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'Twas the month after Christmas

Posted by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:16 AM
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

Twas the month after Christmas, 
 and all through the house,
 
 Nothing would fit me,
 
 not even a blouse.
 

The cookies I'd nibbled,
 
 the chocolate I'd taste
 
 At the holiday parties
 
 had gone to my waist.
 

When I got on the scales
 
there arose such a number!
 
When I walked to the store
 
(less a walk than a lumber),
 
treadmill
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
 
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
 
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
 
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
 

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
 
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
 
I said to myself, as I only can,
 
"You can't spend a Summer, disguised as a man!"
 

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
 
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
 
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
 
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
 

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
 
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
 
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
 
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
 
But isn't that what January is for?
 
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
 
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.
 

by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:16 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Paperfishies
by Platinum Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:19 AM
Ha! Isn't that shit the truth!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 4:08 AM

A little pre Chrismas humor.

Quoting Paperfishies: Ha! Isn't that shit the truth!


hugss
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 12:31 PM
1 mom liked this

LOL .. so true :)

letstalk747
by Joy on Dec. 23, 2013 at 12:47 PM

sidesplittinglaughter  fo sho

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:36 PM

christmas tree

jkleinman
by <3munchkin's mama<3 on Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM
Lol.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Dec. 23, 2013 at 4:23 PM
LOL
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