call themselves that all day long. Please stop comparing the two words. If someone were to call me a nigger I would giggle because I know the CORRECT definition of that word and I know better....

just as the mother of the DS baby should raise that child to know that they may be slower than other people in some ways and that they may need a little extra help with certain things in life that doesn't make them any LESS of a person.

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