I'm really looking for some advice or maybe even pity, I don't know, but I'm in a really crappy situation and I need somewhere to whine and cry about it I guess. My only friend is deployed and we don't talk that often because her internet connection is shitty. In any case, I divorced my first husband and DS #1's father. We were married for 8 years. In the middle of our divorce, I met a guy when I went away for training (I'm in the Army). His wife had cheated on him several times and he was in the midst of getting separated from her. He was very honest and sincere and had ben through a lot being injured in Iraq and losing a lot of friends, etc. We fell in love and began a relationship, however I am stationed in Colorado and him in Texas. When we left school we were together, and we would fly back and forth to visit each other. I went to the field for a month and didn't take my birth control; his doctors told him after he was injured he was sterile anyway so when I visited him after the field I didn't bother to refill my pills. Of course, 5 months into the relationship, I found out I was pregnant. In the midst of all of this, he was supposed to deploy to Afghanistan but a health screening revealed a traumatic brain injury that had never been treated and he was put into treatment and eventually put into a medical evaluation board to put him out of the Army for medical reasons. These boards can take a year or more to be over and done with, and in the meantime he cannot move. Even though we got married and enrolled in the Married Army Couples Program, they will not move me either because I just changed my job. So, our DS, #2 for me, is almost 3 months old and we are still doing the long distance thing. We've been together almost a year and a half and I have to say I am losing faith. I still love him, and I trust him; he has never given me a reason to doubt his loyalty in the whole time we've been living separately. He goes through a great deal of trouble to come see me and the baby and he's great with my 7 year old. I'm still active duty, and I've been taking care of the baby alone aside from the month and a half he and I had together with the baby before I had to go back to work. He doesn't sleep through the night, the most sleep I've had at one time since he was born is 2 hours. I realize that we got pregnant before we were able to live together, but I didn't want to be doing this on my own either. I'm starting to resent him for not being here. To top it off, he's started a technical school to help him get a job when he gets out so we don't talk as much as we used to and when we do I'm usually pissed off. I'm a little depressed because I'm so tired, emotionally and physically. I can't lose the baby weight because half the time I am too tired to workout the way I need to. I look like death because I never sleep. I feel like I look old and I'm fat and I'm alone. I'm very miserable and I see no light ahead. Just needed to get that off of my chest. Sorry for the bitch fest!