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Is this fair?

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:02 AM
  • 11 Replies
Ok, this is something thats been buggin me for a long time. I need some opinions. My husband has a son from a previous relationship. Weve been together 10 years and married almost 3. His son is 11. He gets him.every other weekend, due to his work schedule,every holiday, every summer, his son doesnt want for anything, and he gave her money anytime she asked for it. Now heres the thing, she put hom on child support 3 yrs ago when he and I got married. And she said thats the only reason. Not because hes a bad dad, but because he married me. He pays over 400.00 a month for one child. Now his son lives with her, but stays with her mother during the week.and she only has him every other weekend. Doesnt work, and gets child support from another man for her other kids. Now is it fair that my husband and I have offered to have his son live with us, to help her cuz he can be a handful, and she refuses because of me and that he pays over 400. For that she never,has? And she never has money for their son? Wheres the child support going? What do u think?
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lazycamper
by Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Where is twelve dollars a day going? Lol
RADmomma
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Is the child support court ordered? So they know she doesn't have him during the week? If anything I would be providing the grandmother with the money. She's the one who has him the most. Does the son want to live with you? He's almost at the age where courts will take him opinion into consideration!
stpmaof1
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:14 AM
It was court ordered, it comes right out of his check. Every 2 weeks. The courts dont know he stays with her mother. She has him stay with her mother so he can go to a,county school and not city.
DSamuels
by Silver Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 10:43 AM

I think you should make the court aware of that.

Quoting stpmaof1:

It was court ordered, it comes right out of his check. Every 2 weeks. The courts dont know he stays with her mother. She has him stay with her mother so he can go to a,county school and not city.


Amy_M
by Bronze Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 10:46 AM

So take her to court and fight for custody

Tootiex3
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 10:50 AM
One thing that you must understand and keep in mind at all times, regardless of what you think, or anyone else a man who fathered a child IS financially responsible regardless if both parties agree. The state and AG determine the amount based on certain levels. Now as far as what the money is being spent on, it doesn't matter unless there are signs of neglect to the child (ex. Instead of buying food with child support, child is underfed, where does the child support go). If there's a concern for who he is being cared by, take it to court. Document proof that the child stays with grandma. Not hearsay, proof. Also document the child's living conditions, over all health, behavior, etc. No mother wants to hand her child over to another woman, she may be struggling yes, and she may be doing what she believes to be the best for her child. You can't just call her up and say hey we'd like to take him, you have to go through the courts.
Mama_03_09
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:12 AM
It sounds like she isnt over your husband and waiting until you tied the knot was a way to get back at him... but if she doesnt have the child and the grandmother does then yes it is wrong in the mean time get proof and get her into court.
NDADanceMom
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

$400 a month??? Wow she is getting super rich from that.  LMAO.  

You arent the mom and I suggest you stay out of it.  If your husband has concerns he can deal with it on his own.

Tootiex3
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:11 PM
I'll have to agree with this as well. $400 is enough to pay child care (she may have to pay her Mom), gas to get him to the doc, or go to the store to make sure his needs are met, pay for food (even on food stamps, it's never enough), she can also pay for all the utilities, rent, car insurance, expensive extra school costs, etc. In what world!?!?!?!


Quoting NDADanceMom:

$400 a month??? Wow she is getting super rich from that.  LMAO.  

You arent the mom and I suggest you stay out of it.  If your husband has concerns he can deal with it on his own.


stpmaof1
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Thats the thing, we have her son more than she does, I have him most of the time while his dad works. And she is always asking for more. His son never has anything when hes there. She has him going to school with clothes with holes in them, never has food in the house ( so her son says) and he is in and out of trouble. He has court thursday for beating up a kid with his bi nder and he was charged with 2nd degree assault. At age 11. And her other kids dad lives with themand abuses her in front of the kids, and just got out if jail a few months ago with weapons charges. She never does anythng about it. We know its going on, but like some one said its hearsay. We cant prove it. Its so much. And he may not be my son but i love him like my own. I know im not his mother, im not trying to be I have 3 children of my own but if shes asking for help and than denying our help at the same time. Im just a built in babysitter. I try to be a good mother and supportive wife and it just bothers me to see my.kids and husband so stressed. Thanks ladies for the advice and for listening. I really appreciate it.
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