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Mom, "I have nothing but hate for her.."

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM
  • 48 Replies
1 mom liked this

 So, my mom and I have never been close, and we never will be. She has mental issues that I am not able to help with and she treats me like dirt. A long with our huge history of problems, including her cocaine addiction, she has attempted suicide twice and blamed be both times. The last time she did this, she left a suicide note that said "Tiffany, I hope you are happy, this is your fault." While in the letter she is giving praise to my sister who has done nothing but lie, steal from, and use her. I have never done anything to hurt my mom. I read an email from my mom to my sister and in it it said, "If it weren't for Urijah (my son), it wouldn't be hard at all to totally write her out of my life. I never thought I could say or feel it, but I have nothing but hate for her." She has been telling everyone that I will not let her see my son, which is why she tried to kill herself the last time, but I have never kept him from her, she is just not allowed to take him anywhere alone. So, I finally told her that I no longer can deal with her words and that I am sick of having to go through this every 6months or so and I will not subject my son to the childhood she forced me to live, so she is not allowed to see my son. Am I wrong for this?? What would you do?

by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:34 PM

I would keep my child safe over an unstable adult's feelings and thoughts.  I am presuming she has never sought help for her issue or she has rejected help to get her more stabilized.

Its.me.Sam.
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:38 PM

she sounds very troubled and in need of real professional help.
forgive her.  there is no need for hate.  she is just a person.
move forward with your life and only have her in it where it is healthy and good.. if it is not then dont.   but 'hating' her is only poison to YOU and bad your YOUR well being.
 

KalubsMommy02
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:57 PM

 I never said that I hated her, she said she hated me. It is crazy. I could never imagine saying those things about my child. I dont understand.

Quoting Its.me.Sam.:

she sounds very troubled and in need of real professional help.
forgive her.  there is no need for hate.  she is just a person.
move forward with your life and only have her in it where it is healthy and good.. if it is not then dont.   but 'hating' her is only poison to YOU and bad your YOUR well being.
 

 

beadingmom17
by Rachel on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Sounds like it's in the best interest of both you and your son
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KalubsMommy02
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:59 PM

 Which is why I have never allowed her to take him by herself. She is on too many meds, and she wont admit that she is addicted to any drugs. It is crazy. I told her that I am protecting my child like a mother should.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would keep my child safe over an unstable adult's feelings and thoughts.  I am presuming she has never sought help for her issue or she has rejected help to get her more stabilized.

 

RaisinGirl78
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Mother or not I wouldn't allow a toxic unstable person like that around my children. You know she'll eventually start doing it to him.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 5:01 PM
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I don't think you did anything wrong.
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rhymia
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

If it were me I'd cut that bitch off without a second thought. I wouldn't want my children around that kind of toxicity, because with her issues I can imagine her telling them how awful you are, etc. I can't even imagine.

righteousrose
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 5:12 PM
I've have cut her off sooner.

Write her a letter explaining why, telling her that any further contact by her or a third party will result in police/legal action. Keep a copy.

Just incase she tries the crazy bitch route again you'll have an easier time getting an order too
Its.me.Sam.
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 5:14 PM


the title uses the word.  but i apologize if i misunderstood.
BUT... i must say - and please understand i say this with much respect and compassion - learn to see her as just a person.  she is more than just your mother and your childrens grandmother.  she has her own set of experiences outside of her motherhood.  know what i mean?  she is clearly very VERY troubled.  it is sad.  you wont be able to help her and it is likely the best thing for you and your family to limit the relationship with her.. but keep your feelings compassionate and not angry.  it is difficult.. i know (i dont get personal in here but i DO know) but once you stop seeing her as your mom who should behave a certain way be something for you or better herself for your sake or as a mother/gmother etc.. and just see her as a person wholly unto herself you will begin to let go of the negative feelings.  know what i mean.  its difficult.. but once you release those negative feelings about what she didnt do for you then or now you will be much more at peace.   see your own motherhood as your way of balancing things.

Quoting KalubsMommy02:

 I never said that I hated her, she said she hated me. It is crazy. I could never imagine saying those things about my child. I dont understand.

Quoting Its.me.Sam.:

she sounds very troubled and in need of real professional help.
forgive her.  there is no need for hate.  she is just a person.
move forward with your life and only have her in it where it is healthy and good.. if it is not then dont.   but 'hating' her is only poison to YOU and bad your YOUR well being.
 

 



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