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The untold story of me!

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 3:04 PM
  • 9 Replies
Hey I'm Vedrinamom, I'm 27 years of age and I have been married for 9years. I have three children all girls. And I'm fighting the ever strong battle of love and self happiness.
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by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 3:04 PM
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Replies (1-9):
withsecond
by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 3:18 PM
Welcome :)
Vedrinamom
by New Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 4:08 PM
This may be toooo much to unload on the unfortunate reader, for that I'm sorry. I'm grasping for solutions that might make it easier or maybe just better. I need to make this very clear before I start on my post;my husband loves me and his kids with all his heart and is a Saint in some cases. He works 15hour jobs and still will come home and do the trash and dishes. But the emotional power he has over me with out tring is overwhelming. So that said let's being. I started my life earlier. Like some in the world I made a choice to be responsible over abortion. Then I married the father and have a total of three kids all girls. Over 9years together the troubles have taken their time weaving in to my life. And it got really bad when I tried to go out on a girls night out. I was safe didn't do anything that would start a fight. But that was not enough. I was getting txt and call bombed over the whole time. Real downer and just add to the stress. So I got home and let him have everything that was on my mind. He said he was sorry but is he really? No. So I told him that if he didn't try more to make himself healthy, and didn't start to trust me. We weren't going to make it much longer. This has been a ongoing issue and I feel so disconnect I can't lay with him. I love him but am I so depressed that I don't want to be with him anymore or am I truly not wanting to be with him at all. Grown apart! I'm sorry to all of you, I have so much suffering /pain. I just don't know what to do! Here is what I have done; therapy, books, meds, talking to the ob/gyn, the pastor, friends. And then the one person I didn't think could help, said he felt the same thing he drank tto solve the problem but he got violent. So he deviorced. He is happy with himself and the kids are happier and he still loves his ex but said he knew she wasn't his soul mate. Now I have really liked him, for years. But cuz he is friend with my husband that line has never been crossed. But hears the kicker he makes me feel something that my husband doesn't. That's messed up right. Ifeel like a really bad person. I ddon't have a job nothing to support my family with. I'm stuck and matter what I do. Stay here and never be happy or leave and cuz of money be that dead beat mom. And still be un happy. Please remember that this is a great big story. Not enough time to write about it. Thanks for reading this! I'm greatful for any ideas.
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Bmat
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 10:43 AM

Yes, avoid this guy.  You say he gets violent and then you make excuses for him.  Don't give him a chance to get violent with you and your children. Put him aside and grow on your own. You need to put your children first.  Help them to develop and be strong women.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 3, 2014 at 11:26 AM
Soooo agree! ((Hugs))

Quoting Bmat:

Yes, avoid this guy.  You say he gets violent and then you make excuses for him.  Don't give him a chance to get violent with you and your children. Put him aside and grow on your own. You need to put your children first.  Help them to develop and be strong women.

Reina13
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I have to agree with this. You need to avoid this other guy too.

As far as your husband goes, has be been to counseling? Not just you but him? I firmly believe that he needs to fix whatever is wrong with him and be happy with  himself before he can be happy with or make anyone else happy. Have you talked to him about this or even mentioned couples therapy to him?

I would start there and if that doesn't work, I was learn to grow on my own. Ultimately, you have to do what is in the best interest of your girls no matter what that may be. 

Goodluck

Quoting Bmat:

Yes, avoid this guy.  You say he gets violent and then you make excuses for him.  Don't give him a chance to get violent with you and your children. Put him aside and grow on your own. You need to put your children first.  Help them to develop and be strong women.


Vedrinamom
by New Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 3:49 PM

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Thank you ladies, I have been talking with my husband sicne I got the balls to. We have done the therapy with each other and by our selves. It has been two years ago. I know its a few years but I came to him with a lot of tears. I told him how disconnect I felt and even though I love him I feel like I have been drifting from him (growning apart). I have set another appointment for the personal therapy and then I will set up our session. I wish I had the opportunity /courage to tell my whole story but its hard. My husband is the world to me but the fact that I have been raised as a working girl its hard to be here day in and out. I feel like I'm a moucher. Even if that's not true. I still feel like that. I just want to be independent to feel like I'm taking care of my kids and I not need him. But when I think about it I can't. I can't find the person I am in side. I would love to have his job and have money and friends etc... But then again if I do that I won't have time for friends or any hobbies. If you could see all the work I have done. Remodel the house myself, did some remodel for a old lady. And the painting. I use to draw and paint it was good. But I can't even pick up the paint brush anymore. And I would like clear up something, this other man has been down the same path my father has, but they both have been getting help. I would never put my life or my kids in danger. But I wish you could feel what's in side. Thanks you! Post you later.
hugss
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by Emerald Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:34 PM

Welcome to CafeMom,
How old are your girls?
Nice to meet you :)

Quoting Vedrinamom: Hey I'm Vedrinamom, I'm 27 years of age and I have been married for 9years. I have three children all girls. And I'm fighting the ever strong battle of love and self happiness.


Vedrinamom
by New Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 5:32 PM
Three, five, and seven. Are the ages of my kidso. Thank you for the welcoming.
natural_s
by Bronze Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 6:27 PM

Welcome to cafemom.

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