Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Have you had a family member in hospital?

Posted by   + Show Post

My sister is in the hospital needing surgery right now.  Have you had family members in the hospital? What do you do for them?  I offered to come over but she didn't want me to, at least last night.

by on Nov. 25, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Replies (11-20):
Sam.Smith
by on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Yes i have. My ex husband had emergence surgery. We were in MO for work and his appendix burst. He had never been in the hospital besides the day he was born. LOL. We were 8hrs from home with no family insight. I had to set there scared to death with no one to comfort me. It was the scariest thing that I had to go thru. Thankgoodness it was an amazing hospital and not just a "band-aid" hospital. They took wonderful care of him and me.



You say ur sis says she doesn't want u up there but it might be she just doesn't want to feel like she is a bother. Go up there she needs you weather she admits it or not. You know us women are stubborn and independent
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Thank you for the suggestions. Good points. I did talk to my sister again and she said yes she'd like me to be there for moral support, so I am going to keep her company before she goes for surgery.  She may be in the hospital over Thanksgiving, so maybe by that time I can bring her some food that she likes. :)

Quoting Molimomma:

Yes. My mom had a 14 hour surgery for colon cancer when I was a freshman in high school. She spent a week in the hospital. She was home for another 6-8 weeks after that. It was a LONG, tough recovery. 

I think it really depends what they're in the hospital for. I spent a week in the hospital when I had my son(failed induction then a c-section on day 3!). I was busy with baby so didn't need anything but help getting to the bathroom!

My mother was really drugged the first few couple days and couldn't move around because of all the tubes and "gear" she was connected to. Then later they want you sitting then eventually walking around so it's nice to have family there to help you. All my mom wanted was to be able to brush her teeth and as she was feeling better, to wash her hair(her best friend helped her wash it in the bathroom sink!). 

She may need a robe or slippers later on. She'd probably appreciate some thing to do if she's stuck in bed and not too tired. If she is there for more than a day or 2 and is allowed to eat you might want to bring her some outside food(it really depends what she had surgery for, if she has a special diet from the doctor, what meds she may be on, etc.) If she has a family at home the nicest thing may be to go to her house and bring THEM a meal, or do a household chore that might not be getting done like vacuuming or laundry.


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:32 PM

She has a blood clot in her leg.  Good ideas.  Thank you. :)

Quoting theloudhouse:

I had two surgeries this summer. Spent the time in hospital barfing from the meds and something called illeus or sleeping. I did get lonely but everyone was busy. If you have the ability to just go whenever, then offer to visit if she gets bored. Say just call me sis. And of course offer to help when she gets home. I was so sore after the first which had an incision along my old c-section scar. And tired! Help with shopping, meals. Rent her a funny movie. Get her a favorite snack. Hope she does okay and recovers quick. What's her surgery for?


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Good ideas.  I have a humorous book that my sister might enjoy- didn't think of taking that. :)

Quoting IncognitoOne:

I've had several family members in the hospital. We always visit them and bring them things to do/read and snack on if it's allowed.


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:34 PM

LOL Cute about his packing. :)   These are good ideas. I hadn't thought of gc to her restaurants.

Quoting PlaysAllDay:

I've been the one in the hosp. I very much appreciated non hospital food. I liked when people brought me magazines, movies. Gift cards and meals for when i got home. If it was unexpected like mine bring her underwear!! My DH packed me like we were going on a romantic getaway.


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Oh poor baby.  How is your daughter doing?

Quoting DallasCowboys81:

Yep, my dd 4 mths old had open heart. It wad a 8 hr surgery that seemed like it was a week long.


Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:38 PM

What a dreadful time for you BIL.  It is amazing that his brain is working well. 

Thank you, I'll try to do this. My sister doesn't have anyone other than myself and our disabled Mom.

Quoting MommaVoo:

BIL drowned this year(survived) and ended up losing both his legs below the knee, he has since turned 18 so very young. He was in the hospital for weeks, touch and go at first as he was in an induced coma because he wasn't breathing for 3 minutes before they revived him. He is doing fairly well and will be fitted with legs soon and seems to have zero brain issues fromt he 3 min plus coma. We live on the other side of the US so werent able to do much but offer our support from a far. Got tickets for my MIL to come out and see her first granddaughter be born and have a small vacation. 

The best thing you can do is just be there for all involved and help with whatever is needed.


toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I've had several family members in the hospital. My mom went into respiratory arrest in 2009, and was on a ventilator for almost a month. I took care of her house and pets while she was in the hospital. I think it comes down to how serious the situation is on what you will do. Emotional support is the best thing you can offer.
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

What a scary time for you both!  It is good to hear that they treated you well.

Good idea- this was my thought also.  In fact my sister called a few minutes ago to ask me to bring some meds that the hospital wants from her, and I asked again about staying, and she replied in a small voice that yes she'd like me there during her surgery for moral support.


Quoting Sam.Smith:

Yes i have. My ex husband had emergence surgery. We were in MO for work and his appendix burst. He had never been in the hospital besides the day he was born. LOL. We were 8hrs from home with no family insight. I had to set there scared to death with no one to comfort me. It was the scariest thing that I had to go thru. Thankgoodness it was an amazing hospital and not just a "band-aid" hospital. They took wonderful care of him and me.



You say ur sis says she doesn't want u up there but it might be she just doesn't want to feel like she is a bother. Go up there she needs you weather she admits it or not. You know us women are stubborn and independent


MommaVoo
by on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

she MIGHT be telling you not to come out of guilt, I would stop by and bring her something nice and see if she melts and lets you be there.

Quoting Bmat:

What a dreadful time for you BIL.  It is amazing that his brain is working well. 

Thank you, I'll try to do this. My sister doesn't have anyone other than myself and our disabled Mom.

Quoting MommaVoo:

BIL drowned this year(survived) and ended up losing both his legs below the knee, he has since turned 18 so very young. He was in the hospital for weeks, touch and go at first as he was in an induced coma because he wasn't breathing for 3 minutes before they revived him. He is doing fairly well and will be fitted with legs soon and seems to have zero brain issues fromt he 3 min plus coma. We live on the other side of the US so werent able to do much but offer our support from a far. Got tickets for my MIL to come out and see her first granddaughter be born and have a small vacation. 

The best thing you can do is just be there for all involved and help with whatever is needed.



CafeMom Tickers
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN