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Children sexually abused by their fathers

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 12:29 AM
  • 17 Replies
Help!! I need support and advice. My daughter who is now 6 came to me at 5 and told me in grave detail out of the blue what her father had done to her. To make a long story short he has been in jail since February of this year and basically calling her a liar. We have a 9 day trial scheduled for next month. I'm hardly eating, not sleeping, my anxiety level is through the roof! I've started having seizures since this happened and as of Friday am no longer employed "leave of absence" until I'm better. I have so much anger built up and at a loss for what to do. My 6 year old has to take to stand in front of strangers and her father next month and I'm a wreck. Yes they have been in counseling, no I have not. I need to talk to Someone who has been through this. I need help!! Their father and I were together for 10 years, we were 2 weeks shy of our 2 year wedding anniversary when he was incarcerated. How did I not know or see? Feeling like such a failure of a parent. Help!!
by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 12:29 AM
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by Member on Dec. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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There is a group of bikers that escort children to court in these sort of cases to help them feel safe and brave. Don't recall the name but google might be helpful. Don't even know if it's available where you are but it's my first thought. Good luck and I'm sorry you are going through this!
by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 5:02 AM

Hello there. I don't have any real advice, only some kind words.

I haven't been through this as an adult, but I went through it as a child. My foster sister was molested by her father when she was four. It was the hardest situation I ever had to go through with my family, I was 12 at the time. It was scary, and sickening, and everyone felt horrible during the trials. But my foster mother & sister got through it, and they have an incredible life today. They are very close and live great lives. 

Stay strong. Much love. 

by Amanda on Dec. 8, 2013 at 5:19 AM
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 Does the Prosecutor's office have a Victim's Assistance program?  Ours does.  They handle help and advice for the victims and the parents of those who have been molested.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2013 at 10:16 AM

I am so sorry you are going through this! CafeMom has a list of resources that may help! Member Resources

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by New Member on Dec. 8, 2013 at 10:28 AM
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 hi i am so sorry u and your daughter are going thru this i had to do the same thing i was a bit older and it is the scariest thing in the world you may be able to talk to the judge so that she dont have to testify while he is in the room it could be in the judges chambers  with the laywers and the judge  and you it may help her feel safer  with my dad he did pleed guilty but got out of it with just losing his job as a school bus driver and i got put in foster care  my mom knew and participated in the abuse  but anyway that was 19 years ago. try not to make your self sick over it your no good to her if you cant function  if u need someone to talk to me pm me. your doing a great job and you got this

by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 10:28 AM
Get in touch with your local domestic violence office. They do deal with rape and things of that nature. They also have advocates that can go to court with you for support. The great thing is most have a 24 hour hotline that you can call to talk, get information, whatever you need. They can also help you get money if you need it to move, pay bills, whatever you need they are there for you. The
They have counselors available for you as well. I have never been through this, but i was your daughters age when i was raped by a family. Your daughter needs you. Be strong and keep her strong.
by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 10:51 AM

Hello missmishad,

Normally i am an open minded person.

want to share my personal experience growing up with my mother and my siblings.

My mom left me & my siblings with her loser friends. we were sexually abuse and taken away from my mother 

custody after my uncle rescue us before passing away at 41. We were put in foster care with our immediate

families. My mom as women never,nerver apologize for her careless actions. I have forgiven her but not forgotten to what she put my sinlings and i through.

Being a single first time mom,however i can never leave my daughter with a stranger. I am very protective with my baby girl who's a toddler.

Her father is a piece of SHIT and a deadbeat.

I have not forgiven him. All you need is GOD.

pray and everything will be okay.

Let go,Let GOD.

GOD HEALS...................

by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2013 at 11:08 AM
Divorce the boy.get an order of protection.u are too good of a person to stay with child molestor.counseling should be in place for everyone.this isn't your fault.when I was younger it was a nieghbor I'm really cautious about my kids and what they tell me I take seriously.other people can't face the truth or are uncaring of such a harsh situation.GOD takes your pain super serious and he was my answer.
by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 11:15 AM

you dont need to feel like that , it wasnt your fault i know that you felt like you should of known but you proberbly never would of thought that could happen, did you ever  notice your daughter being distant towards her father or uncomforable ariund him? theres really no way to get around that situation because if your daughter said it was him, wheither  it was him or someone else she is protecting, because she might be afraid to say, you have to listen to her and protect her no matter what ,   she needs your support .

by on Dec. 8, 2013 at 1:19 PM
This didn't happen to me but I knew two different families that it did happen to. Keep your head up high sweetie for your dear daughter and go to God for your answers and comfort
There is where you will find it. I hope this man pays for what he has done to this precious little girl.
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