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How do I get my boys

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:28 AM
  • 7 Replies

To be nice to their sister??? Ugh... They don't relaize that she has allot of issues and I fear one day she wont be with us anymore and they will hate themselves for the rest of their lives because of how mean they are to her... Ugh... Nothing I say or do cna fix it. My 6yr old DS and my 10 yr old DD literally HATE eachtother... It's really sad actually ....

Come join me at Open heart mamas :)

by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:28 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:51 AM

I am sorry. This is such a problem. I tried the "you know that your brother (I have two sons) will be around longer than Dad and I" but it didn't work.  I decided to make the fighting their problem and not mine, and I told them that they needed to settle their disagreements on their own. This at least took away some of the drama that was just to get my attention. In your situation, if your daughter has delicate health, it is a different problem. You don't want your son to be cruel to his sister because she is getting more attention because of her health. Maybe give your son a lot of extra attention and see if this calms down that anger.  Or tell them to not interact with one another. Or the reverse, make them interact.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:54 AM

My dd does have a delicate health issue but is not treated any different from the other kids. My ds 6 gets most of the attention in the house considering he is the baby of the family that is usually how it goes. He just flat out hates her. It don't matter what they are doing he just don't like her. It's very sad. Heartbreaking actually, she can be sitting on the couch and he will just start yelling at her or hitting her for no apparent reason. I swear he has anger issues, just not sure how to fix them or why he is so angry. Idk   thanks for your input

Quoting Bmat:

I am sorry. This is such a problem. I tried the "you know that your brother (I have two sons) will be around longer than Dad and I" but it didn't work.  I decided to make the fighting their problem and not mine, and I told them that they needed to settle their disagreements on their own. This at least took away some of the drama that was just to get my attention. In your situation, if your daughter has delicate health, it is a different problem. You don't want your son to be cruel to his sister because she is getting more attention because of her health. Maybe give your son a lot of extra attention and see if this calms down that anger.  Or tell them to not interact with one another. Or the reverse, make them interact.


Come join me at Open heart mamas :)

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

look into team building exercises that wont compromise anyone's health or safety.  The baby of family probably hates that his sister gets attention he feels is owed to him. You may have to seek a child therapist to address his aggression/anger in a healthier manner.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Maybe.. As long as my 12 yr old DS is not around they seem to be just fine, as soon as he walks in the door it ALL changes. IDK. It's so frustraiting.

Quoting frndlyfn:

look into team building exercises that wont compromise anyone's health or safety.  The baby of family probably hates that his sister gets attention he feels is owed to him. You may have to seek a child therapist to address his aggression/anger in a healthier manner.


Come join me at Open heart mamas :)

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:40 PM

This is interesting. The older boy walks in and this triggers the behavior. Older brother hasn't been picking on the younger brother has he? Or on your daughter. I wonder what is going on in the younger boy's head that he'd have this reaction. I agree with the reply above that the younger son may benefit by talking  this over with a counselor.

Quoting DallasCowboys81:

Maybe.. As long as my 12 yr old DS is not around they seem to be just fine, as soon as he walks in the door it ALL changes. IDK. It's so frustraiting.

Quoting frndlyfn:

l



Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:41 PM

Could you enlist the older son's help in making the younger one stop being aggressive toward his sister?

NDADanceMom
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:50 PM

My oldest was always mean to my youngest and it has caused issues.  This year my youngest is 11 and my oldest is in college.  Its been really great.  I never did find a solution.  I even had my oldest watch an episode of Dr Phil that was about being bullied by a sibling.  It was heartbreaking.  My oldest cried but was back at it in weeks.  

Now that she has a dorm to go to I kick her out when she is rude to her sister.  She can not sleep here unless she is nice.  Last week my youngest mentioned how much nicer her sister is.  Maybe warn the bully kid or kids that when the day comes they will not be welcome in your house unless they are kind. 

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