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Why does this happen whenever I come into money?

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:36 PM
  • 32 Replies

My husband and I filed our taxes and my mother has been texting my husband for days asking for money, 1,600 to be exact... 

Today we get half of our taxes back and she finds out somehow and won't stop texting, so where's my money? 

I swear she does this anytime I come into any sort of money, she needs help with something EVERYTIME. Being her daughter, I always help, I've given her my last $10 to help her when I have 3 kids, and 1 on the way...I can't afford to keep handing my mother money anymore...

Our taxes are being used to purchase a new vehicle to accomidate our 4th child and to put money down on a new place to live, we live in a tiny apartment with 3 kids right now and there is simply not enough room here for another...

She puts the guilt trip on me when I don't help her with money but I'm pinching pennies as it is to support soon to be 4 children, we are making ends meet for our own family and I simply cannot afford to keep helping her...

I cannot afford to dish out 1,600 to her today, I really can't, I don't want to hear the guilt trip of how horrible I am because I won't help her...

What do I do? 

Lilypie - (1BjH)Lilypie - (e3IR)
Lilypie - (YMQ8)Lilypie - (9GKY)

by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:39 PM
Ignore her. Don't feel guilty, it is not your job. I understand this because my dad does the same kind of thing with me and I have to say no. Your family needs to come first.
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TrishyyKat
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:43 PM

She always says family sticks together. She's waiting on a disability settlement from a car accident years ago, she's about to get a lot of money to help her pay bills and whatever else she needs. She just always throws in my face how depressed she is, she's losing everything, and I end up feeling really bad because I love her and I end up giving her everything I have. I just can't do it anymore especially now that we are having our 4th child. I need everything I make to support my children, I can't support my mother anymore. It hurts me, but I just can't do it anymore!

Quoting Mommy4-27-08: Ignore her. Don't feel guilty, it is not your job. I understand this because my dad does the same kind of thing with me and I have to say no. Your family needs to come first.


Lilypie - (1BjH)Lilypie - (e3IR)
Lilypie - (YMQ8)Lilypie - (9GKY)

littlecheifsmom
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this
She's being a bully. Put your foot down.
Though I did this with my own mom ( but I could do it) if she asked for 100 I'd give 75. Mom was also a huge shopper.
lady-J-Rock
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:32 PM
2 moms liked this
Oops one of the kids must have messed with the phone and turned the volume off. Or turned it off. Or hid it. Tell her sorry it's been spent.
awesomemommy2
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:34 PM
I can't phantom why you would have another kid when its clear that you can barely afford what you have.

Tell her no. She made her bed.
xtwistedxlovex
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this
“I'm sorry, I would love to be able to help you, but I need to take care of my children first.“

Simple and to the point. You DO want to help her, but you can't. Anyone who would guilt trip you for that doesn't really deserve help in the first place, IMO.
TrishyyKat
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:49 PM

We are comfortable, we don't have extra spending money but all our needs are met at the moment until my husband gets his new job but in order to get that job we need a new reliable vehicle lol. Which is one of the things we were using our money for. 

Right now I'm supporting our family AND my parents, we help with their bills, and food, gas money, cigarette money. This is causing us to have to pinch our pennies. 

Now when we have a chunk of money to afford the things we really need right now, she's back again with the guilt trip about needing money...

Quoting awesomemommy2: I can't phantom why you would have another kid when its clear that you can barely afford what you have.

Tell her no. She made her bed.


Lilypie - (1BjH)Lilypie - (e3IR)
Lilypie - (YMQ8)Lilypie - (9GKY)

Heisenberg
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:50 PM

Time to have that hard conversation. Cut her off financially. You're priority is you and your family, she's a grown woman.

littlepinkrose
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to help your family first. Your mom is a grown woman and needs to learn how to take care of herself. Parents should not be asking there kids for money. Just tell her "mom you know that I love you very much but at this time I do not have the money to help you. We need a bigger car and we need to move to a bigger place you know this. I hope you can accept that taking care of my children and your grandchildren comes first and when I have enough I can help you but this time I do not have enough. We are barely able to make ends meet sorry." She may try to manipulate the situation but please do not feel bad for her. She is using you and playing with your emotions to make you feel sorry for. Worse you let her treat you this way. Time to stop letting mom treat you like her personal ATM you are the only one who can change this she will not.
Ktsmom618
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 2:59 PM

Family should stick together hun but she is your MOTHER not your child. She should be helping you. Not the other way around! I give my parents money when they need it because they more than help me when I need it. Everyone goes through hard times but that is not right. You shouldnt feel guilty.

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