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My 16 year old daughter told me she lost her virginity to her 18 year old boyfriend two weeks ago. I'm not thrilled obviously but she insists she's going to do it whether I like it or not. She's on the pill and he says he always carries condoms.
Last week I got a call from the school that they were caught naked in the back seat of his car parked in a remote lot. They are in huge trouble with the school over it. Then last night, she was late getting home and I found them parked behind a church.
Here's my question. They are obviously going to have sex but they have no safe place to do it. Should I let them do it in her room? I don't want to give them permission but I don't want them having to register as sex offenders if they get caught in a public area. Help!!
by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 3:10 PM
Replies (31-40):
mom_dl6
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:12 PM

I'm at a loss here !

KawfeeKathy63
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 6:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 Many teens have sex whether we want them to or not.  The main thing is to keep the communication open and make sure they are protected.  I have allowed my 16 yr olds bf to sleep over but I based it on the fact that they've been together over 2 years and they are both responsible.  It really is whether you are comfortable with him sleeping over or not.  GL.

maryhen
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:15 AM
1 mom liked this

I come from a huge family, lots of siblings. We weren´t allowed to have sex in our house of course, our house was huge and we always found a spot to do it and it helped that our parents were never home and our "aupairs" or "nannies" were in charge. We had an aupair who was really squared and caught me and two of my brothers  having sex (not with eachother of course, but she caught all of us the ame week)  she told my parents and we got in big trouble, any way, I ended up doing it in cars, public bathrooms, his house, friends´house, and whenever he had cash instead of credit cards we would go to sketchy motels, got in trouble twice and it was too risky. 

I wouldn´t tell her she can do it at home, but I would play dumb and pretend I dont know they are doing it. Doing it at sketchy places is risky, not just getting caught breaking the law,  you never know, there is bad people around us and someone could easily find your daughter in a very vulnerable situation and take advantage of it. 

Karmahappens
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:21 AM

 

Quoting Bisciutsmom40: It wasn't during school. She's in a play and they practice late into the evening. She was already grounded and he drove to the school and she left play rehearsal to see him. He is a senior at the same school.
I definitely don't want to give them permission but I guess see sex differently. It's a basic biological drive and if they're going to do it regardless of what anybody says, I don't want it to ruin their lives.

Quoting kadensmomma0708:

Im not really sure how to respond to this.....Do you want them having sex in your house?  Do you have other kids? I know that would bother me, because it would be giving her permission.  DOes she know she can be a offender for it?  I just feel like if you are adult enough to have sex, you are adult enough to handle all the responsibilites that comes with it, like finding a place....that isnt a school parking lot.  Why wasnt she in school?  Does he go to school there, or has he graduated?  I would be pissed she left school to have sex, and got caught.   Your problem is you are too worried about being her friend, I would have had words with her and her boyfriend for gettin caught fuckin in the school parking lot.....Sigh. Best of luck though.

 AFTER she got caught having sex in apublic place (and skipping rehersal) you then let her go out with him the next week?

Why isn't she grounded for a few weeks?  In fact if that were my kid she would be going to schooland coming home. NO extra curriculars.

susanparsons
by New Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 8:18 AM
2 moms liked this
When my daughter was 16 I came home unexpectedly and caught her in bed with her boyfriend. Both were bare assed naked and I was furious. First of all, they should have been at school. Nobody is having sex in my house but me! If your daughters new boyfriend is 18, then that's statutoryrape wwhether your daughter agrees or not. Sounds like she's beginning to make some bad decisions so you need to show her your still the mom so don't make it easy on them. I'm raising a 3 year old grandson and she doesn't give him the time of day.personally I'd call & report that 18 or old boy & show your daughter your not going to stand for it. Get ready for the fight of the century though from your daughter. Hand in there. Hope everything works out for you.
susanparsons
by New Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 8:55 AM
Hell yes korra2013. I couldn't have said it any better! My daughter dropped out at 16, she didn't go to school anyway and I was actually getting tickets from school cop for her truancy. After about $1000, I let her drop out. She refused to respect my rules so she move out at 17, in with 25 year old drunk & dope head. I was so proud. Can't tell you how many times she called me to come get her because they were fighting. He actually charged at me one time ready to kick my ass. My s
Daughter jump between us & landed at least 10 blows to his face. Broke his nose too. Needless to say I never went over there without calling police first.

Quoting korra2013: I would have smacked her damn teeth out of her mouth. There is no way in hell i would allow my underage child to have sex in my home. If she is doing it at school then you need to change her schools. Do whatever it takes. If she insists then i would tell her either marry his ass and get out of my house or its boot camp.
NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I personally would not let my daughter be unsupervised with this boy.  He shows great disrespect for her by humping her in the school parking lot.  He is no gentleman.  They would be hanging out under supervision or not at all.  He just wants to get laid and your daughter is letting him use her, while you find ways to make it easier.  great job mom.

NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:52 AM

responsible teens focus on school, not getting laid.  just saying. 

Quoting KawfeeKathy63:

 Many teens have sex whether we want them to or not.  The main thing is to keep the communication open and make sure they are protected.  I have allowed my 16 yr olds bf to sleep over but I based it on the fact that they've been together over 2 years and they are both responsible.  It really is whether you are comfortable with him sleeping over or not.  GL.


Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:53 AM
Fuck no. At no point in time for any reason would I allow my teenager to have sex in my house.
kadensmomma0708
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:02 AM


Sheclearly has no regard for any rules.  She is grounded, left where she was supposed to be to go have sex.  Stop making excuses for her...

Quoting Bisciutsmom40: It wasn't during school. She's in a play and they practice late into the evening. She was already grounded and he drove to the school and she left play rehearsal to see him. He is a senior at the same school.
I definitely don't want to give them permission but I guess see sex differently. It's a basic biological drive and if they're going to do it regardless of what anybody says, I don't want it to ruin their lives.

Quoting kadensmomma0708:

Im not really sure how to respond to this.....Do you want them having sex in your house?  Do you have other kids? I know that would bother me, because it would be giving her permission.  DOes she know she can be a offender for it?  I just feel like if you are adult enough to have sex, you are adult enough to handle all the responsibilites that comes with it, like finding a place....that isnt a school parking lot.  Why wasnt she in school?  Does he go to school there, or has he graduated?  I would be pissed she left school to have sex, and got caught.   Your problem is you are too worried about being her friend, I would have had words with her and her boyfriend for gettin caught fuckin in the school parking lot.....Sigh. Best of luck though.


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