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I've got myself in a mess.. I need opinions!!

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:53 PM
  • 72 Replies

I have made a royal mess of my life in the last month. My husband and I were separated and I slept with someone else, then we decided to work things out and I slept with my husband. Now I'm pregnant. Please do not judge or bash me this was not like me AT ALL but things happen. All I need opinions on is the situation at hand... who's most likely the father. (never thought I would say those words) here's the scoop.. I started my last period around November 2nd. I slept with my friend on November 16th. We stopped in the middle he did not ejaculate. I slept with my husband on November 25th and took a test today. I have always showed on the test very early.  I'm afraid the doctor won't be able to give me a close enough conception date with the two being so close. Please someone help put my mind at ease!!

edit: actually it was November 5th that I started my last period

by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
natural_s
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:00 PM
4 moms liked this

I am sorry you are in that situation but the best thing to do would be to be honest with both men (I know it will be hard considering your married to one of them) and get a DNA test after the baby is born. You may end up going through it especially with your husband but trying to guess and assume who is the father could only cause more problems later on.

I don't think anyone would be able to tell you without a dna test who is the father as your due date is based on estimation not an exact fact and you were with both men at a close date.

I wish you the best but that is all I got for advice and my opinion honesty would be the best way to go.

shiningjoy
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:03 PM

Honestly need more info, how long are your cycles usually? That can make a big difference.  When they do an ultra sound they can get a better idea how far along you are.  It will be hard though, I would suggest being honest with them both and do DNA testing unless your husband just wants to claim it either way

j.johnson0909
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:04 PM
3 moms liked this

I've already told my husband. He knew beforehand about what happened but we've discussed the possibilities and things aren't good, but I couldn't keep it from him. It might ruin my marriage but I made the bad decision so its only fair to give him the choice of dealing with it with me or not even if we weren't together. I'm just looking for peace of mind I suppose.

Quoting natural_s:

I am sorry you are in that situation but the best thing to do would be to be honest with both men (I know it will be hard considering your married to one of them) and get a DNA test after the baby is born. You may end up going through it especially with your husband but trying to guess and assume who is the father could only cause more problems later on.

I don't think anyone would be able to tell you without a dna test who is the father as your due date is based on estimation not an exact fact and you were with both men at a close date.

I wish you the best but that is all I got for advice and my opinion honesty would be the best way to go.


j.johnson0909
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:06 PM

I have been more regular since my last baby. 28-30 days usually from start of one to start of the next. And I've already told my husband. I'm just freaking out because we have been trying so hard the last couple weeks to work on things now this. I'm an idiot and I feel horrible

Quoting shiningjoy:

Honestly need more info, how long are your cycles usually? That can make a big difference.  When they do an ultra sound they can get a better idea how far along you are.  It will be hard though, I would suggest being honest with them both and do DNA testing unless your husband just wants to claim it either way


Belovedmoonpixi
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

the conception date the doctor{s give you is the one of your last period.  Based on my limited recollection of "the rythm", your fertile period would have been from the 11th-19th, but that depends on the usual length of your cycles... I´d say wait and do a DNA.

shiningjoy
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:09 PM

when was the last time before that that you slept with your husband?  Because that is only 7 days.  There is a chance it could be your husbands but that is cutting it really close

j.johnson0909
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:13 PM

It had been about 3-4 months since I was with my husband before I was with the other guy the one time. I have only been with the 2 of them once each in the last month. Is it very likely to get pregnant if the guy does not finish at all? I know its possible, but just wondering about the likely hood of it

Quoting shiningjoy:

when was the last time before that that you slept with your husband?  Because that is only 7 days.  There is a chance it could be your husbands but that is cutting it really close


shiningjoy
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:17 PM

Yup, from my understanding precum actually has a higher consentration of sperm than actual ejaculation.  It only takes one.  I would call the doctors and explain your situation to them.  They can't do an ultrasound till you are atleast 6 weeks though.  They might be able to get a better idea, but that is so close....

Quoting j.johnson0909:

It had been about 3-4 months since I was with my husband before I was with the other guy the one time. I have only been with the 2 of them once each in the last month. Is it very likely to get pregnant if the guy does not finish at all? I know its possible, but just wondering about the likely hood of it

Quoting shiningjoy:

when was the last time before that that you slept with your husband?  Because that is only 7 days.  There is a chance it could be your husbands but that is cutting it really close



jconney80
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:19 PM
I'm really sorry that you're struggling with this. It's always possible to get pregnant even without ejaculation but it's really so hard to tell that close together. I wish there was an easy answer. I'd just do a DNA test

Quoting j.johnson0909:

It had been about 3-4 months since I was with my husband before I was with the other guy the one time. I have only been with the 2 of them once each in the last month. Is it very likely to get pregnant if the guy does not finish at all? I know its possible, but just wondering about the likely hood of it

Quoting shiningjoy:

when was the last time before that that you slept with your husband?  Because that is only 7 days.  There is a chance it could be your husbands but that is cutting it really close


Sunshine2plus2
by Sunshine on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:20 PM

They usually date around 14 days from the start of your period. So I would say not your husband.

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