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My husband does not know if he wants to be married or single

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 8:35 AM
  • 16 Replies
My husband and I have alln married for 11 years, we have 2 beautiful children together. Two weeks ago he told me he would not pretend to be happy anymore and that he wanted to separate to find out if he wanted to be single or married. I did find out that he has been texting a single woman but he says they are just friends, I don't believe that not that many texts. Even though we are separated, he wants us to get together for sex until he figures out what he wants. I still love him with all my heart and don't want to give up on our marriage and I agreed just so I can still have some connection with him even though I don't want to be used just for sex. What do I do?
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 9:02 AM
5 moms liked this
Dump his ass. How does he not know what he wants? He knows he wants to be single or he wouldn't risk losing you unless he knows you're a door mat that won't leave him no matter how he steps all over you.

So regardless of what HE wants, what do YOU want?
DeniseA1978
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 9:23 AM
I want a man that wants to be here with me and my kids, that knows he wants me and wants to make me happy. I know I should let him go completely, it's just hard to throw away 11 years, especially after everything we have been through. I know I deserve more than what he is giving me at this point. Thank you for your advice
stormie1985
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

You really arent the one who is throwing anything away though.  He is by texting other women and not knowing what he wants.  Its much easier to get over if you are just the one to make the decision instead of worrying about what hes going to do all the time.  And if this happens once... its going to happen every time he connects with another woman.  He's going to wonder what its like being with them in a relationship and withdraw.  You don't deserve that at all.  I was with my ex husband for 8 years and it's not easy even when no one does anything wrong.   I'm sorry he's putting you through this.

charity62
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

tell him no  you are giving him the milk  so why would he want more then just sex's

AbbeysMom2013
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm trying to decide myself if I want to be married or not.

But I don't think the game he is playing with you is right. He is playing with your emotions because he knows you want to stay in the marriage, you deserve better than that.
EmilysMom2010
by Bronze Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 10:36 AM
3 moms liked this
Nooooo.
You need to stop giving it up. Single guys don't get laid that much. So if he wants to know what it's like to be single his wife needs to cut him off.
I wouldn't let him touch me!!
JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Feb. 24, 2014 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to have a conversation with this single woman. If he wants to be single, tell him to be single. Of he wants to be married, pull his sleeves up and get to work - marriage isn't easy. He needs to decide whAt he wants and if he leaves then he's making his choice. It's not fair to you or your children for him to decide he wants to change the rules in the middle of the game.

Should he decide to stay home, I'd make him end these texts with the woman who is NOT his wife.
starreyedcutie
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 12:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Uhhhh thats a BIG HELL NO! Do not be is friggin booty call while he figures out what the hell he wants. Kick his ass to the curb and find someone that deserves you!!
withsecond
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 5:53 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow, I would make that decision for him and say well, you're single and move on.
I would laugh in his face about the continuing to have sex with you while he figured shit out. Fuck that.
He sounds like an ass. One you're better off without.
ninipanini
by Ruby Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 7:43 AM

That strikes me as something he should have considered BEFORE he got married

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