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Is it ok to stay in a relationship for your kids

Posted by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:20 PM
  • 20 Replies
Ive been with my children's father for ten years now, since I was seventeen. We no longer see eye to eye on anything, he never makes things easier on me even though we both work full time and suffer from accident related back injuries. There feels like there is nothing left, no common interests, goals, decisions, intimacy, communication. I feel like I live with a brick wall. But yet my children suffer anxiety if either of us say we will leave. a
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pnukey
by Jennifer on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Then, find the common interests, goals, and intimacy again. It was there before.

AWestbrook
by New Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:27 PM
Ive been trying that for years. He is stubborn and wont budge. He treats me like shit and feels like his way, needs, and wants are all that matters.
nooneexciting
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM
2 moms liked this
I am a child of divorces parents, and while it was hard for many reasons, being around the toxic tension was way worse.

I also know several of my friends who dealt with their parents 'staying together' for their sake, and desperately wish they hadn't. When you and your SO are walking on egg shells to avoid arguments and tension, your children will feel that and start doing it as well.

I would suggest maybe attempting counceling if possible and trying to actually work things out, or consider separation.

People worry that their kids will blame divorces on themselves, but kids will also blame your misery on themselves if they learn you have only stayed together for their sake. That can be just as damaging.
natural_s
by Bronze Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM
3 moms liked this

No. I think its healthier for the kids to have two healthy parents living apart and parenting to have two parents living together fighting all the time. Plus depending on how toxic things are you are just showing kids the wrong way to have a relationship which more likely they will end up repeating in their own lives at some point.

honey27
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Get some marriage counseling.
AWestbrook
by New Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 10:36 PM
We r not married


Quoting honey27:

Get some marriage counseling.

thatgirl70
by Carin on Nov. 3, 2013 at 12:06 AM

I think it depends. If there is something there to salvage, I don't see the harm in trying, but if the relationship is just flat out done, then it does no good for anyone to stay together.

KendallsMommee
by Bronze Member on Nov. 3, 2013 at 12:09 AM
2 moms liked this
As Dr.Phil would say, "Children would rather be FROM a broken home than live IN one.

True.
lover231
by New Member on Nov. 3, 2013 at 12:10 AM

Me and the baby's dad broke up in September and I feel you. I understand if the children suffer anxiety and I wouldn't want to see them to suffer. Just try talking things out with him and see what happens

DallasCowboys81
by Gold Member on Nov. 3, 2013 at 12:24 AM
The kids only suffer as long as you allow them too. They bounce bsck faster then what we give them credit for. The old saying goes, if mama aint happy, aint nobody happy. Its true. I understand you are looking out for them but how can you make sure your job is fullfilled doing that when your not happy yourself?
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