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MY almost 13 yr old is a liar!!!!!

Posted by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:19 AM
  • 63 Replies
1 mom liked this

So apparently my almost 13 yr old has a girlfriend. ( He knows that he is not allowed to start dating until he is at least 16).  I just found this out.  So the other night I get this phone call and I answer it and the girl asks for K.  I ask who it is becaue no girl should be calling asking for him.  She says K's friend (in a little rude snotty attitude).  I told her that he isn't allowed to have phone calls so she hangs up.  So last night I had to go and run an errand.  I was only gone maybe 10 minutes and I come home and he is on the phone ( he isn't allowed to use the phone without asking).  I ask who he is talking nto and he said he was talking to his sister, well ok if it's his sister.  My other son comes and whispers that it's not his sister but it's his girlfriend. I"M TICKED OFF NOW.  So I tell him that I need to ask his sister a question and he lies and says it's his brother.  That's when I let him know that I know who it is and to get off the phone.  Apparenty lately everytime he has been asking to call his sister he has been calling this girl. I don't know that to do with him anymore.  We have been having problems with him lying, stealing smoking cigs and pot.

Let me say that he is not my bio child.  I have legal guardianship of him.  Been helping raise him since he was a baby. 



its a boyVicky



by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NDADanceMom
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:46 AM
12 moms liked this

Are you serious?  He cant use the phone without asking?  Im a pretty strict mom and my kids can not date until 16 as well but my kids can use the phone and get calls from the opposite sex!  Tonight my daughters good friend (male) is coming into town for the holidays.  We are in Minnesota and he lives in florida, his grandma lives 2 doors down.  They facetime daily, and because I allow it its right in front of me.  I know what they talk about and how long they talk.  There is no sneaking because I trust my daughter to act like a lady and know that at 12 years old boys are for friends only, not dating.  

I have known this boys mom since I was in 2nd grade and she agrees no dating but also helps monitor the conversations.  You forced your son to be sneaky and now you have no clue what is going on.  Let him use the phone and you can hear what he is talking about!

emmy526
by Emmy on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:47 AM

Why can't he talk to a girl on the phone?

Milsmum
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe ur being a bit too hard? If he feels he cant talk to u then he will keep things from u.
nooneexciting
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 7:56 AM
7 moms liked this
I'd lie too if I were being that suffocated.

Have you tried compromising a little bit with say, supervision?

Completely forbidding things at that age is asking for rebellion. I am not saying you should sit down and smoke a bowl with the kid, but maybe barter phone privileges for chores? Say he can go on supervised dates if he quits the smoking business?

gavs4boys
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting emmy526:

Why can't he talk to a girl on the phone?

It's not that he can't talk to a girl on the phone, it's the sneaking around to do it.  This is why he can't talk to her on the phone.  K has Fetal alcohol effect and immature for his age also. He does not make good decisions.  It's more to keep him safe than anything.

its a boyVicky



gavs4boys
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:06 AM

No I'm not.  It's the fact that he is sneaking around doing things.  He is immature for his age (he has fetal alcohol effect and some other issues).  It would be a little different if he was upfront with me.  He knows he can't date until he is 16.  I have talked to him about the whole dating thing and being open with me.

Quoting Milsmum:

Maybe ur being a bit too hard? If he feels he cant talk to u then he will keep things from u.


its a boyVicky



gavs4boys
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:07 AM

It's not suffocating him. He knows he can't date until he is 16.  Like I said in a previous reply he has issues so I have to take that into consideration.

Quoting nooneexciting:

I'd lie too if I were being that suffocated.

Have you tried compromising a little bit with say, supervision?

Completely forbidding things at that age is asking for rebellion. I am not saying you should sit down and smoke a bowl with the kid, but maybe barter phone privileges for chores? Say he can go on supervised dates if he quits the smoking business?


its a boyVicky



3jellybeans
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:08 AM
I'm guessing he feels like he has to lie. I have a 15 year old (16 in jan) and we went through the same type of thing for about two years. I finally told her I was done dealing with her lies and that she could do what she wanted (I know not my best moment) but it worked out cause it turns out she wasn't doing anything bad!!! She was just being a teen and too scared to tell me. We have a much better relationship now. Don't get me wrong, it's not in my personality to not know what's going on or have rules, I'm still pretty strict about her keeping me informed, However I am letting her have some freedom and we are both happier for it :) good luck!
emmy526
by Emmy on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:08 AM

you said:


Quote:

 I told her that he isn't allowed to have phone calls so she hangs up. 

that is saying he cannot make or take phone calls...and why shouldnt a girl call him? maybe she had trouble with homework...

Quoting gavs4boys:

Quoting emmy526:

Why can't he talk to a girl on the phone?

It's not that he can't talk to a girl on the phone, it's the sneaking around to do it.  This is why he can't talk to her on the phone.  K has Fetal alcohol effect and immature for his age also. He does not make good decisions.  It's more to keep him safe than anything.



RoseWildflower
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:08 AM
I wouldn't allow my 13 yo to have a girlfriend either. I wonder if the girls parents know, i'll be damned if my daughter had a bf at that age.

Teens now a days lose their virginity way too soon and it's mostly around 12-15. It irks me.

So, my children will only be allowed to date after the age of 16.
My house, my rules :)
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