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Trapped

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 5:36 PM
  • 11 Replies
Don't get me wrong I love my husband we've been together 5 years married for 4 but I feel trapped he's on probation now for beating me up while he was drunk he's taking counseling and classes to help himself and although there has been no other physical abuse there's lots of verbal abuse and threats! Idk what to do I have two handsome little boys and I'm a stay at home mom and although I want out of this marriage because it's far from healthy for anyone financially I'm stuck!!
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by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 5:36 PM
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Talk to family, friends.  See if they could help you.  Then you can talk to department of social and health services to see if you could qualify for any help to get back on feet after leaving an abusive relationship.  Has he always acted like this or a recent thing?

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this

It is time to get out. If you don't have family or friends or a clergy person who can help, find out what social services are available, including lawyer services to find out what you need to do to protect yourself and children.

Danimeohmy2
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 9:41 PM
He's always had anger problems but never towards me till about a year ago now it's always me who gets the brunt of it! I don't have family or friends to help I've asked everyone I know to ask and no one can help. But he traps me also I have no vehicle and no job and he uses that against me when I try to leave.
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this

1-800-799-7233  (SAFE)  Is a national number for help with violence.  You need to get help. If you don't have a church, then maybe call a church and ask the pastor there for suggestions or referral to a women's shelter.

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 9:47 PM
2 moms liked this
Mrs.MikeC
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Leave, don't look back.

I read one time that if you stay you are teaching your boys that it's okay to be abusive and girls it's okay to take the abuse. I think that's the best advice I've ever heard!

Good luck! ((Hugs))
_Meg_
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:05 AM

I know how that feels...I got out of an extremely unhealthy and abusive marriage. I remember when I was still there with him, how I felt stuck, how scared I was, how I didn't know which direction to go in. I finally just up and left with my daughter...I called my dad and asked him to come get me. I had to live with my crazy mother for 6 months, which was almost as bad as being with my ex, but at least I was on the road to a better future! I could finally see some light in that tunnel. And it had been SO dark for SO long. 

You aren't stuck. I know you feel like you are, and it isn't going to be easy, but you CAN get out. There are women's shelters...you may have to do a lot of calling around to find one that can house you and your children, depending on how full any of them are. Or, do you have anyone you can stay with, anyone who can help you? First thing is getting out...once you do that, the rest will fall into place as long as you have help. The govt and your state have programs for women like you (like us, I should say). 

To stay would be an injustice to yourself and your sons. You don't want them growing up thinking it's okay to treat THEIR women the way they always saw their dad treat you, right? Or treating YOU the way their dad does. Or causing them stress. Don't feel guilty, just hold your head up and look forward. You've endured all kinds of abuse...if you can get through all that and still have your strong spirit, you can leave and do well in life. You will be able to go to college and someday have a career so you can support yourself and your sons! 

I look back now and I am SO thankful that I left. I can't even believe that I stayed as long as I did. But I finally got MYSELF back. You can do it too. 

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to get out. Look for some local help
((Hugs))
Danimeohmy2
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:38 AM
I appreciate all of your advice I'm in so much deeper then that it's not just my husband that holds me here but his mother you wouldn't believe the threats of violence and harsh words I've heard from her and also the things she tells my 6 year old son that should be for adults ears only! I'm reAlly lost and scared at this point
Danimeohmy2
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:38 AM
I appreciate all of your advice I'm in so much deeper then that it's not just my husband that holds me here but his mother you wouldn't believe the threats of violence and harsh words I've heard from her and also the things she tells my 6 year old son that should be for adults ears only! I'm reAlly lost and scared at this point
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