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How to work past anxiety over dentist...*please no bashing*

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:00 AM
  • 11 Replies

Last year was a hard year for my family. I did not have a job and we could not afford much. It took all we had to pay bills and put food on the table. I was not able to take my 3 kids to the dentist like they needed to be. I have a dentist appointment for all three of them on Tuesday. My daughter has a huge fear of the dentist because when she was younger she needed dental work done. Plus she has had to have baby teeth pulled because her adult teeth have grown in behind the baby teeth. Her first dentist she went to told me because she had 3 little cavities that she could call DSS on me because she had cavities. I've sense checked with my new dentist and he said that I should not worry about that because kids do get cavities. I can't stop worrying though. I am fearful for my daughter because I know her anxiety. I am afraid of going and hearing the dreaded news that they might have a cavity. I am terrified of the dentist myself. I do not show them this and only talk about how we all have to go to have healthy teeth and they will get a surprise afterwards. When I hear a cavity I feel like a failure as a mother. Any tips of high anxiety about a dentist visit?

by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
beadingmom17
by Rachel on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:14 AM
Dude, cavities happen! They suck and need to be dealt with, but it's treatable.

It sounds like you've had some really bad dentists in the past. Is there a comfort object your daughter can bring with her to help calm her nerves?
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Hopefulsoul82
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:17 AM

I did have very bad dental experiences in my youth. One being in the third grade and being in an accident and having tons of dental work. I know how much I love my children so something about the dentist I first took my daughter to has terrified me.

She does have a "prayer blanket" she uses when she sleeps. I will let her bring that. Thank you!

 

IamMex11
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:17 AM
1 mom liked this

Your children feed off your anxiety.  You need to make them aware that dental health is part of your overall health and it doesn't have to be gruesome. Breathing helps in all stressful situations so you need to help your child learn some breathing techniques to be used in case of anxiety.  TRY to make it as easy as possible by displaying a positive attitude towards dental health!!

beadingmom17
by Rachel on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Also, once you find a dentist you like and trust, find a hygienist you like and request them! Having the same dental hygienist every time will bring comfort and familiarity.

Quoting Hopefulsoul82:

I did have very bad dental experiences in my youth. One being in the third grade and being in an accident and having tons of dental work. I know how much I love my children so something about the dentist I first took my daughter to has terrified me.


She does have a "prayer blanket" she uses when she sleeps. I will let her bring that. Thank you!


 

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Hopefulsoul82
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:24 AM

 I agree! My daughter and I work through her anxiety with breathing and she listens to zen music when she is really having a bad day and to go to sleep. I wonder if she can bring her ipod with earphones and listen to it when she is there?

Quoting IamMex11:

Your children feed off your anxiety.  You need to make them aware that dental health is part of your overall health and it doesn't have to be gruesome. Breathing helps in all stressful situations so you need to help your child learn some breathing techniques to be used in case of anxiety.  TRY to make it as easy as possible by displaying a positive attitude towards dental health!!

 

MissLydie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:29 AM
Our dentist allows that.... Also you want the earliest appointment you can get in the morning that way there is less time to worry about it, you just get up, dressed and go!

Quoting Hopefulsoul82:

 I agree! My daughter and I work through her anxiety with breathing and she listens to zen music when she is really having a bad day and to go to sleep. I wonder if she can bring her ipod with earphones and listen to it when she is there?


Quoting IamMex11:

Your children feed off your anxiety.  You need to make them aware that dental health is part of your overall health and it doesn't have to be gruesome. Breathing helps in all stressful situations so you need to help your child learn some breathing techniques to be used in case of anxiety.  TRY to make it as easy as possible by displaying a positive attitude towards dental health!!


 

ljmom24
by Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:37 AM
I had to be gassed as a kid just for cleanings after some horrible dental experiences. Worried because my oldest is just like me but 10 times worse at dr so procrastinated with the dentist but he has low enamel from his cleft so cavities happen and happen a lot no matter how much brushing rinsing ext but he did awesome. Best patient his dentist would say. first dentist we used was not on our dental plan but worked with his team at children's. Well over $800 later we were broke. I had to cancel cleanings because I was still paying off the bill. We eventually switched dentist but I still worry about the cost even at the covered dentist. It's tough we have a great plan now but it still only covers so much and sometimes we have to put things like food and mortgage and household bills first. No judgment here it's tough plus anxiety. Could your dh take them? My ds had to have a tooth pulled and my mom also shares the dental anxiety and the two of us took and he did ok but in hind sight probably should have sent dh with him.
Hopefulsoul82
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:50 AM

 *hugs* You sound just like me when I read this. My husband refuses to take them
so it's left up to me. My best friend is going with me on Tuesday. I've got to do it
and go on ahead and make an appointment for any fillings that need to be done.
I just hate this whole thing. Not enough to not go but I am very hard on myself
as a parent. I expect perfection and when I hear cavity a bell goes off in my
head saying "failure"!

Quoting ljmom24: I had to be gassed as a kid just for cleanings after some horrible dental experiences. Worried because my oldest is just like me but 10 times worse at dr so procrastinated with the dentist but he has low enamel from his cleft so cavities happen and happen a lot no matter how much brushing rinsing ext but he did awesome. Best patient his dentist would say. first dentist we used was not on our dental plan but worked with his team at children's. Well over $800 later we were broke. I had to cancel cleanings because I was still paying off the bill. We eventually switched dentist but I still worry about the cost even at the covered dentist. It's tough we have a great plan now but it still only covers so much and sometimes we have to put things like food and mortgage and household bills first. No judgment here it's tough plus anxiety. Could your dh take them? My ds had to have a tooth pulled and my mom also shares the dental anxiety and the two of us took and he did ok but in hind sight probably should have sent dh with him.

 

Hopefulsoul82
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:51 AM

 I have never thought about letting them see the same hygenist. Love that idea! Thank you!

Quoting MissLydie: Our dentist allows that.... Also you want the earliest appointment you can get in the morning that way there is less time to worry about it, you just get up, dressed and go!

Quoting Hopefulsoul82:

 I agree! My daughter and I work through her anxiety with breathing and she listens to zen music when she is really having a bad day and to go to sleep. I wonder if she can bring her ipod with earphones and listen to it when she is there?


Quoting IamMex11:

Your children feed off your anxiety.  You need to make them aware that dental health is part of your overall health and it doesn't have to be gruesome. Breathing helps in all stressful situations so you need to help your child learn some breathing techniques to be used in case of anxiety.  TRY to make it as easy as possible by displaying a positive attitude towards dental health!!


 

 

IamMex11
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 8:08 AM

my children's dentist allows ipods

i also picked a dentist that DOES NOT papoose (sp?)

Quoting Hopefulsoul82:

 I agree! My daughter and I work through her anxiety with breathing and she listens to zen music when she is really having a bad day and to go to sleep. I wonder if she can bring her ipod with earphones and listen to it when she is there?

Quoting IamMex11:

Your children feed off your anxiety.  You need to make them aware that dental health is part of your overall health and it doesn't have to be gruesome. Breathing helps in all stressful situations so you need to help your child learn some breathing techniques to be used in case of anxiety.  TRY to make it as easy as possible by displaying a positive attitude towards dental health!!



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