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Tummy Tuck

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:00 AM
  • 8 Replies

After having 2 kids my body totally change.  I often spoke to my husband about wanting a tummy tuck.  He was supported but always told me that he was not complaining and that I didn't need it.  It has been 10 days since I had my tummy tuck. Ran into complications but recovering now.  He has been doing a lot. Taking and picking up kids at school. cooking, cleaning, and etc.  My husband does what needs to be done but I feel that sometimes he does it because he has to. Yesterday, I voiced how I felt and he exploded. He said that I was unappraciated and selfish.  He told me that the kids had no reason seeing me in the condition that I was in. He stated I was only thinking about myself. "VAIN"  I am a great mom. wife, sister, daugther, and friend.  I was just not happy with my tummy and wanted to take care of it for many years. I am really hurt with him ..

by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-8):
chickadees
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:07 AM

You know, if it was something you needed to do to feel better about yourself then fine. Since he hasn't popped out two kids or seen his body morph into something he doesn't recognize right before his eyes he probably won't understand.  He is probably overwhelmed doing his jobs and yours too.  See what happens...hopefullly he will apologize.

denise2014
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:11 AM

I am feeling extremely guilty now. 

withsecond
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:43 AM
I'm sure he's just overwhelmed with having to do everything right now. Men don't always do as well with all of the things we usually do. If he's not used to it, he's probably just frustrated.
He didn't think you needed it so he doesn't understand why you put yourself through that.
You can't take it back so don't feel guilty. Just try not to let what he said get to you. Try talking to him. Let him know that it was something you needed to do to make yourself feel better.
funhappymom
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 8:44 AM

I don't think I understand why you made a big deal out of him doing what needed to be done.

I think you both need to sit down and talk. Don't yell, don't accuse, just talk. Let him know your feelings and let him share his. Be real about it.



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denise2014
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 9:35 AM

I know that he is doing a lot but I have be there many times and did not react the way he did.  As a couple we should work together.  I know that he has a very stressful job and lots of times he is extrememly over whelmed but he job has nothing to do with me.  I know I can not go back and change anything but I am afraid overdoing myself because I just want to make a statement.  I DO NOT NEED YOU. I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN..... When realistically, I know that is a lie.....

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 10:09 AM

"I do not need you. I can do it all on my own."   I hope that I misunderstood what you have written here. You don't want to say this ever to him.  Instead tell him how wonderful he has been with all of the extra help when you know he is incredibly busy and tired already from work. I can understand that he would feel that the children needed to be protected from worrying about their mom feeling so poorly.  He is amazing and should be told he is.

Quoting denise2014:

I know that he is doing a lot but I have be there many times and did not react the way he did.  As a couple we should work together.  I know that he has a very stressful job and lots of times he is extrememly over whelmed but he job has nothing to do with me.  I know I can not go back and change anything but I am afraid overdoing myself because I just want to make a statement.  I DO NOT NEED YOU. I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN..... When realistically, I know that is a lie.....


denise2014
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 11:17 AM

That is the anger in my taking over.  I would not tell him that.  That is how I was feeling because I am so upset and hurt.  I have told him many times how thankful I am fr having such a good husband and father.  My I extremely emotional. Not sure if it has to do with surgery or just something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mgm_5
by Mari on Feb. 21, 2014 at 11:23 AM
Men will never know the toll birthing kids takes on our bodies since they can't do it themselves, don't feel guilty, fuck what he thinks
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