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She is having some issues that.goes back to a very long story about her bio dad. She does not want to go into therapy. ( yes I asked her if she.wanted to ) anyways, she has a huge fear that any guy she gets close to is going to leave her because her bio dad comes and goes. She is wondering if any of you ladies have an idea that could help her get over that fear without seeing a therapist. Thanks in advance! :)
by on Feb. 11, 2014 at 6:40 PM
Replies (11-20):
happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 8:18 PM
2 moms liked this
Honestly, therapy is the best and healthiest way to resolve the issue.

My bio dad drank a lot, came and went and did some pretty terrible things. I thought I didn't need therapy either. After a string of failed relationships, I should have gone to therapy a lot sooner.
goodnightmama
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 8:23 PM
2 moms liked this
My real father left as well, he wasn't the best father either, rarely called, backed out on visitations, never paid child support, etc. I had the hardest problem with guys, I never let them get too close and always backed out rather quickly. I did actually get married when I was 19 but it has been rough. Sometimes I feel I rushed into it i pushed him away expecting him to leave, because that's what my dad did, why wouldn't my husband. He stuck by me but we fought a lot and I kept running but he kept following. Before we got married, I had asked him to show me what a real husband/man/father was suppose to be like. He tried his hardest and now 9 years later of marriage is am now finally starting to relax. Every person is different, and deals with hardship and things like this differently. If she doesn't want therapy, you need to let her find her own way, and let her come to you and be there for as she works it out.
RoseWall
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this

heres one that reminded me of this post.


Kaybean
by Kayleen on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Too many women do this. They get hurt by one man and then assume ALL men will hurt them. You need to give each man in your life an equal chance, whether that be a friend, family member, future husband, etc. They all deserve a clean slate. If you find yourself pushing people away out of fear, then maybe therapy isn't a bad idea.
TAG9lbs
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:19 PM

She just needs to do very well in school get a nice scholarship to go to an amazing college far a way from TXs.

Get out of the state of TX and maybe you'll find a man that will treat you with respect instead of slapping random women's asses on the street and tying to over power the women that won't do what the man says. 

She can find some very sweet guys in WA or CO that she won't need to know how to use a gun to go on a first date.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Umm im just a cowboys fan.. We are from Utah living in Oregon :/

Quoting TAG9lbs:

She just needs to do very well in school get a nice scholarship to go to an amazing college far a way from TXs.

Get out of the state of TX and maybe you'll find a man that will treat you with respect instead of slapping random women's asses on the street and tying to over power the women that won't do what the man says. 

She can find some very sweet guys in WA or CO that she won't need to know how to use a gun to go on a first date.

DKk0531
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I dont have any advice. Im 27 yrs old and have major men issues because of my bio dad. I wish i would have done threapy when i was younger. I just wanted to say i hope she can figure it out and work through her issues before it becomes a problem :)
PersephoneMuse
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this
When your own father- the man who's supposed to prove to you that not all men are the same- is the one that hurts you, it may be hard to get out of that mindset that all men will leave you.
I'm 17 years old as well and had the same fear because of my father. I also refused to see a therapist.
It's something you have to work out on your own. When the right person comes along, you have to decide whether they're worth the risk and let them in or if you want to continue cutting out all the men that come around.
team_porculoon
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

That is something that comes from within.  My dad left when I was 8.  I had a fear that every single person would leave, but that's not the case.  She will have to realize that not every person or every man is her dad and that there are those out there that will stay and not leave.  I think it also shapes who she is a person and what she values and projects to others as well.  What he did in leaving isn't because of her.

kit_manson
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I know the feeling. All I can say is, avoid dating people like your dad. Realize that you're worth more than that. And, don't make someone else handle your crazy. Everyone has issues, but it's not the guy's fault your dad sucks. Don't get angry at him if he didn't do anything wrong. At the same time, don't put up with his crazy. If he's purposefully hurting you, leave.

As hard as it is, don't convince yourself every guy is the one. They could be, buy you're young. Don't be too shocked if it doesn't work out.
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