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Stuck lonely married with children

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:30 PM
  • 10 Replies
I will try to make this short.
I am 38, DH is 52. We have three kids. One is his, one is mine, one is ours. Together for 8 years married 7. Both work FT. He comes home and cooks dinner, works on his hobbies, I clean and do the motherly needed stuff. I am in bed at 10:30 he sleeps on the couch nightly. In the morning I get up get kids ready, he waits till last minute and goes out the door. On our days off he does his thing...air field an garage work. I do church, or cleaning, running errands. We do nothing together. Don't really have emotional conversations or special times.
How do I know if this is enough. Our bills are paid no debt, we are all healthy. I am just imaging being this lonely for the rest of my life. Maybe I am expecting g to much. We love each other. Just seems are priorities are the same but are interest is not with each other anymore.
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM
Why does he sleep in the couch.
Javamom00
by Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:47 PM
He has done it for about four years now. He only comes to bed when he wants to cuddle..about once every two or three weeks.
dingysfamily
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Not much of a marriage, IMO anyway.  Have  you tried talking to him about how you feel and letting him know how lonely you feel?  I think some heavy duty discussions are in order and very possibily some counselling.

Sades0605
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 2:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I would try talking to him and see how he feels about the situation. He might not think anything is wrong! I also don't think you are over thinking it. It does sound a bit lonely. I hope it does get better for you!
DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this

First rule that would need to change is sleeping in separate rooms, we don't allow it our marriage unless there is a need, such as snoring.

Second rule, start dating again!! You two are always busy, but not with each other, find time to get out alone without the kids or friends or co-workers, go out on a "date". 

Thirdly, C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T!!!! Talk to each other! Ask him how his day went, actually talk to him about how you feel. 

Good luck.

Jbinluvbtx3
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM
Did you talk to him about it?
I would sit down and have a conversation about the relationship if you r not happy with things and if your both not happy then do something.
withsecond
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:54 PM
I would stop the sleeping on the couch business. I'd also make time to sit and talk to each other or at the very least, have dinner together.
MaryAllen
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 4:04 PM

  I am very sorry to hear  that you are going through this!

Javamom00
by Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 5:39 PM
I have tried over n over again about the couch thing. He always says it's because he falls asleep watching a movie...but we have a tv in our room

Babysitter: we moved to Florida where I have no family nor any real friends they are all ppl I have met as business contacts.

On our days off he only wants to take one kid or go by himself to the RC air plane field. For most of the day.

We talk about small stuff how was work, or his latest plane venture. Nothing really else





Javamom00
by Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 5:40 PM
I have tried over n over again about the couch thing. He always says it's because he falls asleep watching a movie...but we have a tv in our room

Babysitter: we moved to Florida where I have no family nor any real friends they are all ppl I have met as business contacts.

On our days off he only wants to take one kid or go by himself to the RC air plane field. For most of the day.

We talk about small stuff how was work, or his latest plane venture. Nothing really else





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