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UNDECIDED, CONFUSED 1st Time Mom to Be

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:25 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hello all! I am a 26 year old first time mom to be. I didn't discover I was pregnant until a month ago, which indicated that I was already 2 months along. I was devastated and upset, to say the least because I conceived while taking the pill FAITHFULLY. To make matters worse, my boyfriend and I are not on the best of terms and since first discovering our baby news, I have been considering placing our child for adoption. My child's father is in total opposition to me doing this. This situation is not ideal, as I would like to parent; but I have always been a structured person and wanted to have things in order before bringing a child into the world (ie. owning a home, finishing school, being married, etc). Things are even more complex because my child's father got evicted a week after learning that we were having a baby and his life is in total shambles right now. He is currently staying with his sister and working two jobs just to survive and care for one of his daughter's who he has custody of. He tries to be there for me and take me to appointments and to the store when he can, but I can't help but feel abandoned by him, especially now since I am going through this life changing experience and my family stays out of town. I have tried to talk to him about this, but he states that he doesn't want to be stressed and will talk to me today when he gets a chance. What should I do about our relationship and come to a decision about our baby?

Advice is much needed and appreciated! shrugging

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-6):
xtwistedxlovex
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:49 PM
1 mom liked this
An old friend got in touch with me a while back to catch up and I guess because he wanted to vent to someone who wouldn't judge. Why? Because he'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant and they decided to abort solely because they weren't happy with their current financial situation. He got a promotion and big raise very shortly thereafter and was torn up with regret over having chosen something that turned out not to be as necessary as he thought. My point here is that situations can change, sometimes very quickly, and you shouldn't base your decision solely off of them. It doesn't sound like adoption is what you want at all. Consider it carefully and be SURE it's the best choice, or chances are you're going to either change your mind after birth and leave the potential family heartbroken, or feel obligated to go through with it and be heartbroken yourself.
Rsplendid
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:55 PM

Thanks so much for your advice; I needed that. Sometimes I can be too analytical to a fault. I just need to plan accordingly and wait and see what happens. good

korra2013
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:55 PM
I agree with the above post. Anyone would be stressed in his situation. You will have to be strong for yourself. I always relied on myself during my pregnancies. My first child, his father was never there and never helped. I did it on my own. My second and third children, their dad and i had a rough relationship. We were always separated. I kept a job and held down my household. Sure i was afraid. I cried a lot and felt hopeless. Things always got better and that is what you have to hold on to. Don't lose hope.
Rsplendid
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:02 PM

Thanks..

BoopBettyBoop
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Babies are a blessing.  Take this one as that, things will work out, somehow they always have for us.

FlutterbyMom3
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:24 PM
I wouldn't not have a baby just because you haven't accomplished those things in the order you wanted to. We always find a way to deal with what we're going through. You don't want to do something you'll regret later.
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