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What to do when family ignores your kids.

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:50 PM
  • 5 Replies
My son has been missing his cousins. He put his own money into a birthday card. He called to say Happy Birthday (no answer) and sent a video. No response or acknowledgement. On his birthday and his brothers, there's not even a phone call. Whenever they call, there's no answer or return call. Now they have an older half sister, they all have the same dad, my DF. She gets gifts, the other cousins do too.
I have to say it's not the cousins fault but their mom's. My sons' aunt. When she calls her brother, it's all about him and DSD but she has to go when he starts talking about our kids. I don't know what her problem is, it's bothered me for quite a while. But my oldest is sad that he was ignored and wanted to say Happy Birthday and make sure his gift got there. So now I'm livid. I have done nothing to this lady. Certainly my kids haven't. Why remember and be kind to your other neices and nephews but be so cold to others? Calling to talk won't help, I can't do confrontational. I feel like writing a letter. DF says his family are all hypocritical asses when I bring up the unfairness and meaness of it all. I just don't know how to write the letter, angrily or try to be nice and question her reasons. Should I just leave it alone and tell my kids that some people are just mean and we should still do the right thing by remembering them? I don't want to start a fight but my child's hurt feelings have me shaking with anger.
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:50 PM
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Replies (1-5):
supercarp
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

You can't control others, and you can't keep other people from being stupid and cruel. What you can do is not set up your sons for failure: expect to have trouble from the biotch and use your brain to work around her. Don't be angry, and don't say anything negative about her in front of your kids. Go ahead and write the letter, but don't send it.

theloudhouse
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Good idea, let it all out and then into the woodstove it goes. I just don't know what to say to them when they ask. I can't not send my neices and nephews things, it goes against my nature. I think I will try to distract them from calling so it reduces the chances of being hurt and confused. I am trying so hard to teach and encourage loving gestures, generosity and family and friend ties that it's hard to explain.
weakestchimp
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:15 PM
this hurts to the core. I've had similar experience with my own mother.
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theloudhouse
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this
That's even worse! Poor kids and you!


Quoting weakestchimp:

this hurts to the core. I've had similar experience with my own mother.

supercarp
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 You sound like a really rational and intelligent person. You can give gifts to the other kids if it pleases you to do so, just don't expect any in return. I have tried to have the personal standard of not allowing anyone else's behavior to dictate mine.


Quoting theloudhouse:

Good idea, let it all out and then into the woodstove it goes. I just don't know what to say to them when they ask. I can't not send my neices and nephews things, it goes against my nature. I think I will try to distract them from calling so it reduces the chances of being hurt and confused. I am trying so hard to teach and encourage loving gestures, generosity and family and friend ties that it's hard to explain.


 

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