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Is having friends of the opposite sex really such a big deal?

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 3:26 PM
  • 25 Replies

 My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex and it's really not an issue for us but my neighbor was just ranting earlier about her husband's female friend. She says men and women can't really be friends and that the woman is only out for one thing from her husband. Now she may be right about this particular woman, but do you think it's such a bad thing to have friends of the opposite sex?

 
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by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gilbertgrl627
by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2014 at 3:40 PM

Usually not. I have guy friends that I've known for a while (DH and I actually lived with them for a few years). But, it can be a problem. DH has a female friend (coworker) that I had a bad feeling about from Day 1. Now it's been about a year and a half, and I really dislike her. He has backed off being friends with her, but will be friendly because they work in the same department (and it's a very small department). She has tried to manipulate him at almost every turn (her boyfriend broke up with her and suddenly my DH was her best friend), and tried to make him feel like he was a bad friend because he has a family (and couldn't drop everything to hang out with her or help her with something trivial). She also tried to blame me for him not having friends (he's an introvert and doesn't make friends easily). She said something about him not being "allowed" to have friends for so long, he doesn't know how. Ugh, sometimes I want to punch her. But, she's young and doesn't get it. She thinks she has it all figured out and, well, she doesn't. Not even close.

lol, Sorry for my little rant. I came across an old message from her (to me) and it just made me a little angry. But, yes, with some boundaries, they can be friends. Obviously you don't want it to look like an inappropriate relationship (spending more time with this friend than your SO, or even hiding things from your SO). If everything is open, and the friendship is an open book, then there shouldn't be a problem.

alliweben
by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it is a wonderful thing to have good friends of the opposite sex.   I always have and so has my husband.    Men and women really can be friends!   

LoveMyBug2013
by Member on Jan. 17, 2014 at 3:44 PM

Not if you have a solid, trusting relationship.  Actually, some of our closest friends are gay, so it's me and 3 guys. Not a big deal.  I would hang out with one of them alone sometimes too when I was home on maternity.

jconney80
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2014 at 4:03 PM
My husband and I don't have emotional relationships with members of the opposite sex. We have friends that we know together like couples and do things all together. We have a few childhood friends that we know on Facebook but that's really the extent of our relationship with members of the opposite sex. We're not controlling of each other but we just feel like it's not appropriate. Plus we are very busy with 3 kids! We barely even get a date night!
charleyangel317
by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 4:12 PM

 I think it is healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. Dh and I do and it gives us someone to go to for advice from the opposite sex.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this
As long as there is trust, I see no issue with it. Me amd my hubby both have friends of the opposite sex. To us it is totally fine. Why ditch your friends because your with someone? All depends on maturity levels i guess.
armygirl16
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 3:18 AM

 Most of my friends are guys.  My husband and I play board games at a bar every Wednesday night.  I have made many friends there (they are all guys).  We have gone hiking with one and his son and I have rock climbed with him at the bouldering gym.  Another couple guys we went to a haunted house with and then played a board game at a bar afterwards. 

My DH and I also are in an adult kickball league and a flag football league.  They are co-ed so my husband and I have friends from the opposite sex in both groups.  We usually have the same friends (because we get along with the same type of people). 

withsecond
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 11:25 AM
This, even down to the three kids and no time for date nights!

Quoting jconney80: My husband and I don't have emotional relationships with members of the opposite sex. We have friends that we know together like couples and do things all together. We have a few childhood friends that we know on Facebook but that's really the extent of our relationship with members of the opposite sex. We're not controlling of each other but we just feel like it's not appropriate. Plus we are very busy with 3 kids! We barely even get a date night!
RheaF
by Sweet Insanity on Jan. 18, 2014 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this

 This is ua as well. It has nothing to do with control, or unhealthy relationship. It is just that we don't feel it is right for us. We never really had close friends of the opposite sex anyway, so it was never an issue.

Quoting jconney80: My husband and I don't have emotional relationships with members of the opposite sex. We have friends that we know together like couples and do things all together. We have a few childhood friends that we know on Facebook but that's really the extent of our relationship with members of the opposite sex. We're not controlling of each other but we just feel like it's not appropriate. Plus we are very busy with 3 kids! We barely even get a date night!

 

SnapIt
by Movin' on up on Jan. 18, 2014 at 11:42 AM
I dont know how some people have such shitty will power, not to be able to be friends with the opposite sex.

Ive been friends with many guys and have never even looked at them and batted my lashes. Visa versa
Its all respectable friendships.
Most are single guys too.
My SO the same
I dont go telling him he cant be friends with females he was friends with before i came around.

Couples shouldnt only have other couples for friends. Thats ridiculous and a self esteem issue if they dont want their SO having friends of the opposite sex.
Plus you shouldnt be telling your SO who can or cannot be their friends.
Thats controlling and immature
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