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30 feeling like 16 and pregnant

Posted by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 5:25 PM
  • 6 Replies

 First time on mom looking to vent a little. A little background on me. 30 yrs old living in CA from NY hardly any family or friends in CA. Worked for a big corp company for the past 8+ years. Haven't had unprotected sex in 10 years. I meet this guy I go totally gaga over and decide I want to have unprotected sex, so I get on the pill. Fast forward 3 months later I was wrongfully terminated from my job for pointing out all of the illegal practices that were going on. Background on him - 1 previous child in NC, ex marine, 2 degrees, owns his own home in Philly,  free mason, and Christian. I get let go only to find out i'm pregnant a month later. We haven't dated long enough to get to know eachother and i'm depressed because I can't find a job. I interview weekly and apply daily keeping a log/journal. I feel envious of married women with doting husbands. I feel embarressed that i'm not married. My family is very against this pregancy stating the obvious - I don't have a job, I don't know this man, and I just gave up my place. Not feeling 30 and secure instead feeling like 16 and prenant with no money to run away lol I feel like i've been blacklisted as a whistle blower and that's why even with advanced skills I can't get a job to save my life. I thought about voulenteering at the near by hospital to take up some time so I can feel wanted and needed. Being a virgo I live for others... Nothing seems to be working out for me these days. Am I the only one out there feeling like this? I mean I know I love this baby growing inside of me and I know i'll be a great mom and these feelings will pass but i'm over it. I'm not glowing and loving pregnancy. I'm miserable and getting anxiety attacks and can't take my meds for depression or anxiety and I don't even know if I want to be with this man anymore. Maybe it's because i'm pregnant and can't deal with these hormones. I think I need a snack I can't take myself right now lol

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 5:25 PM
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by Platinum Member on Nov. 7, 2013 at 8:09 PM


You are most definitely not alone.  Although I'm older than you, and have 3 kids, I found myself a single mom for the 2nd time 4 years ago and it was definitely a new world.  But, I'm getting through and you will too.

Now, how far along in your pregnancy are you?  Are you (forgetting everyone else) happy about the baby?  How does the father feel about everything?  Are you still together?

I think volunteering is a great idea.  It will help you take your mind off of your troubles for a while, allow you to do something you enjoy and who knows, maybe it'll lead to a future job opportunity.

by Ruby Member on Nov. 7, 2013 at 9:44 PM

HUGS! You're not alone. So many parents go through this. Things will turn around for you and get better! Even your family will change their tune once baby is born. I hope you can find a job soon and things look up for you. Can you find a paying job at the hospital? That would be great! And welcome to the group :)

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 10:20 PM
Having a husband doesn't guarantee doting! I think every pregnant woman has fears and anxiety. You shouldn't assume you have it worse because of your situation, that will just make things worse.
by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 10:44 PM

If you truly feel like you have been blacklisted, and you are not sure about being with this man, maybe a change of location might help? How does he feel about the pregnancy? Is he willing to at least help financially? I was single, alone and pregnant when I was 16, so I sort of understand. Hope things work out for you.hugs

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Things will get better just ask the lord for his guidance he will never leave u or forsake u
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Thank you for letting m e vent. He says he's happy but then doesn't want to be with me since his brother passed. Which was 9/23 the day after my 30th. I was pregant at the time and didn't know. He came back stating that he didn't expect me to under nor support him but I could not be a hinderence. I tried to kill myself and still have the scars. Everytime he hurts me all I can think about was I tried to kill myself over a man while I was pregnant and I have the scars to prove it. I told him I maybe pregnant about 2 weeks later as the test said negative but I knew something was up because of my body rejecting alcohol. I had already decided I was going to move back home to NY so I let go of my apartment put everything in storage and went home. That's when I got 3 positive test. I came back to work it out but he's fighting so many demons. He didn't even have a relationship with his brother how can he say he's happy to have this baby but then not want to go to church or therapy or give me some other options. I cried hard last night and left. He said you can stay at a shelter or you can stay here I don't care. Why would I stay somewhere knowing i'm not wanted? I'm trying to be cool and give him space but I don't want to do this alone. I wanted the family I never had...
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