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My 16 year old daughter told me she lost her virginity to her 18 year old boyfriend two weeks ago. I'm not thrilled obviously but she insists she's going to do it whether I like it or not. She's on the pill and he says he always carries condoms.
Last week I got a call from the school that they were caught naked in the back seat of his car parked in a remote lot. They are in huge trouble with the school over it. Then last night, she was late getting home and I found them parked behind a church.
Here's my question. They are obviously going to have sex but they have no safe place to do it. Should I let them do it in her room? I don't want to give them permission but I don't want them having to register as sex offenders if they get caught in a public area. Help!!
by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 3:10 PM
Replies (51-60):
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 6:07 PM

I just read a post from this mom whose som is 18 and dating a 14 year old. She said that it is ok and the police won't do anything about it because it legal!!

Quoting virgochild79:

So basically you've set ZERO boundaries. I mean come on, she's only 16 years old. If she's ditching school to go and have sex, I'd have the police on her ass dragging her back to school,,,,,,WAIT A MINUTE,,,,,you said he's 18? Uh, have you heard of the word rape? His little 18 year old ass wouldn't be near my daughter! You need to control this situation. You'd be doing nothing but setting yourself up to be grandma in 9 months if you let your CHILD have sex in your home. Come on now, seriously? OMG

by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:39 PM

I sure hope you don't end up being a grandma before your time OP! YIKES!

by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:44 PM
I wouldn't allow it. Why does ppl do it before marriage anyways?
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:49 PM
let dem do it knowinly 2 u nd 2 avoied disgrace
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:12 PM
No, I would not give them permission to have sex in my house.
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:31 PM

well id say that did your parent have you go in your room to have sex? im sure they will fiqure that out for themselves, we all did.

by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:53 PM
2 moms liked this

Being the mother of a teen is challenging because I have a 17 year old son but the fact that she told you she is having sex is a positive, the fact that she is using protection hopefully every time is a positive the negative is that she is doing it in public places and getting caught.  Every child is different and what I mean is that one girl a mother could say "I think your to young and he is to old ..ect and she could be the tpye who listens and obeys but this girl is saying "I am going to do it anyway mom"  So I am not saying that its right to say "If your going to do it anyway and you keep getting caught outside then use your own bedroom" but it's not the worst thing in the world either.  In this day and age  your lucky your daughter waited until she was 16 to start I have known many younger girls who have had multiple partners by the time they are 16 and they didn't use protection.  I dont know what else you could say to her except that sex is special between two people and honestly if you are going to do that then he is old enough to take you to a hotel and treat you with more respect than the back seat of a car.  

by New Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 11:38 PM
Ok i would totally flip but i remember my sister was an out of control... well hormones had the say to her vagina so my mom sent her away to family member 2000 miles away
by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 12:25 AM
3 moms liked this
I will be the odd ball here but if your daughter is open about being active with her boyfriend and she is being safe then I don't see a problem with you giving the ok for her room. She's going to do it regardless. Other countries have really low teen pregnancy rates because the parents are open with their kids about sex.
by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 5:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't listen to this insensitive bull crap. Obviously this individual didn't have a sex drive growing up, which would allude to the fact that she wouldn't understand 'when theres a will theres a way' Don't underestimate the power of teenage hormones when not kept in check. Kids will always find a way. Guaranteed. No matter what you do. They will lie to you when they are scared of the consequences of their actions. Your responsibility is to educate them on consequences and prevention. Take her to a sexual health clinic on a regular basis. There must be clinics and workshops around you you can look up. The more you make it taboo, the more she will try to bend the rules. You have to equip her with tools knowing that she is going to do it anyway. Maybe in this self discovery period, she may find that the 'tools' you have equipped her with may just be her best defence in making more responsible decisions. It always helps if you have your own story to tell and if you don't - make it up about a friend you know. You need to be a friend per se to accomplish this approach. You just need to be trusted, and respected.

Quoting momofcourse:

This is the stupidest post I have seen.  Don't want your 16 year old to have sex?  Don't give her the freedom to do it.  Aren't you the parent here?  Who cares if she hates you for it now, set boundaries and don't let her out of the house if you have to.  If they are caught somewhere like school, let them suffer the consequences from that and then pile more on yourself.  Damn, no wonder we have so many teen pregnancies.

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