Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

My husband is an @**

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 6:57 PM
  • 34 Replies
1 mom liked this
Last night he actually had the gall to ask if I could shower more and dress up so we could have more sex. I work from home full time, raise our 8 month old baby, and do the housework as well. I work from 7 am until 1 or 2 am. He's in law school and hasn't done jack shit with the housework because it stresses him out. I'm pissed. I'm lucky if I have time to take a shower. I spend whatever free time I have with our son until his bedtime, and then two hours listening to my husband talk about law school. He doesnt get that my listening to him for that long means I go to bed so late because I have to do my work AND the housework.
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 6:57 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
NewMamaBoo
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:08 PM
6 moms liked this

I'd tell him if he can spend less time talking about school and more time watching the kid and helping around the house I would be happy to take a few showers a day

CafeMom Tickers
AtillaTheHun
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:10 PM
8 moms liked this
Hand him a list with his chores, tell him 'thanks for wanting to help out more,' turn around and go take a shower. :-)
TaralynnStewart
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:11 PM
2 moms liked this
Time for honey do list :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
larissa5512
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:13 PM
2 moms liked this
You have every right to feel pissed and hurt. But stop, just stop for a second and think about what he's saying. He wants to have more sex, more time with you. How often does a man tell someone what is wrong before they cheat??? (NOT saying he's going to) he's expressing to you that there's a problem. Why not listen to him?
lapcounter
by Super Mom on Nov. 20, 2013 at 7:22 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't see what you women get all pissy about! You want your men to be honest and when they are you get pissy, when they don't talk and be honest you get pissy.

taKENheart
by Flovely on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:13 PM
2 moms liked this

 Yep!  I might even whisper seductively in his ear about what he can expect later...throw in a little nibble.  You never know...the evening may go well for both of you and you both get what you want.

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Hand him a list with his chores, tell him 'thanks for wanting to help out more,' turn around and go take a shower. :-)

 

Secretly101
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM
It's all about the way people say things. If maybe he was likr "babe, really want to spend time together, be intimate with you and for you to be you and get dressed up for you." I think it would be alot better. Maybe make it more about you and less about him. Also ask for help. Say I would love to do those things ....however I have so much to do on the homefront. Maybe if you helped me I would shower and have sex more frequently. I understand. A shower would be the last thing I was thinking about as well lol. But he is at least telling you. Me and my man have no communication and no sex :/
readyforhim
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:17 PM

when he walks in the door, grab your towel and body cream and go take a shower. You get a break and he spends time with the baby. Also, i used to do all the housework and know that i shouldn't have done that, either he helps since lives there or you worry more about you and the baby and let him take care of himself.

Thethrivingmom
by New Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:27 PM
2 moms liked this
I think maybe she is hurt, offended, pissed with his lack of tact. Maybe he is feeling the distance and lack of intimacy going on, but if he wants to remedy that situation, I think there is a kinder, more respectable way to go about it. Maybe something like, "Honey, I know you are so busy with all you do for our family but I really miss being with you. I wish we could get back to having sex more often. What can i do to help the situation?" I know most men would never utter words like that, but those are the things we want to hear. We want them to recognize the effort we put do put in. I don't know any mom who wouldn't relish the time to take a shower. Yes, with her full time job, house keeping, and child rearing, he can certainly spare 10 minutes (or 20 if he wants shaved legs!) to play with his child, do the dishes, or fold a load of laundry, especially if he wants nookie out of it! She has every right to be pissed with the way he handled the situation. I think BOTH partners need to put in effort to maintain a healthy sex life.
big.city.mama
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I know how hard it is to be a mom and take time for your self but he is not asking for much. You can take a ten minute shower during nap time or take the baby in the bathroom with you sit the baby in there seat and handle your buisness the baby can't run around and get into anything yet. Yes he should definitely help out but at least he isn't sitting on the sofa with a remote or game controller in his hand he is in school to have a better future for the family
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN