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Valentines at School Spread Hate Not Love?? How do you feel about Valentine parties?

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:28 AM
  • 16 Replies

Valentines at School Spread Hate Not Love

by Mary Fischer

valentine cardsUgh. Valentine's Day. The older I get, the more I loathe the whole idea of it. Want to know why? Because while there are people who are all giddy and happy spending that day with the one they love, plenty of others wind up feeling alone, lost -- and with their feelings really hurt.

Especially kids. I know it's kind of a big tradition to have a party at school and pass out Valentine cards to all their friends, but doing so totally has the potential to backfire and make certain children feel upset and pretty craptastic.

Let me explain.

I will never (EVER) forget the class Valentine's Day party I had when I was somewhere around the fourth grade. We all brought in our cute little shoe boxes covered with wrapping paper, and then we were instructed to drop cards for all of our classmates in their boxes before coming back to read the ones we received.

And as I sat there opening my little envelopes, I heard a boy in my class say to his friend, "Ewww! This one's from MARY." And then he proceeded to rip it up as he sat there rolling his eyes and giggling with the other kid. Considering I'm now 36 and still have that moment burned into my brain, it's obvious that it had a pretty negative effect on my feelings.

See what I mean? Passing out Valentines basically gives kids an excuse to be mean to others.

Oh, and just the other day, when my son was putting his together, I noticed one he'd made for a kid in his class who is always teasing him and giving him grief. He wrote his name in teeny-tiny letters on the card, almost to make it obvious that he did not want to give this kid a Valentine, but had to because the rules state that everyone in the class must receive cards.

He went along with it, but I know offering a token of friendship to this kid will make him feel pretty awkward, considering how the little brat has treated him.

Yep. I'm thinking schools should just do away with Valentine parties altogether -- because there's really no other way to ensure that someone doesn't wind up sad and devastated on what is supposed to be the most love-filled day of the year.

Kids are mean enough to each other as it is without giving them an extra avenue to go about it.

How do you feel about Valentine parties?

by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I have no issue with it at all. I think it's great they do parties and stuff like that at school. Gives the kids a chance to learn to be SHARING and giving to others. IMO anyways. I love what my 17yr olds high school does. It's pretty awesome. Everyone in the school gets a heart necklace with their names on it, the boys get theirs today. THE FIRST GIRL they speak to they have to give them their heart and when the girl gets theirs on vday then they have to give that boy their heart. I think it's cute. Like my daughter said today, it's going to be a quiet day at school today till the boys figure out who they are giving their hearts too. LOL

Einworb
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 11:46 AM

 ^

That is an AWESOME idea!

I don't have any real problems with Valentines (here nor there). Unfortunately, people's feel goods will always be hurt from time to time. I think if we can focus on teaching our kids to treat others as they wish to be treated, we'd be in a more friendly and perhaps happier world all together.

michelle623
by Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 12:52 PM

I don't have any problems with Valentine's Day parties. 

auntangelofsix
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 1:20 PM
Me either.

Quoting michelle623:

I don't have any problems with Valentine's Day parties. 

Livigirlsmom322
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 1:31 PM
My dd's school has an ice cream social with the entire grade no cards are exchanged.
Anonymously3
by Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 2:22 PM

My dd has an icecream party and kids can bring in cards if they want but don't have to.if they do they just have to make sure to have one for each kid but they aren't made to bring them in

NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 2:23 PM

Cute idea but it doesnt sound very inclusive.  My daughter is gay.... to participate does she have to play straight for the day?  Are there even numbers of boys and girls in the school or is someone left out?  What happens if a boy has a gf but doesnt see her till 3rd hour but has to do  a lab with another girl in 2nd hour.  

It seems to me there should be a way of doing this that people can give and get MANY hearts with names on them.  People can be encouraged to give them to guys and girls, as a symbol of friendship.  Your childs school seems to set kids up for some really hard situations.

Quoting DallasCowboys81:

I have no issue with it at all. I think it's great they do parties and stuff like that at school. Gives the kids a chance to learn to be SHARING and giving to others. IMO anyways. I love what my 17yr olds high school does. It's pretty awesome. Everyone in the school gets a heart necklace with their names on it, the boys get theirs today. THE FIRST GIRL they speak to they have to give them their heart and when the girl gets theirs on vday then they have to give that boy their heart. I think it's cute. Like my daughter said today, it's going to be a quiet day at school today till the boys figure out who they are giving their hearts too. LOL


lapcounter
by Super Mom on Feb. 13, 2014 at 2:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Or any other parties they have.

Quoting michelle623:

I don't have any problems with Valentine's Day parties. 

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la_bella_vita
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:19 PM

 No issue with them

FlutterbyMom3
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:30 PM
I think it's stupid to get rid of parties because someone makes a comment. I teach my kids it's okay if someone doesn't like them, we don't all get along and that's fine. So, if someone says something, ignore it.
Why can't parents teach that instead of taking away fun parties for all the other kids that could enjoy it?
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