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My husband and Female Friends-I NEED Advice

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:31 PM
  • 13 Replies
My husband and I have been married 9 years, we've always had many friends and I always thought it would be ok that he had female friends as long as it wouldn't go further from there, otherwise I told him to tell me if he found someone else so that I could move on with out him having to cheat on me.

Now I have 1 friend that I grew up with. She's about my age, dated her husband for 3 months and got married. They've been married for 15 years or so. She told my husband (since they go way back since kids) that she has an interest with another man that also has a family. This is her best friends husband. She almost went all the way with this guy but didn't because she's married, although they were both naked and wanted advice since my husband is a counselor and she was embarrassed and scared to share this with anyone else. Anyways during the time I was dating my husband years ago, she had a big crush on my husband. I noticed that she still has some kind of feelings for him because she told him to call her if my husband and I ever divorce. He laughed it off. Then other times she would just flirt with him and he would laugh. I had a talk with her and told her I didn't like her messages and she was embarrassed & said she would stop doing that and asked me not to say anything about her cheating on her husband since it would destroy her 3 young kids (youngest is like 4-5 years old). Months later she doesn't stop and I'm getting annoyed. She laughed when she found out that I blocked her phone number and told my husband through text or whatsapp "what's so wrong with being friends?" My husband agreed and said he could call her from his work phone. I told him that's taking her side and disregarding my feelings to go behind my back and he says he feels disrespected that I blocked this girl from the phone...the 1 that I talked to and told her to stop flirting with my husband and she said she would but still does. If she cheated on her best friend's husband, what can I expect from her that I'm not a close friend but just grew up seeing her around. My husband says I'm crazy.
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
supercarp
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:49 PM
3 moms liked this

I can't believe your husband is a counselor and would say you're crazy about your gut feelings about this "frenemy" of yours. He clearly enjoys the flirting and doesn't want it to end. That's a red flag right there. I also think it is unethical for him to be counseling her and he should refer her to someone else.

ChiRN
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally agree. I always tell him to be careful because his friendships could cost his job that we rely on. That's why I pushed myself so hard to finish my nursing degree to move on if I have to. I barely passed my state exam so now he's on a thread. I just wanted to get some input because I know I'm not crazy and know guys do that to brainwash women to thinking they're the one with the problem so they keep doing what they want.


Quoting supercarp:

I can't believe your husband is a counselor and would say you're crazy about your gut feelings about this "frenemy" of yours. He clearly enjoys the flirting and doesn't want it to end. That's a red flag right there. I also think it is unethical for him to be counseling her and he should refer her to someone else.


amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Now, I'm not an expert, but it does seem to me that your husband is, at the very least, disrespecting your opinion and your feelings.  But, I also think that maybe he's trying to hide something.


**Let it all out ANONYMOUSLY!**

precious54
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 6:00 PM

i agree with you

augsmom
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 6:27 PM
You must not have told her loud enough. :). She must not have heard what you said.
HelloKitty86
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Ya, well I bet you're insecure as well. And threatened. While your husband should respect your feeling about this, YOU should also trust him. 

cc1016
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:30 PM

I am NOT insecure and I trusted and respected my husband 100% even though he was a big flirt.  I knew he loved me (I am widowed).  It would be HER I didn't trust, espcially with her track record.  I wouldn't want to have to put the trust to the test if I didn't have to.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

Ya, well I bet you're insecure as well. And threatened. While your husband should respect your feeling about this, YOU should also trust him. 



HelloKitty86
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:55 PM

So whats she gonna do? Rape him? If he consents to anything then he's at fault too.

Quoting cc1016:

I am NOT insecure and I trusted and respected my husband 100% even though he was a big flirt.  I knew he loved me (I am widowed).  It would be HER I didn't trust, espcially with her track record.  I wouldn't want to have to put the trust to the test if I didn't have to.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

Ya, well I bet you're insecure as well. And threatened. While your husband should respect your feeling about this, YOU should also trust him. 




cc1016
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Well yes, HelloKitty86, men do get raped.  She seems hell bent on attaching herself in some way to other peoples husbands, so you never know.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

So whats she gonna do? Rape him? If he consents to anything then he's at fault too.

Quoting cc1016:

I am NOT insecure and I trusted and respected my husband 100% even though he was a big flirt.  I knew he loved me (I am widowed).  It would be HER I didn't trust, espcially with her track record.  I wouldn't want to have to put the trust to the test if I didn't have to.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

Ya, well I bet you're insecure as well. And threatened. While your husband should respect your feeling about this, YOU should also trust him. 






HelloKitty86
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:23 PM

Trust me 1016 I know that men can be raped.  You have obviously never dealt with a stalker or psycho, cause her behaviour is very mild compared to some of the freaks out there.  

Quoting cc1016:

Well yes, HelloKitty86, men do get raped.  She seems hell bent on attaching herself in some way to other peoples husbands, so you never know.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

So whats she gonna do? Rape him? If he consents to anything then he's at fault too.

Quoting cc1016:

I am NOT insecure and I trusted and respected my husband 100% even though he was a big flirt.  I knew he loved me (I am widowed).  It would be HER I didn't trust, espcially with her track record.  I wouldn't want to have to put the trust to the test if I didn't have to.


Quoting HelloKitty86:

Ya, well I bet you're insecure as well. And threatened. While your husband should respect your feeling about this, YOU should also trust him. 







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