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So they actually think we're divorced...and that I am a horrible mother.

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:18 AM
  • 49 Replies
My husband coaches my 11 year old son's basketball team. I am the team parent. I schedule the snacks, send out reminder emails, coordinate with the president. I got the trophies and jerseys ready. I picked up equipment when I could. Etc.

However, due to work I haven't been able to go to that many games or practices. Sometimes when we go, we take two cars because I'm almost always on call, because if something happens I have to go. I have to
work this much because my husband is not working right now.

Well, it's the end of the season. I went to the last practice of the game (in a different car because I just came off of work). All the parents were staring at me. Whispering. It felt weird. But I wasn't sure what they were talking about. I ignored them.

After the practice, my son told me that the kids and the parents think that my husband and I are divorced. That he has full custody and I never see my kids, and that I don't support their activities. WOW. One of the kids parents was collecting money to get a gift for my husband and her son told my son that she refused to get me a gift because I abandoned my children and my husband.

WOW!!!!!

I am in shock at their horrible assumptions! I don't want a gift. I don't even want their approval. I just don't appreciate the parents talking about me to their children, and then it getting back to my son. My son thought it was hilarious, but still that is awful.

My husband and I have been happily married for 12 years, together for 15. We are significantly younger than the other parents, so I see how they can assume. I also understand, I am not there that much. However, I am very supportive of my children and my husband. I just had to work extra to make things work. I have been to EVERY soccer game, football game, and baseball game my son has ever been in. I have been the team parent for every team. This basketball league has the oddest schedule and locations, plus they change things on a whim so it is very hard for me.

This is a prime example of people jumping to conclusions and judging someone when they don't know diddily squat!

Should I set things straight at the end of season party today? (The one that I planned at 12 midnight for the last week because that's the only time I had). Or just let it go?
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by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sonnyswoman75
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:21 AM
2 moms liked this
I would definitely let people know. Its stupid they assumed like that without asking.
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mysticatgal
by Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:22 AM
16 moms liked this
Go up to your husband at one point and kiss him or something affectionate but appropriate. That'll really get them confused.
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:23 AM
3 moms liked this

Oh no! What a disturbing thing to happen.  :(    I don't think an explanation is needed.  Greeting him with a hug at least and maybe a light kiss,  holding his hand or with your arm through his, these would indicate that you are indeed still in a loving relationship.  Not that they need to know, as you said, but this would help clear up misunderstandings without an announcement.

sara82lee
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:24 AM
2 moms liked this
Give him a kiss every time you are there and leave from now on.
sara82lee
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:26 AM
1 mom liked this
How do these people not know who's planning all of this stuff anyway?
toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:26 AM
3 moms liked this
I'm kind of mean sometimes, so I would probably make a public service announcement at the beginning of the party. That is so ridiculous. The fall soccer season my husband and I ran into issues like that because he was coaching our son, and our daughter plays also so they had conflicting schedules. So I never made a practice for my son, and was late for his games because our daughter played before him. Luckily there were parents who knew us so they set everyone straight for me.
AshleyLynnW
by Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:36 AM
11 moms liked this
What does your dh say about it? If he gives a little speech I hope he thanks his wonderful, supportive, very active behind the scenes wife in front of everyone! I wouldn't say anything, just be affectionate towards my dh.
4everJs
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:41 AM
I don't know. I email them all the time.

Quoting sara82lee: How do these people not know who's planning all of this stuff anyway?
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sonnyswoman75
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:42 AM
1 mom liked this
That's the way I am too! I can be the sweetest person in the world but piss me off and I will be a bitch. Messing with my family would be the easist way to get on my bitchy side.

Quoting toopicky429: I'm kind of mean sometimes, so I would probably make a public service announcement at the beginning of the party. That is so ridiculous. The fall soccer season my husband and I ran into issues like that because he was coaching our son, and our daughter plays also so they had conflicting schedules. So I never made a practice for my son, and was late for his games because our daughter played before him. Luckily there were parents who knew us so they set everyone straight for me.
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ljmom24
by Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 11:47 AM
I tend to be sarcastic do I'd probably go give him a kiss and ask how he is liking the divorce and give him a tap on the behind.

Jeez maybe it's that we are in such a diverse city i never pay much mind to others family units or maybe it's me. I'm not noisy. I'm usually the last to know.
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