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What's Up With My Daughters EX??? (PIOG)


My daughter got a great boyfriend at the beginning of this school year.  It seemed to really be going great between them.  Things were very serious and he seemed to totally respect her in every way.

Out of the blue, He broke up with her about a week and a half ago saying he just needed some space for about a month or so but is thinking that he wants to get back together after the month break  (doesn't make sense to me).  Anyway, my daughter was ofcourse very upset for a couple of days but has been working to move on~~~and ofcourse there was a line of boys waiting for her to be available and who are talking to her.  There are a couple who are trying to slowly work in and give her the time she needs but there is one who is pushing more and I can see a lot of sexual undertone in some of what I see from him in his pursuit.  She seems to like the ones who are respecting the time she needs more (which I'm glad of~~~I like those better myself.)

I've gotten off track,  SORRY.  Back to my point.  The ex~boyfriend has not left her alone since he broke up with her.  I've been reading their communications (through messenger.)  The first 2 or 3 days, they were both very sad about the break up and trying to comfort each other through it .  It has They then started arguing for a day.  He was mad about the break up and having a one sided rant about getting back together next month but he just needs some space for a little while.  They 've just talked normal a little bit.  Yesterday, he started messaging her right after lunch giving her permission to date that guy who she was walking towards lunch with.  This is a guy who the ex doesn't like but he knows that the guy likes my daughter.  He told her "just go ahead and date him.  You have my permission.  Then you will see what he is really like."

He has messaged her everyday going through all these different phases of his emotions about the whole break up.  He is the one that broke up with my daughter to begin with.   My daughter is getting on with her life but can't because he keeps messaging her during school about things he has seen at school (mostly involving other guys) and then in the evenings to let his heartache go all over the place in the things he is saying to her. 

What are your thoughts on what is up with him?  He really seemed great until this whole break up.  He is not making any sense now.  Does he want to be with her or not?  Does he not want to be with her but just doesn't want anyone else with her either or what?  Should we be nervous about him now or just dismiss everything?  Our daughter does seem willing to get back together with him if it should come up but is just trying to get along with life now (most of her life now does still include the friends that her and her ex had together).  He seems to feel that they just don't like him much anymore.  She tells him that is because he has changed and just gotten mean all the time~I think she's right.

Anyway, How should we feel about all his actions?  Should we be nervous about him?  Do you think all this is normal?

I would love to hear some insight on him and all this.  THANKS


Stephanie




We are Praying, Playing and Learning Together at

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by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Replies (31-40):
jennierenna
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Quoting stephs5isenough:

Yes.  I see a definite red flag with the permission thing.  That was the real reason for my post today.  And now, you have even heightened my feelings.

Did/Do you have any thoughts on ways to handle it?

Quoting jennierenna:

 I just watched a Dateline or 60 minutes thing about this high school couple dating for 3 years then a month after they broke up the boy murdered the girl. There was never any physical violence or anything to suggest he was unstable. They called it break up violence. Do you not see a red flag with the permission thing? Come on, he gives her permission to date someone else?! Um, no.....



It was "48 Hours" and the show was called Loved to death. It aired Oct. 26th. In case that makes it easier to Google. I honestly have no good advice besides watching that and keep an eye on him. It doesn't sound like a normal break up.
stephs5isenough
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by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Thanks.

Quoting jennierenna:


Quoting stephs5isenough:

Yes.  I see a definite red flag with the permission thing.  That was the real reason for my post today.  And now, you have even heightened my feelings.

Did/Do you have any thoughts on ways to handle it?

Quoting jennierenna:

 I just watched a Dateline or 60 minutes thing about this high school couple dating for 3 years then a month after they broke up the boy murdered the girl. There was never any physical violence or anything to suggest he was unstable. They called it break up violence. Do you not see a red flag with the permission thing? Come on, he gives her permission to date someone else?! Um, no.....



It was "48 Hours" and the show was called Loved to death. It aired Oct. 26th. In case that makes it easier to Google. I honestly have no good advice besides watching that and keep an eye on him. It doesn't sound like a normal break up.


Stephanie




We are Praying, Playing and Learning Together at

LIVING IN THE ARMS OF JESUS

Click my tag to follow me there.

Mena929
by Gold Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:37 PM

How old is she?

stephs5isenough
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Today at 10:58 AM
And God Cried

Produced by : Karen Ann Teo Vocals : Karen Ann Teo Video editor : Paul Choo Sound engineer : Bob Wong Vocals were done in 1998 and video editing in 2006. Vid...

by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM

She is a 16 yer old high school junior.

The Ex is a sophomore.

Quoting Mena929:

How old is she?


Stephanie




We are Praying, Playing and Learning Together at

LIVING IN THE ARMS OF JESUS

Click my tag to follow me there.

Mena929
by Gold Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like a typical highschool relationship.

Quoting stephs5isenough:

She is a 16 yer old high school junior.

The Ex is a sophomore.

Quoting Mena929:

How old is she?



IamMex11
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:49 PM

It does sound like typical high school stuff, but in this day and age, I would be leary.  Remind her to be careful not to be to secluded with him until this blows over.

stephs5isenough
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And God Cried

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by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:52 PM

That's good advice.  Thanks.

Quoting IamMex11:

It does sound like typical high school stuff, but in this day and age, I would be leary.  Remind her to be careful not to be to secluded with him until this blows over.


Stephanie




We are Praying, Playing and Learning Together at

LIVING IN THE ARMS OF JESUS

Click my tag to follow me there.

IamMex11
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

lol I came back to correct *too but you quoted me.

yeah its tough, i know...you try to give them space but you still worry

Quoting stephs5isenough:

That's good advice.  Thanks.

Quoting IamMex11:

It does sound like typical high school stuff, but in this day and age, I would be leary.  Remind her to be careful not to be to secluded with him until this blows over.



CheyennesMommy2
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:59 PM
I would not encourage my daughter to be so focused on relationships. That is the last thing she needs to be successful in life.
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stephs5isenough
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Today at 10:58 AM
And God Cried

Produced by : Karen Ann Teo Vocals : Karen Ann Teo Video editor : Paul Choo Sound engineer : Bob Wong Vocals were done in 1998 and video editing in 2006. Vid...

by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 3:07 PM

We do encourage her to stay away from relationships.  But, we are also aware that that is what teens do.  So, our big rule is that if you are going to be in one, we must know the person and we will be involved.  One of us will give all transportation to any dates and we will frequently be at the date where we can see. 

She does focus on her schooling as well as her sports.  We make sure of that.   But, dating is not something we can really stop.  That is part of what high school kids do.  So we just control it and make sure it is all appropriate.

Quoting CheyennesMommy2:

I would not encourage my daughter to be so focused on relationships. That is the last thing she needs to be successful in life.


Stephanie




We are Praying, Playing and Learning Together at

LIVING IN THE ARMS OF JESUS

Click my tag to follow me there.

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