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Question... little drama... WWYD?

Posted by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:06 PM
  • 22 Replies
So my divorce is nearly final. I have been separated 3 years. My new beau and I would like to get married as soon after my divorce is final as possible. My ex came in to town today to help his mom move so he stopped by to see our son. During which he attempted to get me to sleep with him because he was mad his girlfriend cheated on him.I turned him down, of course. However I debated not telling my fiancé. I ended up telling him because I figured in the end I'd be angry if he kept something like that from me. Well I asked him not to say anything to my ex until after our divorce is final. Is that wrong? Should I just let him say his piece? I just don't want to be in the middle of the crossfire right now, but I wanted to be honest with my fiancé. What would you do?
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:06 PM
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by Emerald Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:10 PM
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I probably would ask the same thing of my guy if i were in that situation.  Ex could get real nasty with divorce papers and such if fiancee confronted him.  How did he handle the news of such blatant disrespect towards you?

by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:13 PM
He's very angry with him. And I suppose with me for not letting him say anything. He's pissed and offended and feels disrespected in our home and I don't blame him at all. I hate to see him upset but I didn't feel right about not telling him the truth.
by Ruby Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:14 PM
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I think you're right. I would've made him wait too.
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by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:19 PM
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IMO. You're right to want him to hold off. The ex can use that against you... They always find a way. Explain your reasons & that you understand his frustration but that for the good of the family you appreciate him biting his tongue for a bit.
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by Sapphire Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Sounds like you did right,

Now is the time or place to say or have anything happen.
Let it go for now  :)

by Flovely on Nov. 2, 2013 at 1:10 AM

 I understand not wanting to tell your man right away.  You need to have the divorce go through as smoothly as it can be. 
I also understand why he's upset and would want to say something.  Hiding things before you are even married isn't a good start but again I do understand why you waited but you didn't wait long enough for the divorce issue to be the excuse.  I don't know what's right.  I left and had relationships and didn't worry about the divorce.  I was a young girl and had no idea about how difficult it could turn out back then.  I hope I never have to go through another one.
I wish you good luck with everything!

by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Asking him to wait until after the divorce is understandable and he should respect your wishes. If your ex gets angry he could cause problems and it seems he would if he wants to cheat on his gf with you. Your ex is not happy and doesn't want you to be either. Good luck.
by Bronze Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Just easier to wait until the papers are signed and processed, he could drag it out JUST keep you and your fiancée from getting married and you don't want that. I would tell your fiancée that you wanted to be open and honest a nod he is free to say whatever he wants just as soon as the ink is dry in those papers!

by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:23 AM

I'd ask him to stay out of it, too. All you want is the divorce to be final, and the fewer complications with that, the better. You handled the situation with your ex, and don't need any help with that.

by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 10:05 AM

You did the right thing by asking for time. It has already been 3 years while waiting for your divorce to be finalised. Rather not rock the boat too much even though he was very disrespectfull towards you. That way you can get on with your new life. Your soon to be X is just not worth the hurt and anger. As hard as it may be.....just walk away with your head held high!

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